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Parenting after 35
So sad...
My 14 y.o. niece's best friend in the whole wide world committed suicide. Her mother found her hanging from her light fixture with her bed sheet. She and her mom had argued earlier in the day about doing the dishes, and her mom took her cell phone away- typical "mom vs. teenage girl" stuff. We don't know what might have been bothering her, or if there was any recent drama re: school, boyfriend, etc., but the mom is just beside herself with grief. The mom is also a coworker of mine (school social worker, no less) and my heart just breaks for her. She is blaming herself and said that were it not for her 16 y.o. son, she would kill herself. I know it's just the grief talking. We had no signs, no clues, nothing. She and her husband and son are just devastated. I had to leave work today when I found out. I went to see my niece and she is just torn up. I can't stop thinking about this in particular: what if she was angry/upset enough to do this, then changed her mind at the last second and just couldn't free herself from the sheet? Ohhhhh, my heart is just broken...
Sorry this is so long, just felt the need to get it out there. Please send up a prayer for Adrienne and those she left behind to grieve. And hug your babies (big and small) extra tight.
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Re: So sad...
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Oh Richelle, my heart aches for that family, suicide is such an awful horror for a family to have to go through and especially more so when it's such a young person - I am so, so sorry for the grief your family is going through as well. Prayers going all around for peace {{HUGS}}
My heart breaks for the family. Someone that age just doesn't understand the permanence of death or the devastation it leaves behind. They have done studies that show young adults just don't think about the consequences of their actions.
My cousin committed suicide two years ago and his sister attempted it a short while ago. It just tears up the family and friends left behind.
That is so sad. That family will always have that scar tissue even after the years have healed the wound. If you are friends with the family, especially the mother, my suggestion is do not be afraid to talk to her about it as often as she needs. People treat the mothers (and spouses) of suicide victims a little like lepers.
My cousin killed himself at almost 16, when I was almost 15. His mother relied heavily on me afterward because she did not know who else to talk to about it (and apparently the day before he came visit me, but I was not home). All of us cousins were very close and as a result many of my us struggled with suicidal ideations for many years afterward. One of my cousins is still in and out of mental health facilities to this day for suicidal ideations. I think that if he had realized what it would do to all of us that he loved and knew loved him back, he would not have done it. I think that he just wanted *his* pain to stop without thinking about the life long pain he would be inflicting.
Ditto this. I, too, have way too much experience with dealing with suicides. Talk and talk and then talk some more. Really try to keep the communication open with your niece. Bring it up. People are scared to bring it up because they think that they'll upset them if they aren't thinking about it. Trust me - they are already thinking about it. Your niece won't have many times over the next six months when she isn't constantly thinking about her friend.
Hugs to you and the family and the whole community.
How sad.
Thoughts and prayers to your neice, and that poor family.
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