Question about Guest List — The Bump
Baby Showers

Question about Guest List

Hi! My mom, sister and I are planning a shower for my older sister in May. We will be holding the shower at my mom's house.

 We are unsure if we are supposed to invite the in-laws. We will definitely be invinting the MIL, but do we need to invite his step-sisters, aunts, grandparents, etc? Our side of the family is pretty large and would be about 25 people by ourselves. If we had any more people, my mom isn't sure how we would fit them all. Is it bad ettiquette if we only invite our side of the family plus the MIL?

Thanks!

Re: Question about Guest List

  • I would talk to your sister. See if her ILs are planning something on their own. Maybe the MIL will want to go in on this shower with you.

    Personally, I would not exclude them unless they are throwing another shower or your sister and her ILs are not close.

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  • Does MIL know if there is anyone on their side throwing a shower.  Have your mom ask her.  If not then maybe invite the close relatives...sisters and grandparents...not aunts (if your mom doesn't have room).  You could always just give MIL a number that your mom's home could accommodate plus the people who are coming on your side.  You said 25 on your side...do you know they will all come?
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  • The thing is - if you dont' have room, you dont' have room.  So no, you dont'  "have" to invite them.  Obviously MIL, but if she says something about "what about the rest of my family", your sister just needs to say "due to space, we can't invite everyone. I'm so sorry".

    Then its up to someone on the IL to throw a shower if they want.

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  • My MIL hadn't said anything about a shower when my mom and sister started planning, so I emailed her and said, "My mom is throwing me a shower...I'm inviting you and my SILs, but is there anyone else you would like to be there?"  I think she got the hint because she invited 1 friend to my mom's shower and then decided to throw her own.  I know you run the risk of her inviting like 10 people, but I think most people understand that when someone else is footing the bill, it's not a free-for-all.
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  • Personally, I would figure out a number that could be comfortably accommodated (even if it's only 5 people, whatever), and talk to your sister's husband.  Explain that you'd like to include some of his family (certainly his mom) if they'd like to come, but due to space you can only handle X people, and see what he says.  I wouldn't ask his family if they are throwing your sister a party, honestly, if y'all aren't close with them that may come across as asking them to throw a party.  Since it's for his soon-to-be child, he should be the one who picks who to invite IMO...he may, for example, have a favorite aunt that he's closer to than his step-sisters, whatever.

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  • imageTulipsAndChampagne:

    I would talk to your sister. See if her ILs are planning something on their own. Maybe the MIL will want to go in on this shower with you.

    Personally, I would not exclude them unless they are throwing another shower or your sister and her ILs are not close.

     

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  • If they are related to my baby I put them on the list. I don't want to offend anyone before he's even here.
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  • Thanks for all of your input. I think we've found another place to hold the shower, which will be able to accommodate whomever my sister wants to invite and it's free!!
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