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Anyone else feel this way? *Vent*

laurens1122laurens1122
in Trouble TTC

So MH and I were talking last night about our upcoming IVF and other things going on in our lives right now when we realized this isn't the perfect time to do our IVF. (But really, when would it ever be the perfect time??) For example, we recently had to drain some of our savings, DH is working tons of extra hours right now, and we have a few tiny relationship issues we're currently working through. I started to get really angry that we can't just get KU randomly like every other couple, like we can't have an "oops" pregnancy. The timing is never perfect when a couple gets pregnant but you just make it work. I feel like with needing fertility treatments you miss out on this luxury and I'm angry about it. I'm angry that everything is so planned out and there's no spontaneity to getting pg.

MH and I were also figuring out if we can afford all the co-pays, for meds and dr appts, and the cost to freeze sperm this month and that sucks! Why can't we just get KU without it costing so much money?? I know we are lucky that our insurance covers a lot of fertility treatments and all of you ladies that have to pay OOP are spending a lot more money then me but it is just so frustrating!

Does anyone else understand what I'm trying to say? I feel like this didn't come out clearly. lol

ETA- I really thing IF should be a "real" disease that ALL insurance companies cover! It is no different then any other disease!

The love of my life, Riley.
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Re: Anyone else feel this way? *Vent*

  • JessicaAliceJessicaAlice
    I completely understand what you are saying.  I get so frustrated that we have to spend all of our extra money to have a baby and it isnt even guaranteed that it is going to work.  We are essentially just flushing thousands of dollars down the drain when the treatments dont work and there are many people who do this all for free.  It gets so irritating.  I hate that it is all planned out and there is nothing "miraculous" about us conceiving.  Blah.
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  • loloindiegololoindiego

    I totally understand what you're saying. I've sort of come to terms with the fact that we're not going to get pregnant the old fashion way. When it comes down to it the end result is the same - so I'm fine with it.

    Having to put so much money into getting pregnant is also definitely frustrating, but again I just think of the end result. Now there just better be an end result, dammit.

    (((hugs)))

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  • laurens1122laurens1122
    imageloloindiego:

    I totally understand what you're saying. I've sort of come to terms with the fact that we're not going to get pregnant the old fashion way. When it comes down to it the end result is the same - so I'm fine with it.

    Having to put so much money into getting pregnant is also definitely frustrating, but again I just think of the end result. Now there just better be an end result, dammit.

    (((hugs)))

    Thanks ladies! I knew I could find some other ladies that understand my frustration. :)

    On my good days I feel this way. But today isn't one of those good days. For some reason I was thinking about how much I miss that feeling of POAS and honestly thinking it might be +. I know I'll get to POAS in a month or so and it again, might be + but I'm scared to death it will be -. 

    And like you said Jessica, what if we go through all of this and get a BFN at the end? I totally wouldn't mind spending the money if we were guaranteed a take home baby but the uncertainty of it all depresses me.  I think they should offer partial refunds for BFN IVF cycles!

     

    The love of my life, Riley.
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  • OceanBreeze1OceanBreeze1 member

    I completely understand what you're feeling -- even more so today at IUI#1. I was like, wow, how crazy is this that we're not having sex to have a baby ... and then I got to thinking that this is how you *should* get KU so the people who actually want to get KU can (but then I thought there would be less for people to adopt).

    And you are right, there is no "perfect" time. It's so hard to keep going through with the steps when everything is so forced like you said. Just know that the end result will be worth it, and all the little things making you think it isn't the right time will suddenly not matter.

    ((hugs)) and GL!

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