WDYD re: discipline in public (grocery store, etc.)?

CD+AL · February 2010

Tonight's trip to the grocery store was an absolute train wreck. It started out fine, but once it started going downhill, it deteriorated fast. DS was out and out challenging me to see what I'd do, if anything, so I had to do something. Mostly he was hitting me, which is 110% not acceptable, and he knows it.

At home, this would be an automatic time-out, but I honestly couldn't figure out how to make that work at the store. 1) Where would I do it? 2) Time-outs usually involve really pathetic sobbing, which I wouldn't want to subject the general population to having to deal with. I'd like to be able to just haul him out to the car and go home, but we live too far from town to make it realistic to just leave without our groceries and come back the next day.

Usually, DH goes with me when we're doing a big shopping trip, so he can take DS out to the car to sit if necessary. However, he didn't go tonight, so I was on my own. I seriously think DS knew that I couldn't really do a time-out and wanted to see how I'd handle the situation. The crappy thing is that he won (sort of), and I hate that he got the best of me. One way or another, it WILL NOT happen again like it did tonight. I have to have a plan.

So, how do you handle discipline in public, especially when you're on your own w/DC and can't just leave?

Edit: Our shopping trip was also at the same time and followed the same routine as it always does, so I don't think it was a matter of being overly tired (although it did become an issue b/c the trip was stretched out with all the behavioral issues). I honestly think he was just challenging me.

lep712 · February 2010

This isn't a great answer, but I just try to distract majorly or give her something I wouldn't normally give her to keep her happy through the trip. Like I said, not a great answer, but I try to keep the peace in a public place. The grocery store is actually one of the most challenging places as she doesn't want to sit still, so I typically bring a sucker or get her a free shopping balloon from the floral department. One of these usually manages to keep her happy the whole time.

rodgersonmumma · February 2010

First I try to keep DS distracted as much as possible, and keep him involoved and let him 'help'. Like "oh should we get the big box of raisin bran or the little one?" and then I let him put it in the cart. If for whatever reason he has a melt down because he wants something he cant have (this has happend a few times) I warn him that he is going to have to leave the store if he keeps it up, and then I move on and try to distract him with something else. If the melt down continues, I leave my cart right there and bring him to the car and bring him home. I have only had to do this twice, and he didnt like it. Now when I say "you need to behave or we are going to leave" He doesnt take it lightly, and he usually smartens up pretty fast. I know its kind of a PITA to just leave your groceries there, as you are obviously shopping becasue you need them, but I have always found that if I am consistant and follow through with the punishment then he understands and the bad behavior ends.

Rose.9.6.03 · February 2010

I take my girls to the bathroom for time outs when I'm at the grocery store. It's a PITA, but discipline issues have to be addressed even if it's inconvenient or uncomfortable for the parent.

Also, if there are any discipline issues, my girls know they won't get stickers in the checkout line. So that's another incentive for them to behave.

I don't know if going in the morning is an option for you, but I know that my girls are always about 100xs better when we grocery shop in the morning rather than at night. Even if they are well-rested, they just seem to be a lot more wired at the end of the day.

rodgersonmumma · February 2010

Oh, and just as a add on, it works for me that if i absolutely can not leave the public place that Im at, and I need to dicipline my child, I bring him into the bathroom and dicipline/ speak to him in there. It is much more private and it removes him from whatever situation was causing the problem to begin with.

shouldbworkin · February 2010

I try to redirect. If that doesn't work, I give them their choice, behave or we leave. If that doesn't help, I follow through even if that means leaving a full cart of groceries at the customer service area. Usually, you just have to follow through once and they get the idea next time.

Mrs.Saxy · February 2010

when we go shopping I have a snack cup, a drink cup, a book, and a car/truck.

that usually keeps him satisified. That said, I have completed a shopping trip with a crying, screaming toddler. I let him cry it out so much that he stops once he realizes I'm not paying attention to him. Same with strapping him in the cart. He hates it for about 4 minutes then he realizes he can't do anything about it so he stops sobbing.

If I have to listen to DS crying so I can shop, well, so can the customers, except I have to go home with him...lol. I hate to say it, but when I cater to DS his behavior gets worse, so I just grin and bear it and he gets the picture.

hth.

Pesky · February 2010

I have taken her out to the car before and just sat there while she was in time out. Once the time out was over, I calmly asked if she was ready to be nice and go into the store and help mommy and she whimpered "yes." Like pps, I keep a toy or two and some snacks and water with us. I also try to involve DD in my shopping ("do these lemons look good? I think so too. Why don't you take these over and put them in the cart? and now let's go find potatoes!"). It works. I still can't shop with her for more than 30 minutes -- that's about the extent of her interest. She also knows if she is good mommy is a pushover for the kid-sized frosty or her "special" yogurt (wallaby brand).

mrstarawalsh · February 2010

I try to keep DS distracted as much as possible and let him be involved in the shopping process (grabbing things off the shelves, etc.) If he acts out he is disciplined right there. First he will lose his privledge to walk so he gets a time out in the cart strapped in. If I have to I'll take him to the bathroom. Although, frankly, its never come to that.

kaykee · February 2010

My daughter did this yesterday. A huge screaming fit right in the middle of the store. And you know people are staring. It's so embarrassing. I tried talking to her and reasoning with you (which didn't work). So then I just ignored her. Leaving wasn't an option because we too live too far away to just come back later. So I let her scream and carry on and tried to get my shopping done as quickly as possible. And I let her know that she isn't getting ANY treats that day, even later if we go somewhere else. And I have to stick to that. I now will never roll my eyes at another screaming toddler. I will smile, sympathetically to the parent, because I have been there, and probably will be again.

jsugrin · March 2010

I've got a couple of ideas one I see nothing wrong with just putting him on the floor in time out. Really are people going to be pissed off that you are actually taking care of your unruly child or happy to see a parent that is actually addressing an issue.

2nd since it sounds like shopping is usually a big project I would make some pictures of typical objects and get him involved. Use some clip art and put them on a ring, crackers, apple, squash, pizza, bread, whatever you usually get and have him look for them. Every item he spots and matches to his chain he gets to pick up and put in the cart.

WDYD re: discipline in public (grocery store, etc.)?

Re: WDYD re: discipline in public (grocery store, etc.)?

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