Whether or not to invite work friends... — The Bump
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Whether or not to invite work friends...

My family is throwing me a baby shower and I am wondering if I should invite the people at my work.  I am a Graduate Assistant at a small college and am close with most of the staff and faculty in my office.  There are a couple I don't work with that closely and would feel odd inviting them, but also would feel weired excluding them.  I am also unsure whether the office will plan to throw me a separate, small shower.  If they did, it would probably be at the end of the semester, but my shower is scheduled for early June, so it would be too late to send out invites to that shower.  I don't want to assume anything and am just not sure how to proceed.  Any suggestions?

Re: Whether or not to invite work friends...

  • What do you mean by close with?  If you don't socially interact with them outside of work, I wouldn't invite them to a not-at-work shower.  Generally, I'd only invite those you do socialize without outside of work, unless it literally only leaves 1-2 people 'out' of a large group (I'd invite those along).  You could also verbally invite your close friends there before handing them a formal invite, they may mention they are planning an office one and, if they do, you can ask if they'd still like to come to other.

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  • At this point you should wait.  Its far too early to be worrying about it. 
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  • I am leaning towards not inviting them. I like your advice, I don't really socialize with them outside of work.  What threw me off is that they are all really excited for me and always asking how I am doing.  It is the Education Dept, so they are all really into children to begin with. Thanks!
  • I would wait until later to see if they'd throw you a shower at work. If they do, you shouldn't invite them to your home one because they may pitch in for a group gift. I have a few women at work who have actually asked when the shower was going to be, and a couple who said, please send me an invite--I'd love to come. So I may invite those individual to my home shower because a lot of my friends I met through work anyways.
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  • image mcs7505:
    What threw me off is that they are all really excited for me and always asking how I am doing. 
    So?  I'm happy for people all the time who get married or have babies and I dont expect to be invited to anything!   Seriously.  Think about it.  Big life events are going to bring on excitement.  You simply can't invite everyone who expresses some degree of excitement for you!
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  • I was in this situation.  I declined an invitation for a work shower (the person who was throwing it kinda made me feel bad that I do not have a lot of friends from work).  Instead, I invited a select group of work people that I am close to to a shower that a friend is throwing.  I rather be surrounded by people who I really want to be there celebrating with me (lesson learned from wedding Big Smile).

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  • I'm in a similar boat! My office is very close while at work and many of us commute together, but I've opted not to invite them. They do through showers here at work from time to time, and it makes it easy on everyone that they don't have to feel obligated to attend. Measure of closeness in friendship is hard to measure in the work place, so its best to leave it comfortable for everyone. If they wish to throw a shower- they very well can. If not, that is okay too.

     I find it is best to keep family/close friend showers separate from coworker type of showers as the level of intimacy is SO different and the party leans a more casual direction with coworkers. So, rest easy. I doubt anyone would feel let down if you don't invite them.

     I hope you have a great celebration!

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