Herpes?

Bride_Best · February 2010

Does anyone have or has had herpes during pregnancy?

Bandia12 · February 2010

No.. but I know someone who has vaginal and delivered 2 boys. As long as you don't have a breakout, you can deliver vaginally and everything should be fine

Roxpup · February 2010

I don't, but I saw a special on Discovery Health on it not too long ago and the woman who had it needed to take the medication that helps prevent breakouts in order to deliver vaginally.

If you do have a breakout at the time of delivery you will have to have a c-section. If babies contract it through delivery they have a pretty high chance of passing away from it (it was an insanely huge number on the show, something like 40 or 60% of babies infected end up passing away).

AprilCachet · February 2010

A good friend of mine has it and is actually expecting her second now. With this pregnancy and her first she took meds daily starting at 36 weeks to prevent an outbreak when in labor. But if she does have an outbreak she will have a csection. From my understanding the risk of passing it to child is very small because NO doctor will let you have a vaginal delivery with an outbreak.

PlainandTall · February 2010

Do you have a more specific question?

Everyone who has herpes... still has it. Sad but true.

Current statistics estimate that one in four American women is infected... but only 20% of infected people know they are infected. Also sad but true.

Bandia12 · February 2010

PlainandTall:

Do you have a more specific question?

Everyone who has herpes... still has it. Sad but true.

Current statistics estimate that one in four American women is infected... but only 20% of infected people know they are infected. Also sad but true.

This is true. Many women have oral herpes, and don't know it. But that is not really a threat while having a baby. And neither is vaginal if you don't have a breakout. As pp stated, you can not deliver vag. if you have a brekout.

Bandia12 · February 2010

ETA** was a RP.. lol sry

Bride_Best · February 2010

I had a bump and found out less than 24 hours after discovering it that it was most likely herpes. I was devistated. I'm slowly accepting it and getting over it, but it just makes me feel icky. It also is the most painful thing that I have ever experienced. I'm on meds for the next 10 days and will go on the same meds every day throughout my 3rd tri to keep the breakouts away. The doctor was confident that as long as there isn't any breakout when I go to deliver that I could delivery vaginally, but if there is a breakout, no questions asked, I will be having a c-section. I appreciate the help/support. It's always nice to "know" someone who has had it during pregnancy. Thanks!

PlainandTall · February 2010

It must be really tough to be dealing with the emotional part of it for the first time when you are also pregnant. It sounds like your Dr. has a good plan for you and even though you are surely feeling sad about this- at least you know and can stay on top of the situation. As I mentioned before- most people with herpes don't even know it, so even though finding out is a real blow- in the grand scheme of things, finding out is a really a good thing for you and your baby.

You may find this factoid interesting/comforting:

"Many women who have their first outbreak of genital herpes during pregnancy do not actually have a new infection, instead, the outbreak is the first symptomatic recurrence of a longstanding infection. That is, the first time symptoms of an outbreak have occurred, even though the infection was contracted some time ago."

emily0829 · February 2010

Bride_Best:
I had a bump and found out less than 24 hours after discovering it that it was most likely herpes. I was devistated. I'm slowly accepting it and getting over it, but it just makes me feel icky. It also is the most painful thing that I have ever experienced. I'm on meds for the next 10 days and will go on the same meds every day throughout my 3rd tri to keep the breakouts away. The doctor was confident that as long as there isn't any breakout when I go to deliver that I could delivery vaginally, but if there is a breakout, no questions asked, I will be having a c-section. I appreciate the help/support. It's always nice to "know" someone who has had it during pregnancy. Thanks!

I haven't experienced this, but I just wanted to give you an e-hug. *HUG*

It must be difficult to deal with this right now, but you're not alone. I'll keep you in my T&Ps that everything works out that you have a happy and safe delivery!

MrsEmm · February 2010

sending hugs as well - im sure this is difficult but not the worst thing that could happen. like PP said 1 in 5 have it & it will become more of an annoyance than anything else as time goes on.

cheller134 · February 2010

I was going to ask this question too. My wonderful DH was nice enough to give me this gift that keeps on giving! I have finally come to terms with it. But it definitley makes you feel icky! Just the 'H' word sounds dirty and there is so much stigma attached to it. But as other girls have said, it is quite common. I haven't had an outbreak in quite some time but the doc said he would put me on Valtrex at 36 (i think) weeks just to be certain I don't have an outbreak around delivery time. He said its perfectly safe for mom and baby. Sorry your going through this at such an emotional time. I remember how hard it was dealing with the fact that I had it and will have it forever. GL to you!

bensbride225 · March 2010

Your Dr will put you on Valtrex a few weeks before delivery, and as long as you don't have any active lesions when you go into labor (they'll do a speculum exam to make sure) you'll be fine to delivery vaginally. I'm a L&D nurse and we see this all the time-- herpes is very common.

jess60 · March 2010

cheller134:
I was going to ask this question too. My wonderful DH was nice enough to give me this gift that keeps on giving! I have finally come to terms with it. But it definitley makes you feel icky! Just the 'H' word sounds dirty and there is so much stigma attached to it. But as other girls have said, it is quite common. I haven't had an outbreak in quite some time but the doc said he would put me on Valtrex at 36 (i think) weeks just to be certain I don't have an outbreak around delivery time. He said its perfectly safe for mom and baby. Sorry your going through this at such an emotional time. I remember how hard it was dealing with the fact that I had it and will have it forever. GL to you!

Same here...only it was an ex that didn't know he had it (or so he claimed).

You aren't alone & as long as you & your dr are aware of it, everything will be fine.

(((hugs)))

Bride_Best · March 2010

Thanks girls. DH is very concerned about how to handle things moving forward. I didn't ask those questions when I was with the OB, as I can't even begin to think about being intimate in the near future!

He said that in the 3rd tri, I'll be taking Valtrex daily to ensure that I don't have an outbreak.

PlainandTall · March 2010

That was one of the reasons why I included that quoted paragraph in my post about the fact that you may have had this dormant in your system for a long time, and pregnancy just brought it out... I was concerned that maybe along with all the physical pain, you were struggling either with fears of your husband cheating on you- or him accusing you of cheating on him- (I guess either of those is a possibility) but there is also a perfectly sound medical explanation for what could be happening here which does not involve anyone having purposely kept secrets or cheated. It's also possible that if this is a primary outbreak- that you did get it from your DH, but that he was one of the 80% of people who have herpes who don't know it.

Did you know that standard STD screening does not even test for Herpes?

Very few people know that!

I'd also like to give a big hug and pat on the back to all the moms who stepped forward and said something to Bride_Best, because putting a face, a beautiful wholesome, normal face, to the social stigma against people with herpes is going to go so far in helping her overcome the shock and upset that she feels! That was such a kind and loving thing to do!

You are not alone, this is common and the social stigma is totally unwarranted. If everyone who had herpes KNEW they did... I think that people would wise up and shut up really fast.

As for moving on, it affects people differently- but most people- as time goes on- will suffer fewer and fewer outbreaks until the fact that they have herpes is nothing more than that- a fact- but it is not a symptom or an ilness that they battle with daily.

Bride_Best · March 2010

PlainandTall:
That was one of the reasons why I included that quoted paragraph in my post about the fact that you may have had this dormant in your system for a long time, and pregnancy just brought it out... I was concerned that maybe along with all the physical pain, you were struggling either with fears of your husband cheating on you- or him accusing you of cheating on him- (I guess either of those is a possibility) but there is also a perfectly sound medical explanation for what could be happening here which does not involve anyone having purposely kept secrets or cheated. It's also possible that if this is a primary outbreak- that you did get it from your DH, but that he was one of the 80% of people who have herpes who don't know it.
Did you know that standard STD screening does not even test for Herpes?
Very few people know that!
I'd also like to give a big hug and pat on the back to all the moms who stepped forward and said something to Bride_Best, because putting a face, a beautiful wholesome, normal face, to the social stigma against people with herpes is going to go so far in helping her overcome the shock and upset that she feels! That was such a kind and loving thing to do!
You are not alone, this is common and the social stigma is totally unwarranted. If everyone who had herpes KNEW they did... I think that people would wise up and shut up really fast.
As for moving on, it affects people differently- but most people- as time goes on- will suffer fewer and fewer outbreaks until the fact that they have herpes is nothing more than that- a fact- but it is not a symptom or an ilness that they battle with daily.

Wow, thank you so much for this. You are exactly right in thanking all who responded as well. It's often times hard to discuss with people you know in real life, but I have found that even just by "talking" about it here, it has helped things. I have no worries are doubts about my DH cheating. I think that is the last thing that would even come into our heads. I've been in icky relationships in the past and this is so different. DH is just concerned about sex in the future and him getting it...which he feels that he probably already has now anyway. Thank you again for all of your support. We all have "something" in our lives to worry about, yet not everyone knows about it right?!

PlainandTall · March 2010

Well, if he doesn't have anyone to talk to about it either... I know I'm just one person, so my experience is not scientific data or anything... but I got it from a boyfriend when I was a teen, so I'd already had it for about 6 years before I met my DH. I told him about it when we were dating and he was willing to accept the risk. We have been married 15 years and he has never gotten it from me and we have unprotected sex all the time. Maybe that will make your DH feel better.

I don't do any of the supressive therapy that you see advertised on TV, and you will have to take with your Dr. if that's a reasonable solution for you. If you don't get outbreaks very often I don't think it's worth the bother or money. I also (personally) feel that the drug commercials play a lot on people's fear about asymptomatic transmission, I think that people who know they have herpes, know their symptoms... and people who don't know they have herpes- have the symptoms too- they just don't recognise them for what they are. Did that make sense? That's not science- that's my personal opinion about the motive of the drug company who stands to profit if they can make people afraid that they are always shedding the virus even when they have no symptoms present.

I have outbreaks very rarely, maybe once a year and they don't last long... and a day or two before it happens I can feel it coming on- it's called the prodrome. For me it feels like a headache deep inside a vaginal nerve. I don't have siatica- but I imagine it's a little like what that pain must feel like. If I feel any sort of a sense, I tell him, "Honey, I'm afraid I'm getting a herp." That just lets him know that it's on my mind and I'm concerned about it. I usually get pretty sad and moody if I'm afraid it's happening (feeling sorry for myself, resentful, alone, toxic) but being able to tell him and have him be understanding why I need space goes really far to relieve the stress (which is said to make symptoms worse) He will leave me alone sexually for a few days- sometimes it will turn into a sore- in which case we avoid sex longer and other times it's a false alarm. (I think I'm very cautious and I will always put up the alarm if I have any doubt)

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