If your parents live far away

LCB34 · March 2010

My parents are a 3 hour plane ride away from us (I would imagine it is like 16-18 hours driving). And, I really want them here when the baby is born. Obviously, it isn't feasible for them to buy a plane ticket when I go into labor as that would be way too expensive.

Are y'all just having them come out close to your due date? Not worrying about it? Something else?

I just get really sad when I think my mom and dad won't be here to meet their newest grandchild right away.

FYI this isn't an issue with my ILs as they are a 6 hour drive away - I figure we will just call when I go into labor and they will head out.

ETA: My mom does not work - so her schedule is wide open. It is my Dad that would have scheduling problems given the nature of his job.

Daisygirl613 · March 2010

w/ ds, we had our inlaws come out a few weeks after he was born. you are right, unless you schedule it (and still THAT isn't set in stone) you can't predict when to get the flight down.

a girl on my local board talked about getting a plane ticket and trip insurance so if you have a last minute change it won't cost. i'm not sure how that works tho...

Aloe0l · March 2010

Neither my parents or my ILs live nearby. My mom is a pediatrician, so, even if she wanted, she couldn't leave her job at the drop of a hat. She contemplated coming out around my due date, but, if I'm late, she'll end up having to leave before the kid is born. Plus, I don't plan on taking any time off work until I go into labor, so she'd just be sitting around the house doing nothing most likely.

So, she's just going to wait and see when she can make it after I go into labor. It would be nice if she could be here, but, it just isn't feasible.

megdrew1218 · March 2010

I'm not in the same situation, but I would rather them come out when they know for sure the baby is going to be here. What if you deliver a week after your due date and your parents are just sitting around? Unless they are retired, they may not have the time to take off work. But then again, you could go a week early and they wouldn't see your baby until he/she is 2 weeks old. It's a catch 22.

618mom22boys · March 2010

That sucks! And in your situation is kind of hard. I know in a post below you said you will most likely deliver early. And of course there is no telling how early.

I guess it would depend on how much time your mom could be with you. I would have her come at least 2 weeks early.

VampyAuthor · March 2010

My family is all still in Ohio. Here at the beginning of April they're all driving (my mom, dad, aunt, cousin and grandma) it's about a 20+ hour drive. They're taking two cars. They all want to be here for her birth and I want them here. But, I left it up to them on if they would come out or not. Once they get here they're all staying at our house.

nabiasi · March 2010

I've thought about this... I am really not sure how we're going to handle it. My parents are in FL - I'm in NY.. so same idea.. they are about 3 hrs by plane. I guess I keep thinking that somehow towards the end I'll have a better idea of how I'm progressing that they will miraculously make it up here with enough time. I really don't think that's realistic though!

So .. I'm no help.. but I do feel your pain!

amanda31H · March 2010

My good friend just had her baby and her parents lived accross the country. She called her Mom when she went into labor, and she bought a ticket for the next day and flew in. She was at the hospital an hour after the baby was born. Her Dad didn't fly out until later on.

Sometimes it's not as expensive as you think. Plus it might be worth the extra $200 to them!

nopegoat · March 2010

My mom is actually coming to stay with me for like a month or two so she will already be here. I really want her here for the birth and to help with our dogs and all. As for everybody else we will probably just call them and let them know what's going on!

kimmyt09 · March 2010

I'm in CA and my immediate family is in NY.. I believe my mom is coming out a week or 2 before my due date and just waiting it out with me. My dad will be able to jump on a plane right away so I'm guessing thats what he'll do. I THOUGHT my in-laws were coming a week or 2 after, then hubs informs my FIL took the week off starting the day after the EDD. Shoot me. My mom and his mom don't get along, but thats a whole other issue..

LCB34 · March 2010

kimmyt09:
I'm in CA and my immediate family is in NY.. I believe my mom is coming out a week or 2 before my due date and just waiting it out with me. My dad will be able to jump on a plane right away so I'm guessing thats what he'll do. I THOUGHT my in-laws were coming a week or 2 after, then hubs informs my FIL took the week off starting the day after the EDD. Shoot me. My mom and his mom don't get along, but thats a whole other issue..

I am worried about mother MIL thing too. My MIL informed me that she has taken the whole month of Sept off to be out here with us. Um, no thank you. I will kill you if you are trying to tell me how to parent my baby for a solid month. Not to mention my mom trumps you and will hurt you too. UGH.

MrsAmyB · March 2010

I would prefer a 2-3 hour plane ride over a 7 hours drive. My parents have a 7 hour drive to get here and no airport nearby to get them here faster.

Last time, I let my mom know I was being induced and she headed over.

K.a.T.e · March 2010

My parents live half way across the country - I don't have any great expectations for them to arrive moments after LO is delivered.

I'm due 8.13, they plan on coming down to see us at the end of August.

Tofumonkey · March 2010

Our parents are a good 12 hour plane ride away from us, so my parents are planning to come out for a month with our due date in the middle, and DH's mother is planning to come out about 2 weeks after my due date.

We're then planning to take the twins home for Christmas so they can meet all of the rest of our families.

morrigan08 · March 2010

Was talking to my mom about this earlier. They are going to come out a week or so afterwards so we have time alone with the little one and don't get bombarded by visitors.

amiserip · March 2010

My parents live in TX and we live in MO. I'm due July 14, but who knows when I'll actually go into labor. What I was thinking was just calling her when I do go into labor and she'll fly out as soon as possible. But, I'm sure that will be a more expensive plane ticket since it will be bought at the last minute. Both my parents own their own businesses so it won't be a problem with scheduling. Not sure how else to do this. No one else in my family has had a baby living so far from their hometown.

CAMbaby10 · March 2010

My parents are overseas and my IL's are about a 4-hour plane ride away. So all of them are planning their trips for after the baby is born. I really don't want them to estimate when I am due to try to be there when the baby is born since they would risk having to leave before seeing LO if I go over.

For us, it really isn't a big deal - it's just how it is. They will see the baby soon after it is born (weeks).

historychick79 · March 2010

My mom and stepdad live 14hrs by driving. They insist they want us to call when I'm in labor so they can start the drive and be there right about delivery time (depending on what LO decides to do), and then spend 1-2wks living with us ( Indifferent

) so they can see their grandchild and 'help' out. DH and I are determined to convince them to wait a few weeks when DH returns to work, so that we have set up some kind of routine and I can actually use the help for a few days; but definitely don't want houseguests for more than a week. I'm sort of anticipating WWIII when this conversation is held.

Kelly1109 · March 2010

Well my IL's live about a 4 hour plane ride away in Oregon. They are retired so I am pretty sure they'll come out here for at least a month (that's what they do normally as they have 3 kids in the city) with the due date being in the middle. My MIL says that I should have a mom around during this time (I lost my mom 5 years ago) and wants to be here for me which is very sweet. Although if they stay with us for 4 straight weeks, I might be thinking differently!

My dad just mentioned driving out sometime this summer. We're not close at all so honestly would be shocked if he actually did come out.

Mrs.HisOnly · March 2010

I was raised by my grandparents and my great-grandmother always lived with us. I had a REALLY tight relationship with her. So naturally, now that I'm having my own baby, I want him to have a close relationship wtih him great-grandparents as long as possible so I understand that super sad feeling.

That being said, when I found out I was pregnant I advised them to start planning their time down here. They'll be coming down about a week or 2 before my due date and they'll be here for at least a month.

afwife08 · March 2010

My mom is going to drive up here about 10 days before my due date. It's really important to me that she is here when I got in to labor and she has an open schedule. My dad will probably fly in separately after she is born due to his job.

simplyreel · March 2010

My parents live in Canada, I live in South Georgia. It's a 23 hour drive or a 5 hour plane ride (depending on which connections you make and such). I'm expecting my mum to come a couple of weeks before the due date and spend however long she wants with us. She doesn't work so her schedule is wide open also. My dad would most likely fly in close to my due date (if I don't go early) as he has to work.

kimmyt09 · March 2010

LCB34:
kimmyt09:
I'm in CA and my immediate family is in NY.. I believe my mom is coming out a week or 2 before my due date and just waiting it out with me. My dad will be able to jump on a plane right away so I'm guessing thats what he'll do. I THOUGHT my in-laws were coming a week or 2 after, then hubs informs my FIL took the week off starting the day after the EDD. Shoot me. My mom and his mom don't get along, but thats a whole other issue..
I am worried about mother MIL thing too. My MIL informed me that she has taken the whole month of Sept off to be out here with us. Um, no thank you. I will kill you if you are trying to tell me how to parent my baby for a solid month. Not to mention my mom trumps you and will hurt you too. UGH.

HAHA my thoughts exactly.

argonne · March 2010

MIL is coming in mid-august and staying until after the baby is born. I don't know how I feel about this. She needs to understand that she will be here to help, not hold the baby while I wait on her and clean up her messes. SIL wants to be out here also and I said no. I do not need the added stress of a house full of people, recovery and a newborn thankyouverymuch. Everyone else can visit after a few months.

sunnydoc · March 2010

Our family is spread out from Maine to SW Florida. We're in California, so I think the way it'll work is that my mother will come out close to my due date, father maybe the same (maybe a little after) and the IL's will head out a couple days after. That way, if it's a boy, they'll all be here for the bris.

yukibaby · March 2010

My parents also live far away (10 -15 hr flight depending on connections). When I asked my parents what they wanted to do, they have been advised by other grandparents and parents to fly out after the baby is born. The reasons we have been given are, a) if the baby comes late they'll get less time with their grandchild, (esp if they are still working or have a limited amount of time) b) gives the new parents uninterrupted bonding time with the LO without house guests (yes, we love them and they are wonderful to have around, but they will still be house guests in addition to any other visitors that may want to drop by to give their well wishes) With that in mind, they will be flying up after the LO is born. It's a tough choice but I'm sure that everything will work out for the best.

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