He wants more time!

jpowell3 · March 2010

For all the newbies on here I'll give a little back story.

My ex has been unemployed for 4 years, we split up about 2 1/2 yrs ago. He has some mental health issues & because of this he moved to Florida to his parents house. (Or it was because I quit taking care of him & he had no one else.....just saying!) Anyways he obviously has not paid child support ever. He enrolled in school when he got to Florida & we agreed that I will let him got o school full time and once he graduates then I will start receiving child support. 500$/month. I even agreed that I will NOT ask for back support!! His program was suppose to be 18 months but he decided to take some extra courses so he can be certified to work anywhere.....sigh. Ok, I said I'll hold off a bit longer. I want him to get a good paying job that can support himself & his sons (he has full custody of 1 from a relationship prior to me). I want him to move on with his life, his parents suck big time & I know it is stressful living at their house.

I have told him NO MORE extentions. This fall I am expecting him to get a job & start helping out. Well....I just got an e-mail from him stating he got accepted to the Univ. of FL for a 4 year program & he is really excited. In his words "This is a big thing for me. I want to be the best that I can be for my sons and I want them to have a wealthy future to look foward to as well."

Umm....that's great superstar, but I don't plan on working 2 jobs forever, infact I'm quitting at the end of this month. I'm just too exhausted and I don't like getting home 45 min before ds's bedtime. (yes, it is only 3 days a week, but I shouldn't have to do this) If you want to continue your education fine, go ahead, but do it on your own time. This has nothing to do with the fact that there is a baby on the way, but more of the fact that he hasn't spent one dime on ds in 4 years!!! I will not wait any longer. Dh has respectively held his tongue but I know this bothers him too. It's time for him to man up. I replied with something like "that's fine but just so you know come August or September I plan on going to the child support office to have payments garnished from your paycheck. I suggest you have a job by then." At this point he is taking advantage of my generosity. He thinks it is "unfair" that he has to pay. He should come on here & see how much you guys pay! He will see that 500$/month really isn't much to bi!ch about. I'm sick of his procrastinating yet I have a hard time thinking he will go to jail if he doesn't pay. That situation is good for no one.

angelnumber8 · March 2010

Why can't he work and go to school just like everyone else.I'd make him pay now.

DREWLILY · March 2010

Don't expect any reasonable responses from him. That fool would stay in school as long as he could if it got him out of paying CS. Stick to your guns and go to the child support office in the fall. School isn't a reason to not support your kids financially.

hmills520 · March 2010

Honestly, I would go to the CS office now and get things rolling. Going to school isn't an excuse and he should be grateful you have agreed to this for so long. He can get a job and go to school just like every other adult does.

Phantomgirl · March 2010

You helped create the monster! That is absurd, go to the CS office and stop playing nice while killing yourself at the same time. If you're working two jobs so he can go to school, you are effectively supporting him. STOP.

luckyangel · March 2010

I worked 40+ hours a week and did 19 credit hours per semester to get a specialized degree. It didn't kill me, it wont kill him. I say go for support and he will have to figure out how to pay it on his end.

jpowell3 · March 2010

I am well aware I helped create this monster which is why I don't complain often. I awknowlege it is my fault, but at the same time with no GED and with the economy the way it is I understand it is hard to get a job. There are so many other more qualified applicants than him. I felt like if I didn't give him this opportunity then he would forever be stuck in this rut. He would be working min wage jobs the rest of his life & that doesn't help out ds, myself or him very much. If he can't move up & on after this then that is his own damn fault. I tried the best I could & he can live in poverty if he chooses then.

Phantomgirl · March 2010

Its nice to be nice, but he should be contributing something. I do understand your thinking on it, but enough is enough already.

J+R · March 2010

jpowell3:
at the same time with no GED and with the economy the way it is I understand it is hard to get a job. .

How is he "getting into a gret 4 year program at Univ of FL" with no GED or anything? I wouldnt believe that for a second...