Autism/PDD - Adjusting to new baby?

Sheila92003 · February 2010

My DS has PDD. My DH and I have been TTC since November. If one of your children is Autistic, and he/she has a younger sibling, how did he/she adjust to the new arrival? How did you prepare him/her for the new baby? We're not pregnant yet, but I am wondering about other families experiences in this area. Thank you in advance.

lvmomjbj · February 2010

Hi! I just gave birth to our first DD and both my boys have autism. My oldest Jacob, really took a liking to her right away. No jealousy and actually wants to be by her side all the time. Anytime she cries, he's there and really looks out for her. My youngest son (who is on the higher side of the spectrum) doesnt really acknowledge her. He might look over at her for a few seconds every so often but definitely does not interact with her. He rarely even acknowledges that she's there.Obviously, two VERY different outcomes. I think it's like with any child depending on how close they are to the parents.

MikesGirl0605 · February 2010

We got very lucky. From the very beginning we started preparing our ds with pdd-nos about becoming a big brother. When my body started to change we told him their was a baby in mommy's belly and told him he had a big job in helping take care of him. We would shower him with love whenever he'd touch my belly or kiss it. Actually, he named his little brother. my dh were talking about baby names and ds randomly walked up to my belly and said "baby Noah". . . so it stuck. (that was one of the names we were discussing.) We have him help us with his care too. He gets the diapers/ wipes, and is VERY affectionate and loving. He would want to hold the baby for hours on end snuggling. Now that the baby is older and more active he is even helping him learn to walk by holding his hands and guiding him. Their bond is amazing. I honestly think having our second ds has helped my oldest in ways I never could have. Each kid is different, but it has been incredible blessing for us to watch. Good Luck to you!

skittles_123 · March 2010

My ds was very young when I was pg, so there wasn't much preparation I could do for him that would make sense. My kids were only 2 yrs 16 days apart. Once dd got her, my ds did beautifully with her. He was always checking her out. One time, she was asleep as an infant in her pack n play in the family room, while we were sitting down eating lunch in the next room. DS gets up and runs into see her again, I run after him to bring him back into eat lunch, so he wouldn't wake her, and dd was blue. We had to do the heimlich, as she had choked on her undiagnosed acid reflux at the time. She is fine, completely typical and suffered no brain damage from it. But that curiousity and excitement, that was starting to rag on my nerves because all he wanted to do was see her, saved her life.

But, just to follow on Auntie's point. My dd is starting to do things, say things, that I didn't even know kids her age did and say. Lately, my dd has been answering "yes" to questions, and using the word "too" that my ds just accomplished 3-4 months ago. We were so excited about ds accomplishing those things. When my dd said it for the first time it was a bittersweet realization of just how far behind ds is.

W&J'sMommy · March 2010

My DS had no problem adjusting when DD was born, although he was only 17 months, so that may have helped. He knew there was a baby in my belly but that is about it. MH was home for the first 2 weeks and he spent lots of time with DS, doing special things, I think that helped too.

This time DS is more interested and I've been talking the baby up alot. He likes looking at the pictures of babies in my pregnancy books so I got him a children's book about pregnancy and babies that he enjoys reading. MH will be home again for the first 2 weeks then my mom will be here for 2 weeks to care for the older kids, which will hopefully head off behavior issues/resentment.

JenGK · March 2010

I just got off the phone with Zach's possible SN teacher for next year, and she suggested getting a cheap baby doll and giving it to Zach after the baby is born so that he can do what I do with the baby to "his" baby -- giving it a bath, feeding, etc. Now, I don't know how well this is going to work because Zach isn't much of a baby doll type kid or really into pretend play, but I'm willing to give anything a shot. I think I'll get him a cheap stroller too (he loves pushing strollers) so that he can push his baby when we take walks around the neighborhood.

Dory904 · March 2010

-auntie-:
Going forward, it's a sad day when the younger sib bypasses the older one developmentally; this can be a cause for some battles in the family when a younger sib realizes they have the burden of an odd older brother without any of the perks and the older brother realizes he isn't as successful socially or in terms of independence as the younger sib. And then there's the whole following a special needs sibling in school.

I'm sad realizing this day will be coming sooner than I want it too

DS was/is great with his little brother. Half the time he could care less he's there, the other time he actually plays with him a little.

JenGK · March 2010

-auntie-:
LMAO. My son would never have gone for a baby doll in his stroller. That place of honor was reserved for his G gauge locomotives. This was pre-dx. I just thought it was quirky.

Funny, we'll probably end up with trains in our stroller, too. At the recommendation of friends of typical kids, I've tried to see if he is at all interested in a doll at the toy store. He immediately throws it down and runs for Thomas.

Autism/PDD - Adjusting to new baby?

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