What do you think? — The Bump
Adoption

What do you think?

I was watching the View yesterday (DVR'D) and they had an episode about IF with Guiliana and Bill on it talking about their show and how they are showing IF and what they are going through. They started talking about celebrities using donor eggs and/or sperm and when asked why he thought celebrities kept use of donor eggs a secret, he said ",because it's not their child".   This upset me being an adoptive parent because Ben is my child whether he was adopted or biologically mine.

Maybe it just rubbed me the wrong way, but I didn't like it--like it's some big horrible secret to not have a biological child.

Amy
Proud Mommy to Ben
You didn't grow in my tummy, but in my heart!!

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Re: What do you think?

  • I had the same reaction.  And then asked myself why I keep watching The View?  It makes me upset on just about a daily basis...  :)
  • I think that clearly shows where his head is.
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  • My cousin told me about the show.  I think I'm glad I didn't see it.  I would have been so MAD if I had heard that response.

     

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  • I heard snippets on other boards that the show was full of inaccuracies anyway. Way to misinform a swath of the general public.
  • I would like to have seen what was said. Wrong information is bad all the way around. You would think that they fact checked information. I did not see the show but for what people say to answer questions shows you were they are personally.
  • http://abc.go.com/watch/the-view/167365

    you can watch the episode for 2/25/10 at link above

    I haven't seen it yet - curious to watch it now

     

     

    TTC #1 for over 5 years - too many to count IF treatments (tried everything and anything), repeat miscarriages. Finally, Sticky Success!! B/G Twins arrived 2011. VOTE on my Name List Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I caught it yesterday and I was annoyed too.  I think it's great to talk about infertility but it was annoying the way that they discussed adoption and egg/sperm donors. 

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  • I just watched the episode from the link below, and I think it was one of the hosts that made that comment, not Bill.  Then there was a lot of agreement with the statement, and it was hard to tell who agreed and who didn't.

    Regardless, it was a stupid, uninformed comment, but I still think it might wrap up what people who can only imagine having a biological child that is 1/2 them and 1/2 their partner, think.

    ETA:  I want to clarify the type of person I mean in that last statement.  I know people who never wanted children, but then found the right person, fell in love, and suddenly started having kids.  Their reason?  "I just wanted a little (insert S/O's name) running around" or "I just thought it would be the coolest thing every to see what kind of awesome person would come out of a combination of me and (insert S/O's name)."  These are not people who just want to be parents or even to have the whole experience, starting with pregnancy.  These are people who only had children because they wanted to create children that were 50% themselves and 50% their partner.


  • image fredalina:

    i also have to say i'm a little annoyed that everyone kept asking the guests, "Why haven't you thought of adoption?" or "What about adoption?"  And then they repeat that the show is not about adoption.  It was obvious where their biases are.  i'm obviously all for adoption, but i HATE how some people act like people who pursue fertility treatments are bad in some way and should "just adopt."

    As I've admitted before, I used to be one of those people who thought that adoption was a nobler path for people with problems TTC than fertility treatments (now reformed), but I didn't get that impression from their questions.  I think the reason they brought it up is because it's within the line of reasoning.  If you want a child and are having TTTC, you can either undergo treatments or adopt.  I think they were just asking if it was something the guests considered, and if so, why they opted for treatments instead.


  • Chiming in way late and I didn't see the show or watch the link..but..I just wonder if it's perception. It's  NOT a celebrity's genetic child. So saying that they use donor eggs..opens them up to many other kinds of scrutiny. They already live their lives under a microscope. Maybe they are trying to protect their child by not saying anything. They aren't necessarily putting a shameful face to donor eggs or adoption by not coming out and tooting their horns about it--they are just maintaining a sense of privacy. 

    Think of what type of scrutiny and gossip it might open up a celebrity to to admit publicly that they are having fertility problems and had to go this route. They are human too, and they may not be prepared to deal with that...and the inevitable painful questions... 

  • I would originally have the same reaction.  My DD is MY DD.  I can unfortunately see where a celebrity might feel they have to hide it though.  They are supposed to beautiful, perfect, etc.  I doubt that in their hearts that they don't feel like the child is there own.  It's an image thing but it sure would be easier for regular women if they were open and proud about it.
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