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~Sunday Night Confessions~ (flame free)
Since we are starting a new week, and this past week has been pretty sucky for most, I thought a confession would be nice. Remember, no flames :-)
Me:
1. DH and I have been arguing a lot lately and its starting to ware me down. I think he has a bad attitude and he thinks Im extra b*tchy.
2. Dh is telling me DSS may be coming to spend the summer with us. I love him to death, but this is when we were suppose to be jumping into tx again and summr is dh's busy time, working 12 hour days. So I would become full time mommy. I guess its just more scary than anything.
DX: Unexplained IF/possible PCOS
5/5/2010 Surprise BFP!
After 2 miscarriages and many prayers, our angel is here:)
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Re: ~Sunday Night Confessions~ (flame free)
I'm actually not handling my sister's pregnancy well at all. I put up a brave face but I'm literally sick over my jealousy and depression with it. I am thinking of not going to see my family in August because I don't know if I can take seeing her have what I so desperately want.
Background on her: She's 18, no money, moved three times in less than a year, no job and living with her jerk of a boyfriend who has shown MANY abusive signs and is routinely mouthy and rude to me....behind my back. Guess he's not man enough to mouth off to my face.
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." - Henry David Thoreau
formula-feeding, co-napping, sposie-using, baby-wearing, ap-ish mamma!
1. I have been asked to help throw a baby shower for an old friend. I don't want to. It should be my turn to have a baby shower!
2. I'm taking 2 personal days off at work at the end of March to have TI with DH since he'll be out of town. Literally, personal days!
"Smudge's Story - How to Grow a Dandelion" will return soon!
The Dandelion Archive
"If dandelions were hard to grow, they would be most welcome on any lawn."
Mine's kinda lame- but we need milk. MH is always the one that drinks all the milk and doesn't tell me when it's getting low or is gone. I even asked if we need anything when i ran to walgreens- nope.
Now it's late, he's bowling and he expects me to get milk tonight b/c he is bowling. Can you tell this is an ongoing pet peeve in this house? LOL
Started TTC 05.08
Me: Stage II endo, borderline high FSH
DH: perfect
1 lap, 5 IUIs = 4 BFNs and 1 c/p
2 IVFs, 2 FETs = 1 BFN, 1 c/p, 1 ectopic and finally a sticky BFP in May 2011!
1 FET in Aug 2013 = BFP!
H has work training coming up and luckily, it's in Houston so it's a nice excuse to go home and see our families. Except, I don't want to go. I don't want to go home and be around my sister and all her baby daddy drama or be around my ILs, who quite frankly, suck ass.
I know I could stay here but I don't want to miss out on that time with my H either.
Me: PCOS/Amenorrhea DH: Azoospermia due to Y Chromosome Micro Deletion IVF w/ ICSI on hold until further notice
Hope
I've been super b*tchy with DH lately. He's been smoking again and was hiding it from me, even though I can SMELL it. Now that I know, he's just strolling outside to smoke & when he comes back in, he reeks and I'm completely turned off by it. I don't even want to be in the same room with him, never mind hug him, or be close with him.
He keeps saying he's going to quit when I get pregnant, but I'm having a really hard time believing that he'll be able to, if he can't do it now.
I've been off birth control for over 2 years now and were still not pregnant.
We've been actively trying for over 1 1/2 years.
I should be 31 weeks along but I still have an empty ute.
All of this makes me sad no matter what I try to do. I went to Costco today with my dad and his house mate and all the babies and little kids made me sad. The same at church, I saw this little boy maybe about 7 years old and he was hanging all over his dad like he just couldn't get enough of him and I had to fight back tears because I am afraid I'll never be able to see my DH experience that.
I'll I want to do is eat today.
I haven't been posting much and I'm sorry for that....
I've been in a rotten mood all day because of DH's friend. He flaunts his wealth and it's disgusting, but I'm also very jealous of it. He and his wife have a one-year old daughter and in her short life she has practically gone on more vacations than I have in my whole life! Right now they are in Disney World to celebrate her first birthday. I think that is so obnoxious and way over the top and I would never do that for my child, but I'm also jealous that they CAN do that for their child.... I hate feeling this way. I know I should be happy with what I have, but when I feel that someone is shoving their wealth in my face, I get very defensive.