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Stranger safety

safysafy
in Stay at Home Moms

My kids have watched the Safe Side vid quite often so my 4 yr old has a fairly good idea of what not to do, who not to talk to, etc, but it's still confusing to her why *I* talk to strangers sometimes. For example, I saw a very pg woman trying to load a huge box with a car seat in it into her car at Target the other day and I stopped to help her.  My DD asks, "was that a don't know? (Don't knows is the term they use in the vid to describe people you don't know and shouldn't talk to.) Why did you talk to her?"  I explained to her that the woman needed help and I went to help her, but in her mind, we don't know this person, so we shouldn't even talk to them.  Then one night, we went out to a hibachi grill for dinner, where they cram 8-10 people around the same hibachi grill. In situations like that, it's very common for strangers sitting next to each other to make small talk, and have a good time. The guy sitting next to me started chatting with me about the drinks menu, commented on the chef's cooking and performance, etc. When they left, they waved at my kids and said, "goodbye" but my DD hid behind me (she's usually very social) and loudly said, "he's a don't know. I'm not talking to him."  Well, yes, technically, she shouldn't talk to him because he is a stranger, but at the same time, in that situation, it could also be considered rude not say a simple, "goodbye." On one hand, I'm proud of her for recognizing a stranger and not talking to him, but there are also situations when it's ok to say something, kwim?

So how do you go about teaching your kiddos stranger safety?  How do you explain different situations to them?  How do you explain why you talk to strangers sometimes?

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Re: Stranger safety

  • jacksjerseygirljacksjerseygirl member

    I'm no where near at that stage yet. But, even though they may have a new version out by the time Grant is old enough, I'm definitely bookmarking that video. 

    I think I might go about explaining the difference by saying ... when mommy/daddy is with you, you are safe and if mommy/daddy is with you and talks to a 'don't know' then it is okay. And when 'you' become an adult like mommy/daddy then you'll be able to know when it is okay to talk to a 'don't know'. 

    Or something along those lines but ... no first hand experience haha so with a grain of salt. 

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  • JDCSKFJDCSKF
    We have a police officer come talk to our MOMS Club every year right around the beginning of school, and the program they use is called, "check first." Basically, the kids need to check in with the person they are with (mom, dad, grandma, and aunt in my case usually) before they can go with a stranger, or talk to a stranger. It also handles situations where they can't find their care takers, and they need to tell someone they are lost (and obviously, they can't "check first" before talking to or going with someone they don't know). Stupidly, I can't remember the answer, but if I remember correctly, they should wait were they are (don't go with anyone) until a police person comes to them. Something like that.
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  • dionnemd10dionnemd10 member

    we are only at the "stay by mommy and daddy or grammi etc to make sure they stay safe"  they meaning mommy, daddy or grammi.   when i worked with kids i found instead of making the kid scared of strangers or being lost it was more important for them to make sure Mommy didn't get lost or when crossing the street it is the kids job to keep mommy safe.  

    last week my 3 year old left a building we were in by herself and was all mad that another mom grabbed her jacket.  i tried to tell my daughter that the lady was making sure that mommy was close by and i was trying to tell my daughter that she needed to stay with me to keep me safe. 

    with the strangers i would try to distiguish between talking to strangers when mommy is close by and talking to strangers when no one else is around?   or perhaps in the case of the pg woman "that is going to be a mommy so we were helping her keep her baby safe."   something on that line perhaps.

    in the restaurant scenario-it is okay to say good bye to the person we just had dinner with.

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