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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
if you sleep train(ed)
We are just starting to do a modified CIO (if you would even call it that). When DS goes down for the night, and if he wakes up, we let him fuss/cry for a certain amount of time, then we will go in and give him a paci & a shush (or if its the middle of the night, I will often just bring him to bed with me) It started at 5 mins, 6, and now 10 (if we can stand it that long). It seems to be working as last night he woke up an hour after being laid down fussed/shouted for 6 mins and fell back to sleep on his own.
Would you mind sharing what you've done exactly (please don't name a method, as I don't know what each one entails), and how you handle it emotionally?
TIA!
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Re: if you sleep train(ed)
I dont know if people refer to this as CIO or not. But our LO will sometimes wake up in the middle of the night or just a little while after I Put her down for bed. She eehh eeehs a lot which I refer to as fussing, its not a full out crying. If she does this, we just let her be and most of the time she will go back to sleep on her own. If she wakes up crying, then dh goes to check on her and will usually pick her up, burp her, and then put her back down. We found that if I go in she wants my boob, even if she isnt hungry & is calmer if dh just goes in. For naps, I will let her cry for 5 minutes - most of the time falls asleep on her own by then. If not, then I go in pick her up, burp her, shh her, and then put her back down again. I then let her cry for 5 more minutes. If she doesnt fall asleep in those 5 min then I go back in and get her up, play with her or nurse her - basically give up on the nap. Its very rare that she doesnt go to sleep on her own at that point though.
I have no clue if this is a method or what, but it works for me and I feel comfortable with it. I did read that sometimse they need to cry to unwind or relax themselves and its weird but if I stay in her room, it takes her longer to fall asleep for naps, but if I just leave while she is crying typically she is conked in just a couple minutes.
We just started doing this, and we're seeing some success, though we're not done yet.
I went through our whole routine, rocked him half way to sleep, laid him down and sat with him with my hand on his chest and shushed him. It only took 45 minutes, and he didn't fuss the whole time, just off and on. Now, 4 days later, I'm just laying him down, rubbing his chest, shushing him for a few minutes, then leaving. He cries for a few minutes, then falls asleep.
What I told myself was that he is crying because he's learning a new way to sleep, and it's unfamiliar to him. He's frustrated, but not mad.
Good luck! You can do it!
We did total-weenie CIO.
Night 1: Fed him bottle until he was *almost* asleep. Gently placed in crib, he fussed then cried. After 5 mins, I went in and patted his butt, shushed him, left the room. 5 minutes later, he was screaming and I went and got him out of the crib. FAIL.
BUT, I was so tired at that point that when he woke up during the night, I couldn't convince myself to get up. I could see him on the video monitor, he was fine, and I DID get up to feed him once, when I knew he was hungry, but I basically just let him fuss a little and he went back to sleep. He never started crying really.
Night 2: Armed with the fussing/back to sleep of the middle of the night, we had a little more willpower. This time I fed him until he was almost asleep, put him down, he cried for 5 mins, I went in and patted him, he fussed for 10, DH went in and patted, he fussed for 15 mins, I went in and patted him, then he fell asleep. Yay!
Night 3: All h*ll broke loose. We did the same as night 2, but LO screamed like crazy. We comforted him at the same intervals, it was awful. DH and I took turns going outside so only one of us had to listen to the baby cry. Just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore (after maybe 15 mins of crying-with breaks for comfort without picking him up), he fell asleep AND HE STAYED ASLEEP ALL NIGHT. From 8pm-6am. I felt like a whole new person, LO seemed happier and napped better the next day....it was great, and it helped us get through the next week or so.
Nights 4-10ish. Some nights just fussing, some nights with crying. The crying was terrible every time, and we never let him cry for more than 20 minutes, but I swear, every time I said, "I just can't let him cry anymore," DH would tell me to wait a couple more minutes, and if I did, LO would fall asleep.
We started about a month ago, and LO still fusses himself to sleep some nights, but he also sleeps from 7pm-5am most nights, and only sometimes wakes up once to eat.
This was super-long...sorry. Let me also say that I was totally opposed to CIO before this. The only reason I even tried it was because I was afraid I was going to lose my job if I didn't start getting some sleep. AND because my pedi convinced me it would be better for Finn, too. The key, though, seemed to be waiting just a tiny bit longer than I thought I could. He fell asleep every single time.
Best of luck.
Just Friday night we started putting DD to sleep drowsy, but awake. We went through our whole bedtime routine (feeding, bath, story and a little rocking) before putting her in the crib though. She actually fell right asleep which we thought was amazing. She fussed a little throughout the first night and we let her fuss unless she was crying "hungry cry." She fussed for about 20 minutes one time and then cried herself to sleep for about 30 minutes after her middle of the night feeding. Since the first night, she has not cried more than 2 minutes unless she is hungry.
I know some people say she is too young to do CIO with, but she hasn't cried at all since the first night. I actually think she is more stimulated when we are there which is why she has an easier time going to sleep on her own.
So, CIO worked well for us. I will say that we have a video monitor which makes it easier when she cried. Good luck!
Also, the what to expect the first year book has a good section on sleep training.
We let him cry 3 minutes, then 5 minutes, then 10 minutes repeating until asleep.
A video monitor helped. The fact that my kid isn't really a crier, more of a fusser helped. If he was really full on screaming, I don't think I would have had the heart for it.
The biggest thing though was seeing how much happier he was in the morning and throughout the day (even after the first night) because he was well rested. If he wasn't waking happy or if he seemed in any way... what's the word... this isn't what I want to say, but I'll say it anyway... If he seemed in any way "damaged" we would have stopped immediatly.
But he wasn't. He was super happy.