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2nd Trimester
Friends/Family questioning your product choices?
Does anyone else have friends/family that question every product they decide on for their baby or criticize their registry choices, etc???
I'm getting irritated with a certain "friend" - every time I say something about various baby products, she has to question me. It's always "too expensive" and she seems to think half of it is unnecessary. She's driving me crazy. It's not her money, not her child and I don't get why she always has to question everything.
I'm in a wheelchair, she's not. does she not get that some things I've chosen are because they work better for me then a cheaper product? I'd rather pay a little more and be able to USE it rather then be cheap but purchase products I can't use well from a wheelchair? 
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Re: Friends/Family questioning your product choices?
Yup and don't worry it is only the beginning- I am getting opinions on what type of sleepers to get, should I use bunting or swaddle? I also love my mom telling me how the baby needs newborn clothes- most newborns live in diapers and onesies (especially when born in JUNE/JULY!) and newborn clothes typically only go to like 8 pounds!
I also being told what type of bottles to buy (4 different types by 4 different friends/family), what breastfeeding techniques I will need to learn (which is appreciated but really not helpful at this point til after I take a class and learn more about it), crib bumper thoughts, diaper bag opinions, what color to the paint the room, what diapers to buy, and also being told how to lay the baby down to sleep (seriously anyone over 40 has told me on their belly because of "flat heads" ... can we say SIDS anyone?)..
It's getting old- so i just say "i appreciate your thoughts, DH and I haven't decided what we are going to do about that yet and figure when we meet with the pediatrician we will get their thoughts too".
Mom doesn't stop but everyone else does.
I don't get why some people don't "get" it... I've had conversations like this go to the point of "if it's going to be difficult then why didn't you abort" --or--- "have you looked into adoption?"
The difference is products YOU might need aren't what I will need... and some of what you used would be pointless for me. but stuff I need will be pointless and a waste for you.
The fact that I want a stroller AND multiple slings/wraps/mei tai/pouches confuses people. different wearing techniques would be good for different tasks. AND a stroller will be necessary - especially at the doctor when I need a physical exam or Physical Therapy. do they really think I"ll still have a baby in a sling while lying on an exam table?!? but I need a stroller that works well with a wheelchair. I've tried dozens of them at multiple stores. I have to be able to reach the handles without colliding with the rear wheels... yes, UPPA baby vista works well for me, and it's going to be a GIFT from a relative who gets that these things are important for me. plus I'll use it (esp the bassinet) around the house... AND my partner will use it. I'm not the ONLY parent caring for her.
LOL - my sister flipped when I said my girl was going to have a green & brown room. She keeps calling me to tell me I must pick pink OR purple and work it in and that she has to wear these colors to identify her as a girl. My partner is from India. they don't genderize colors there like we do here. We both love green and can make a kickass girls room without pink, thanks!
I'm totally not worried about 0-3 months with a july baby. I'd rather good cloth diapers & covers + onsies then a wardrobe like its winter! then they think I'm crazy for wanting a bathing suit for a newborn. I live near the beach and have a pool at home. I found an SPF 50 bathing suit. they don't see the difference between that and throwing a onesie on her.
oh and I've been warned about the dangers of co-sleeping.
they think my baby is going to take advantage of me her first 6 months then never leave my room. *gasp*
"she'll get hurt without a bumper pad!!!" - well, if she gets tangled in the crib bars she will CRY. If she is suffocating in the bumper OR not getting sufficient air flow chances are we won;t know til its too late. I'm not going to waste money on things like this. I'd rather put that money towards other things...
"glass bottles might break." really, I'd rather a broken bottle, then chemicals in plastics (there's probably plenty more then BPA, phthalates, and PVC that we don't know of yet as "bad"). if a bottle breaks, I'll buy a new one. it's easier then un-doing potential damage from plastics.
"cloth diapers are too time consuming and cost more." I think people don't get the point that there are up-front costs, but long term it will save about 75% of what I would spend on disposables... plus the environmental & health benefits.
...I also have a genetic disease where my child is higher risk for complications from chemical exposure, and I have a high number of SIDS deaths in my family so I'll take what measures I can to reduce the risk of SIDS or setting off/worsening my disease.
This. Or quit talking with her about your selections.
On a side note, my nephew is 7months and has developed very severe flat head, it is completely misshapen and he now has to wear a special helmet (that cost my brother 2k) for 23 hours a day, for 4 months. He wasn't rolling over well, wasn't sitting up or anything and the doctor said its because his head is throwing off his balance...it is so sad. I can't wait till it gets fixed. So while I probably won't lay my babe on her belly, I really haven't figured out how to avoid this yet! So they aren't completely wrong...
My cousin who has two kids asked me first if I would like her opinion on some of my registry items. I told her of course because I didn't have a clue about baby stuff. Some of her points were really helpful and helped me choose different things. Some of the things she said I considered but decided what I picked I liked better.
I'm glad she has never pushed her opinion on me though. It's like she puts it out there and if I agree great if I don't oh well it's my kid.
I've asked for help from some people, but I also rely heavily on product reviews since you get the variety of MANY people that way, not just your friends 2 cents.
One thing I think some people don't comprehend is how different lifestyles and different areas need different stroller systems. if you're in the country and drive everywhere and only take the stroller to the park or mall you won't need the same type as a person in an urban area relying on public transit. several friends took out-of-state peoples advice then the stroller didn't work well for the terrain/type of use and they ended up going through several. I think a lot of advice-givers fail to consider lifestyle and neighborhood differences in general.