Single Parents
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How do u do it?
I want to leave dh, I am so miserable with him. But I am paralyzed by fear right now. I am so scared how I will manage, financially, emotionally, etc. I do have family support, which would help. And then the thought of him having shared custody and dd not being with me for days, breaks my heart. I feel like I cant do it.
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Re: How do u do it?
Deciding whether to leave, and sticking to whichever decision you make, is extremely hard. Don't rush the decision unless you are in an unsafe situation, it reduces the doubt and regrets later. Start a journal or how you feel each day, and things tugging on you to stay or leave. Things are clearer on paper. Consider therapy, separately, or together.
Start talking to your support system - what do they think? What will your life be like in the short term if you do leave? What are your long term goals? Make copies of things like credit card statements/loan papers/mortgage/bank accounts/marriage certificate/social security number/his relatives' and friend's addresses and phone numbers. Locate a women's bar association who can find you a pro bono lawyer, or save for an attorney. The important quality in an attorney is comfort level and trust. The goal of copying the documents and identifying resources is to gather information so that you do not feel like the victim. You are choosing your future, no matter which decision you make.
If you do leave, you will make it. There is no greater inspiration to make something work than having no other acceptable option.
Best of luck.
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Honestly, being a single parent is the hardest thing I have ever done. Family support is crucial to survival, I don't know how I would do it without them. If you are miserable with your husband, don't let the fear stop you from doing what you feel is right. It will be scary and hard at first, but you and your dd will both adjust. It is not worth being in an unhappy marriage, when you could be happy on your own. You can do it. If you feel that leaving your husband will be the best thing for you, you can do it!
I can't help you as far as shared custody, my son's father is not in the picture at all. As hard as it was to leave him, it was even harder being with him. Just remember you are strong and everything will be okay.