how do you and DH balance responsibilities?
We both have high stress corporate positions that require him to work long hours and me to travel a few times a month. I feel like when I am home I am doing the morning routine, drop off, pick up, dinner, bath and bed at least 4 days a week solo. I am away maybe 2 or 3 nights total in the month and he does it all solo. In addition to the childcare, I take care of the house 95% (I refuse to take the garbage barrels out to the curb 
) all the meal prep, laudry and shopping. When I'm not here things fall apart- no milk, cereal for dinner etc....
I want to address with him that my job is just as important and that while I adore our child I feel like he's not pitching in as much as I need him to be so I feel it's balanced. I just know if I say something he's going to be so sensative and say that he has to put the extra time in at work to make money. So in the end I suffer for saying anything.....
Anybody else struggle with finding the right balance?
Re: how do you and DH balance responsibilities?
I can't imagine doing all of that by myself. I SAH for 14 mo's and then went back to work and my DH got a rude awakening. First, I hired someone to clean my house and it is WORTH EVERY CENT! I told DH that was not negotiable when I returned to work (eventhough he was reluctant...he's pleased we have that service now). I delegated to DH. He is in charge of diapers (inventory and purchasing), drop off to DC in the morning, yard work, garbage, laundry (yes...he does all of the laundry) on a regular basis. He also helps with dr appointments and we share sick days. He also helps run erronds on Saturday morning and schedules DS's haircuts.
I have just found that sometimes you have to manage your husband like you manage a project at work (I also work in corporate america). I delegate and give him timelines/reminders. I explained that we have to share the responsibilities or we both can't work full time. It was rough at first in the transition, but now it's great. I also had to realize that I had to let go of having things done my way...as long as he gets the job done, I need to be OK with it. Yes - he has made some boo boos....(he has come home with the wrong diapers a few times), but he learns and does it better moving forward. I would try to pick jobs you know that DH would be able to do easier to avoid resistance. Make a list of all the things that need to be done each week/month and have DH pick some he can do. Eventhough my DH helps, I still feel like I do more.....oh well. It will never be "even" but I feel more sane with him sharing the responsibilities with me.
Good luck!
Personally I find the best way to get my husband to do more is to ask for specific things for him to do and then praise him for being a really helpful husband. If I tell him he's not pitching in, he gets defensive and upset. We are similar- I work in a corporate job and I make more money, but my department is pretty flexible, my husband gets used to me being around to do everything. I recently decided I don't cook during the week - I can't get his help cooking and I just can't do it after work, so I just make enough Sunday to reheat. And I always get all the kids stuff ready - I know if I asked he would do it, but I just don't feel like asking. We had a conversation about me feeling like I do everything and he told me to ask for help, so now when I need it, that's what I do.
Either way, it's very hard to find balance, so you just do the best you can.
Yes.
Right now I would honestly say I do at least 90% of the household chores. And no, I don't have a solution yet.