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Parenting
Woud you move under these conditions?
Suppose you had a chance to move across the country. The new city would many more opportunities than what you currently have but you would have to leave behind a very large support network of friends and family. You know one other person, a very exceptionally close friend, who lives in the new city. You do not have jobs lined up in the new city, but you do have someone offering you a free place to live until you get on your feet and you would have enough cash on hand when moving to last a good 6 months or more before a regular income would be needed. You also have contacts in your industry and could get some part-time freelance work right away, but it might take a little while to generate a full-time income.
Moving would also mean getting rid of/selling most of your crap and starting all over. You would have to be willing to drastically downsize with the goal of being able to work less and live with less in order to have more downtime, relax more, spend more time together as a family, more flexibility to travel, etc. If it didn't work out, you could always move back home.
We're seriously considering it. We love our town here and would be sad to leave our huge support network behind, but at the same time feel totally stagnant here. We've always been so cautious and not willing to take many chances, I sort of feel like this is our last chance to take a leap of faith and try something new. I don't want to wake-up 20 years from now and realize that we've wasted our best years in dead-end miserable jobs and just being unhappy in general. If we don't do it now I don't know if we ever will- once the kids start school we'll be even more reluctant to uproot them so if we're going to do it we need to do it soon. But at the same time, I don't want to take an unreasonable gamble either.
Would you consider it?
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Re: Woud you move under these conditions?
No I wouldn't.
Without having a secure job, place to live, No way. I understand the need and want for more quality time but just getting up and going and then possibly just coming back if things don't work out....that's all easier said than done. Especially with children.
I'd work on making sure I have a job and place to live waiting for me before I even considered it. Even if someone is offering you a place to stay, you don't know how that may or may not work out.
Wow, that's a tough one. The job thing would make me really nervous, but the rest sounds good. IDK. Would you have enough savings to cover moving out there and moving back just in case?
Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
"Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
The only thing that would make me freak out is the no job. However, you have a cushion to support your family and have a place to live.
if you and your husband both feel like this would be a good move, then I would go for it.
Liam is 5!
Absolutely. I sometimes still want to do it, before the kids are too old and need more stability in their schooling. H is super cautious, though. The whole concept of throwing away stability for adventure/change in lifestyle is beyond strange to him.
With the current economy and job market, and the indication from what you're describing that you'd be moving to a higher COL area, no I wouldn't.
We just did the cross-country move a year ago for DH's job, and then he was laid off 15 months into the job. We only knew one person here (close family), and I must admit it's been a lonely year, and exhausting trying to find new housing, friends, preschools, doctors, etc, etc. I miss our friends/family.
If at least one person had a job secured, then I'd be more likely to say go for it. But finding a job for most people in most fields is a bit trickier right now ... 6 months goes by very quickly and moving is expensive!
No, we couldn't stay here because we would need to sell our home to facilitate the move. We're actually thinking it would be easier while the kids are younger, it seems like the older they get the harder it would be to do.
BTW, we're talking about Austin. We have a friend with a rental who has been BEGGING us to move there for years and she's so desperate to have us closer that she's offered to let stay rent-free for as long as necessary. She's the only person I know there, but she's pretty much like a sister. Her partner works in the same industry as dh and could send a good amount of work dh's way pretty much right away.
Oh, what the heck... go for it
Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
"Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
"but you would have to leave behind a very large support network of friends and family."
I didn't get past this as everything else is a moot point for me. That's a dealbreaker and I could not leave family. Friends -- yes. I could always make new friends. Family --- nope.
Ditto! I just hope you ar prepared for how hot it gets here. I'm not a fan but I have learned to live with it!
Liam is 5!
I'm surprised by the responses. What's the worse that could happen?
Well, I guess I'm not that surprised. H thinks I'm crazy whenever I bring up things like moving overseas for a year and live off our savings and odd jobs, or both of us becoming contractors so we can spend the summer just trekking around the country in an RV. My question to him is always, what's the worse that could happen? We both have secure support networks of family, and if things turned out really bad (but again, how bad could it get?), we could always move in with one of them for while. Both our parentals would be thrilled to have us live with them. OK... I guess living with either of our parents would be the worse that could happen. But we (and you) would not be living on the streets and eating out of garbage cans or something.
Do the benefit/risk analysis. The potential benefits are obviously substantial, and the risks are not that bad. I think once the kids are older and pickier, you could never do this again. I say go for it.
Yeesh, Austin is not that hot! It's a beautiful city. I think you'd love it. Everyone I know who has moved there never wants to leave. My best friend and my brother live there, and they are absolutely in love with it! You'll love the laidback culture.
If I didn't detest Longhorns so much, we'd consider it.
This....as long as the friend isn't too needy...the fact that she is begging you to move there worries me. But if thats not the case then go! Good luck!
L-R: Liam (7), Eimhin (6) and Fionn (4)! (Irish names)
Too busy to update the pics for now ...
Austin is a great city.
I'd do it. I also know where you live, and I can't imagine staying there - I don't know how people do it (and that's not just my Boilermaker bias talking - I couldn't live in WL either). My brother and SIL live there, have dead end jobs they hate, and for the life of me I can't figure out why they don't leave.
We moved 6 hours this past fall, but for a job opportunity. I don't regret it. I'd do it again. Yes, it's been lonely, but the job has been fantastic for MH, and I think we're going to like it here. Really, the worst that can happen is that we hate it and look for another job and move back, you know? Which is what I said to him when he took it.
Maybe a little needy, LOL. Maybe lonely is a better word. She's desperate for kids but hasn't been able to have any. She's an only child and doesn't have any siblings to give her nieces/nephews either. More than anything she wants to have my kids closer to her so that she could be a surrogate favorite aunt and spoil them like crazy.
Ugh, yeah. That's one other issue. We would have to bring her, but not right away. There's someone she could stay with here for a few months and she'd have to join us once we had a place set-up for her. We're thinking that once we get settled we'd find her a very small studio apartment nearby, but we are 100% done with her living WITH us.
We've stayed here for so long because we have such an awesome community of friends and a wonderful support network. I would be so very sad to leave that all behind and that's really what has kept us here. It would take us many years to build that same sense of community in a new location and that scares me.
I would be quite happy to live here the rest of my life if there were actually decent jobs/opportunities but that's unlikely to ever happen for us. If you're a professor with tenure you've got it made here, but if you're not in academia then there's very little opportunity for a decent living.
that does make sense. The weird thing w/ my brother and SIL is that her family is there (from there even), but they aren't much support for them. My parents (not so much anymore due to a falling out) and my brother's mom (we have the same dad) seemed to do a lot more for them, but they all live in Louisville so they have to drive there to help. I don't know, I'll never understand it probably. For awhile they were going to move to Louisville but I don't know what happened w/ that.
I hope whatever you decide works out for you!
I'm late, but DON'T GO!!!!!! lol.
I would definitely pack up and go. If I could win the lottery to pay off everything (school loans particularly) and sell the house (with 40K in my pocket or so)....we'd be off in a flash. Since DH has a trade, he can do side work no problem, so he could jump into that and maybe just go on his own rather than joining a contractor.