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I am terrified.... moms of 2+ come in please
DD was born on Wed (I haven't updated ticker yet). DH goes back to work tomorrow. Even with him home it has been so so hard.
Every time I think about being alone with 2 kids I start to cry. How am I going to do this?
I have people coming to help with DS for most of the days this week. But it isn't making me feel better. Physically, I can't keep up with him. How am I going to make it? Will it ever get better?
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Re: I am terrified.... moms of 2+ come in please
I don't find it to be too bad. We keep busy and take the baby along with us. We did not get a lot of sleep because DS is a terrible sleeper, and I have a herniated disc in my neck, so I cannot hold DS in my arms (must use a carrier) and it can be painful to do some task, but we muddle through.
It sounds like you might still be in the midst of a birth harmones. Give yourself a break. Ask for help from friends and don't worry if DS watches too much TV or the house is a wreck.
You will do great!
Yes, it gets better. We were crazy enough to do it again and throw a third into the mix. The first few weeks are all about survival. You do whatever you have to do to make it through the day. There's lots of TV and a few meltdowns (both for the kids and you). Take all the help that's offered and ask for help if you need it. Pull out the sticker books, crayons, paints, play dough - anything and everything that entertains your son on his own. Be excited if you get a shower in and make it through the day. The fun stuff comes later. And start balancing. When you're ready, try to get out of the house (with a friend if possible). A trip to the park (if it's warm enough) where your DD can sleep in the carseat/stroller while your DS plays and you watch will make everyone feel better. Even a trip to Target or the mall for an hour just to get out of the house and have new surroundings will entertain everyone and get a little energy out.
But yes, it gets better. So much better. My girls are best friends. They're closer in age than your two, but yours will get there. They play together and generally hate to be apart. Admittedly, they do try to kill each other on a daily basis (if not more often), but that's part of being siblings. You just have to give it time...a lot of time.
((HUGS))
It WILL get better and easier....definitely not easy, but easiER.
I was in your spot last year and I just felt like I was in constant survival mode. Some days, I still feel like that and my youngest is now almost 14 months old! lol
It will get better though...I promise. You just have to give yourself and everyone time to adjust......and definitely enlist all the help that you can!
If it helps any, I SWORE I was never going to have another child again. It was just too much in the beginning with 2 and I just felt like there was NO WAY that I could ever handle another. And well........I am kind of excited to have another now at this point. We are still planning on waiting a couple more years, but I just can't believe that I am finally at that point, you know?!
Hang in there mama!
This. 100%
{Ava 5.16.06} {Ella 12.29.07} {Drew 2.9.10}
When it comes to high anxiety things like this, I try to ask myself, "What is the worst that is going to happen?"
In this situation, it's probably that one of you (or all of you) are going to be crying at one point or another. But that's ok!! You will make it through --- all of you will!
But you will all be fed (well, the kids will anyway --- I often "forgot" to eat in those early days b/c I just couldn't even manage to get myself some food). But you will be fed and clothed and no one is going to die. <---- that's it. That's the basics. And that is ALL you worry about right now. Keeping everyone safe, clothed, dry and fed.
Everything else will work itself back in before you know it. (((HUGS))) Hang in there. Remind yourself.....thousands, millions, of women have done this. And survived. And their kids survived. If they can do it, you can too. And I know that's cliche but it's the truth!!!
I have no experience with this yet---but I am terrified too! what doesn't kill us makes us stronger....right?
congratulations on your new little one!
It gets easier as time goes on! The beginning was really rough until I started parking K in front of the TV anytime I needed to keep her busy while I put the baby down for a nap or whatever (this spawned a TV addiction that will probably never be extinguished, btw). Then it got a little bit easier. Now E is crawling and cruising, and I feel like I'm on high alert for mischief at every second of every day, so it's almost impossible to get anything done lately...this has been a rough month for us with everyone sick and E teething constantly, but for a while there, it was definitely going decently, and I'm sure it will again. Be patient with yourself!
Congratulations!!!
Kiwi Fruit, 10.2.06 & Ellie Bug, 4.5.09
My blog: Bear With Us
Ideas on Teaching Your Toddler/Preschooler at Home
Congratulations!
Just don't be afraid to ask for help! And tell people exactly what you need. Although it's often hard, be able to say, "You know, it would be really helpful if you started dinner/ folded the clothes/ take DS to the library/ go grocery shopping/ hold the baby while I shower- whatever!
You are a strong momma, and you WILL get through it. Congrats and enjoy your new baby girl!
Yes, it WILL get better!!! If it didn't, I wouldn't have 4 kids and be contemplating a 5th, lol!! I have always said that the first 2 months are the hardest, in terms of adjusting, but after that we were always in a pretty good routine. By 6 mos, it was no problem!
That said, I was always sad when DH had to go back to work after the kids were each born. Granted, he didn't get that much time home with me...maybe 4 or 5 days with each child, but I loved having him here to help me those first several days home with a newborn- even after our 4th child was born. Once he was back to work, though, I realized that I COULD do it w/o him being at home all day & I started to develope my own schedule for the day.
It's nice that you are able to have people to come & help you with DS this week. That will make a big difference. Make sure you rest EVERY chance you get. Being well-rested makes all the difference in the world. GL and CONGRATS on your new little one!!
Congrats! You can do it! All the pps had great advice. Take all the help you can get and pin point your helpers to the areas you need help.
Does William have a routine? If so, stick to it, work baby in around that. I think that made things easier for us. I kept the older children on there routine at the birth of my second and third children. It helped me stay organized and the big kid(s) knew what to expect. Plus it helps baby work his routine around the older kids too. I generally do an unofficial EASY method for baby...
Not advocating CIO, but its a little fact that second and third (and probably higher order siblings) cry more than your first child was able to. It sucks but its okay, baby will not remember. If Jacob is feed, clean and N has to go the bathroom and J just is upset, there are just times he has to wait. I hate hearing him cry but mommy only has two hands...
If you are not tired, plan ahead...I use my crockpot a lot. J's witching hour is during dinnertime however he takes a good nap in the afternoon...i use that to my advantage. There are days where we have to watch TV a lot esp during growth spurts.
You also have to let things go...both kids clean, feed and happy trumps dishes, laundry....it'll get down eventually.
And best yet, the first time your kids laugh together, play together, etc, your heart will melt! I can't imagine my kids not having each other now, as much as the fight, they are lost without each other.
Love this quote:
To the outside world, we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time.~Clara Ortega