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Sex... I still can't do it

ELPBELPB
in Postpartum Depression

DH and I haven't been intimate in any kind of way (not even passionate kissing) since the day I conceived. It's now been 11 months of nothing. I know DH is more than ready, but I still have no desire. I love him. I am attacted to him. But the PPD and my anxiety make me feel either sad or angry all the time.

I know DH would never cheat or leave me because of this, but at the same time, he doesn't understand what I'm going through. I feel so helpless. I mean, we have been married since July 2008, and we haven't had sex since April 2009. And maybe I would feel differently if we fooled around at all. But we don't. And we haven't since conception.

I just don't know what to do to get over this... I'm afraid that if I do try to have sex, I might start crying.

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Re: Sex... I still can't do it

  • reemarie81reemarie81 member
    I haven't had my baby yet but have had PPD in the past with my other two pregnancies.  I would set your mind up for sexy time.  Try lubricants that might help feel tingly in your vagina.  I have some stuff from Pure Romance.  Check it out online.  I would try those things.  I would also try kissing more a little here and there to help the sexy feeling light up.  It will take time but you and DH need to release yourselves and may help you as well.  GL!! 
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  • SarahGroves11SarahGroves11
    I totally understand. While I was pregnant DH and I only had it about 4 or 5 times in the very beginning. I still wanted it, and he didn't. Ever since I gave birth he's been bugging me constantly. He really didn't understand at all. I even made him read an article on why mom's libidos are not that great after having a baby. He still didn't get that I was tired, crabby, felt unattractive, and the zoloft wasn't helping either. Anyway, the first two times I only did it for him. Then the other day he spend a LOT of time getting me in the mood while DS was down for the night. It took longer than normal, but it was nice. I still am not really in the mood as much as I used to be. Just give it time. Tell him that he has to work harder to get you ready! It can be hard to get your mind off of everything! GL! :)
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  • jmomma07jmomma07

    You are not alone.  I really had no interest in sex during pregnancy due to being so uncomfortable and afterwards, I just had no interest period.  You've been through a lot and you need to give yourself time to work sex back into your relationship.  Sleep deprivation with a new baby doesn't really help matters much.  I would say to try and be as open as you can with him and tell him that you are having a difficult time and explain how you are feeling. 

    You might want to try speaking to your doctor if the PPD and anxiety are getting that bad.  I'm not sure how you feel about medications, but sometimes they really can help...there are also some out there that won't affect your sex drive.  Good luck, I know how difficult this can be !

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  • ELPBELPB
    Thanks, ladies. I did get my Zoloft re-prescribed, but I haven't started it yet- I wanted to wait until after I finished this college class (finished on Monday) because of the crappy way it makes me feel those first two weeks. DH is ok with it, and we had a talk about it a few nights ago. He doesn't understand how I never have the desire, but he knows it's something we'll have to work through together.
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