Pregnant after a Loss

Can't seem to say (or think) "I'm pregnant"

I know I'm only a few days past my BFP, but the whole thing still seems very unreal to me. And it also feels so very precarious. I find myself saying things like "I got a positive pg test" or "I might be pg" rather than just "I'm pg." It feels very odd. I think my 2 pregnancies that ended in m/c seem almost imaginary to me, and so I can't really believe in this one either. I'm sure there are others out there who struggle with this. Any thoughts? 
Mommy to Alden, born May 19, 2007 - best birthday present ever! natural m/c October 20, 2008 at 8w1d BFP April 4, 2009! Missed m/c discovered May 1, 2009 D&C May 12,2009 BFP March 3, 2010 Chemical pregnancy BFP May 25, 2010 Elias Derek born January 26, 2011! Surprise BFP October 24, 2012 Missed m/c confirmed Nov 26 D&C Nov 30 Surprise BFP February 13, 2013

Re: Can't seem to say (or think) "I'm pregnant"

  • I totally understand where you are coming from.  I am petrified.  I am trying to keep the mindset that I don't want to waste precious time with my baby in denial.  If this pg does end up that way, I don't want to regret the time I could have spent enjoying my baby and being pregnant.
    BFP #1 10/2009 Miscarriage #1 at 4w3d BFP #2 02/2010- Our Forever Baby Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • I've really only embraced this pregnancy after 20 weeks. Before that, I would do anything to not mention my pregnancy to people, even when it was really obvious. I don't have any advice. I sort of got through it just by getting far enough along in this pregnancy.
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  • I struggled with this until I saw my baby move and heard the heartbeat. I am now starting to tell people and it is becoming more real as time goes by. Don't get me wrong, I am still nervous as anything! Don't stress out if you aren't excited or comfortable with it at first, you will get there.
    Three losses in 2009, a miracle in 2010! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker The Method to My Madness, a PPD blog
  • Hugs.  I've been feeling the same way.  I keep saying things like "if something goes wrong" or "if everything goes right" and my dh keeps yelling at me.  I'm trying not to get too excited...since I've finally started accepting that I am pg...but I can't think too far ahead yet about names and furniture and child care.
    BFP #1 - 10/20/09 EDD 07/01/10 M/C @ 8 weeks
    BFP #2 - 2/27/10 EDD 11/9/10 Born 11/3/10
    BFP #3 - 8/1/13 EDD 4/13/14 :)<3


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    Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • Definitely can relate to that feeling.  It got a lot better after seeing the heartbeat on ultrasound since we didn't get to see that last time. 
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  • I am feeling the same way.  I do not really want to bring it up too much.
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  • I know how you feel too! I got my BFP a week ago and althought I have told some family and friends - it just doesn't seem real to me yet.  I think I am just trying to preserve my feelings.  Although I do feel a little different.  My first BFP was kind of a shock and I was so scared that something was going to go wrong and I was panicking all the time.  This time, I am just trying to enjoy it!  I am a little more calm and trying to be very optimistic about things!  I just feel so lucky and blessed right now. 
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  • I know exactly what you mean.   DH and I have started talking and planning, only because we have so much to do.  But I always preface the comments with, "If everything turns out . . . ", or something like that.

    I hate talking about my pregnancy with people at work (unfortunately, they have to know).  They always talk about things like they are for certain, only because they have never had losses.  I don't want to give them my feelings on whether or not I'll have an epidural, whether or not I will breastfeed, etc - it just seems wrong to talk about anything like that at this stage.

    I hope that things get more real as time goes by - I think that's the best we can hope for, and I think it is understandable to be guarded.

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  • I feel the same way.  Not enjoying this pregnancy yet due to the fear of miscarriage.  With my DS, I was so excited, told everyone, and to say the least, so naive about miscarriage.  I want the fear to go away.  Hopefully, as others have stated, it will as time goes on.  After my first ultrasound, I had such a sense of relief, but days later, the fear set in again.  Right now, I can only pray everything is okay, and count down the days till my next appointment. 
  • I can completely relate.  I was in the car alone today and I had to force myself over and over again and forced myself to get excited.
    *~*Mommy to*~*
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    BFP#1 Kaitlyn 11-17-04
    BFP #2 Matthew pPROM 23w5d 06-03-07, b/33 weeks 8-6-07, d/10-15-07 SIDS,
    BFP #3 m/c 8 weeks 2/20/09, BFP #4 m/c no hb 6w4d, m/c 9w4d, D&C 11w2d, BFP #5 C/P 12/18/09 after BFP- 9dpo
    BFP #6 Samantha- 11-9-10
    BFP #7 4/20/12 21 DPO beta: 2382 29 DPO beta: 23000! HB 6w2d 116 bpm due Christmas day!
    This Momma's Journey
    ~Today I am pregnant and I love my baby~ BabyFruit Ticker
  • I got the + test last week. I feel the same way. I know I'll feel better when I go to the doctor and an u/s will be done.

    Congrats on your BFP!

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    BFP #1 on cycle 19, 6/13/09, blighted ovum discovered on 8/3/09
    BFP #2 3/1/10 yay for seeing the baby and seeing hb at 6w! Found at on 4/26/10 that the baby had stopped growing at 7w
    BFP #3 11/19/11
    Baby Boy Bruce born 7/21/12
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    Check out my blog!
  • Ya, LO isn't a topic of discussion between dh and I yet, so obviously it's just not a topic of discussion period. I don't even feel pregnant most of the time, so it's hard to believe I am pregnant, hopefully tomorrow it might make it a litlte more real.
    Marie, wife to Ron, mom to DS
  • what you are feeling is totally normal!  I really wouldn't even say "I'm pregnant" until people could physically see my bump at about 20 weeks...until then I just kind of kept it inside.  You will be able to say it when it feels right for you. :)
    Asher Thomas 5.19.10
    Miles Edmund 12.29.11
    Liam Robert 1.21.14
    Baby 4...ok probably another boy here haha 9.20.15
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