shower guest list — The Bump
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shower guest list

Anyone getting heck from people about the number of guests on your shower invite list? 

My husband and I came up with 90, but 31 of them are children, and some are even couples (it's Jack and Jill).  So in reality that's about 40 families.  The poeople giving us crap aren't even the people throwing the shower and paying for it.  I have cousins calling me selfish and greedy for gifts, but with my DH's family, my mom's family, my dad's family and my step mom's family, the number just went up and up.  We hardly even invited many friends because we didn't want to hit the 100 mark.

Now I know that chances are, many people won't be able to make it, so I don't even think the number is too crazy.

Right now I just feel like telling the complainers to shove it.

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Re: shower guest list

  • If the people who are hosting are OK with it, then so be it. However, even with big families planning a shower for 90 can be tough. I would have no idea on where to start with a venue for that many.
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  • We have large families and ours would have been around that mark (also co-ed and with kids), so we divided it into two showers - my cousin is hosting one for my family, and DH's sister is hosting one for his family. Not sure if that's an option for you or not.
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  • I am getting crap about it too. We have about 120 people invited, not including kids! My mother is one of ten kids and I have a HUGE family. Like you, it is not the people paying for it who is complaining. I have come to the realization that you are never going to make everyone happy, so why try? If you are okay with the number, then that's all that matters. You only get one baby shower!
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  • You know what?! They CAN shove it! I can understand if the hosts were bothered by this, but your cousins? All you have to do is remind them they do not have to participate in the shower if they're that bothered by it;)
  • I think if the hosts of the shower are fine, ignore the others.  That said, I got a giggle out of this.  We don't have many family members nearby.  That plus a few friends and my guest list will be around 20! :)
  • As long as the people throwing it don't have any problems, who cares?  And since you have so many family members, I assume showers with lots of people are the norm? 

    The only thing I can say is that it does seem like a lot of people to have at one shower.  If I was at a shower like that I might be a little annoyed since although I made an effort to go to the shower and buy a gift, the mommy-to-be didn't have much time to talk to each guest and have it seem like it was really important for each person to be there. 

  • My husband and I ran into this a bit with my sister, when I mentioned how many people we were considering inviting- she is hosting it. We opted to allow others to host secondary showers- but aren't really sharing that with her. This way the showers are small and intimate and no one feels the burden to host all of our friends and family. Besides, if people can't make it to one of the showers, I can gently share that there is another one coming up that might fit into their schedule better. I feel this is more considerate of everyone's busy lives, and allows for everyone to participate in the fun. My husband and I feel it is more about intimacy and having time to mingle with everyone- and not about the gifts...people that think we are being greedy are just missing the point.

    ENJOY your big family and many friends :) You must be a joy to be around :)

  • You can't please everyone. EVER. If the host are fine with it then it is really nobody else's business.

    I bet the people complaining are somewhat jealous of the attention you are getting. Next time someone complains just smile & say - "The number of people invited seems to be an issue for you can you tell me why?" or "Why does my guest list bother you so much?" If they bring up the whole being gift hungry you can always say - "We want people to come celebrate with us. Presents are welcomed but by no means required."

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