Will the drama ever END?!

mama_duck · February 2010

So, my my parents who live in Los Angeles are throwing my baby shower. (my BFF is getting married about 2 weeks after the shower so she couldn't do it). DH and I live in No. California. I assumed DH wouldn't want to go to a baby shower, and we have 2 dogs to take care of, so it wasn't really that convienent for him to go. And we are both going down to Los Angeles, like 2 weeks later for my BFFs wedding. My MIL who only lives 45 min away is not throwing me a shower, infact she has barely acknowledged me being pregnant. But someone is throwing her a grandparent shower, which we would need to be attending we were told by her.

Anyway, my mom told him yesterday (my parents are visiting our house) that my brother and some of my brother's friends were coming to the house after the shower. Mind you I had no idea that my brother was coming and then a few of his buddies were coming over to my parents house later. Well, DH is kinda pissed off at my mom and now very hurt. I do understand his viewpoint, and I and kinda perplexed why my mom wouldn't ask his to reconsider him not coming or reinvite him due to the change in baby shower plans. She says that she didn't plan it this way that it just kinda evolved. My mom is super sweet, but sometimes doesn't think things through. I am trying to convey that to DH, but he is pretty upset by it. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I can do.

Why does all this $h!t have to be soooo frickin' complicated?

Sugarnear · February 2010

I don't understand why he's upset? Because your brother and other guys will be there, but not your DH? But he WAS invited, right?

sassafras007 · February 2010

Maybe I read it wrong but why can't DH come now? or after?

mama_duck · February 2010

He was always invited, but elected not to go because it was supposed to be an all girl thing. And then my mom changed the plans and made it more coed (like an after party). She didn't ask him if he wanted to reconsider attending. She didn't tell me this either.

islandgirl79 · February 2010

mama_duck:
He was always invited, but elected not to go because it was supposed to be an all girl thing. And then my mom changed the plans and made it more coed (like an after party). She didn't ask him if he wanted to reconsider attending. She didn't tell me this either.

Well he knows about it now so why doesn't he just go? I am not getting what the big deal is. Certainly not something to get so upset about.

And I have to add that I have never heard of a grandparents shower...that part made me laugh a little.

DaisyFull · February 2010

I really just don't understand your post; it's kind of all over the place. I don't get what DH is upset over? That he wasn't invited?

gingerfamily · February 2010

WTF is a grandparents shower?

I don't see an issue? He was invited from the beginning.

DaisyFull · February 2010

mama_duck:
He was always invited, but elected not to go because it was supposed to be an all girl thing. And then my mom changed the plans and made it more coed (like an after party). She didn't ask him if he wanted to reconsider attending. She didn't tell me this either.

Ok, I didn't read this before I responded.

I'm not sure why she would need to ask him to reconsider; he said no. My DH is going to be at my all-girls shower regardless of who else is there anyway. He also wouldn't expect a re-invitation to something he was already offered once, regardless of the circumstances. He'd just go if he wanted to go.

I'm not sure I understand why there has to be so much hand-holding.. I hope you get it straightened out! GL!

myonetruelove · February 2010

What the heck is a grandma shower? Especially for a women who is not really acknowledging your pregnancy.

DH seems like he is being a big baby. It sounds as if they were just coming over and it's not an addition to anything.

mama_duck · February 2010

I know. the longer i think about the more it seems that way to me too. I just haven't seen him like that before. And about the grandma shower, my MIL friends are throwing her a shower for stuff for her house and a little cocktail party. Kinda weird. I honestly thought she might throw me a shower as well, considering that she lives 45 min away and has 4 sisters and her bridge friends. But apparently not. I have stated my peace with DH and I am going to see if the issue dies, which I am think it will. I just hate conflict and family confict on top of it.