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I think he's going to make a run for it (vent)

coffeeaddiction21coffeeaddiction21
in Single Parents

LO is almost a month old now and A week or two ago I decided to start the process of filing for child support. Well they  needed his address. So I decided to e-mail LO's father to see if he'd e-mail me his address since his phone doesn't get good reception and he checks his e-mail constantly at work. He lives an hour away, so it would take 2 hours to get his address and get home. After a few days with no response I decided to dig through my old cell phone to get his number and give him a call thinking my e-mail had been over looked.

Instead of ringing there's some gospel music that started playing so I hung up and rechecked the number, and called again. Same music. No one answered but it was a girls voicemail.

I haven't talk to BD in a few months simply because all we did was argue and I told him i'd call him once LO was born and we'd go from there. I decided to look up his Myspace, Facebook, and Online Dating accounts and ALL of them are gone!

BD decided to wait until I was 5 months pregnant to tell me that he has another child in another state that he never sees. Seeing how the child is 3 years old and he moved here 3 years ago made me a little suspicious to begin with. We would have been married by the time he told me this information, but I decided at the last miniute that we hadn't been dating long enough to commit to each other. Things went downhill between us after that.

I have no way of getting ahold of BD and i'm starting to get really worried. I feel like if he can up and move out of state once before, he has no problem doing it again. I have no help what so ever. Now i'm a single mother of two children. I can afford to pay my bills and buy the things we need, but I was really counting on getting child support to save for emergencies and to spend on good child care for LO. Not to mention it would be nice to be able to pay someone to come over and hold LO for a few hours so I can get this disaster of a house straightened out.

I'm at a loss and just really had to get that out. Thanks for letting me vent.

<a href="http://s267.photobucket.com/albums/ii311/spazzingbunny/?action=view
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Re: I think he's going to make a run for it (vent)

  • meghan_mariemeghan_marie member
    He can make a run for it all he wants. There are ways of tracking him down and getting your CS out of him. It will be a long process but you will have to prove he is the father by DNA testing. Talk to a lawyer, they can tell you what you need to do in order to get the ball rolling. He can't run like he thinks he can.
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  • ErinC27ErinC27
    I would get to a lawyer ASAP. They will be able to find him.
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  • coffeeaddiction21coffeeaddiction21
    My biggest fear is that I will end up like my mom. My father ran and has never had to pay a dime of CS. He's in jail right now and they still haven't figured out that he's wanted in another state for CS. They took his taxes once and he started working under the table so they couldn't find him.
    <a href="http://s267.photobucket.com/albums/ii311/spazzingbunny/?action=view
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  • meghan_mariemeghan_marie member
    So what if you do? You turned out okay. Find a good paying job and support you and your LO, make sure he doesn't grow up to be a loser like his daddy and everything will be okay. To hell with what that douchebag is up to. He will get what he has coming. Just take care of your LO, if you can't find the father or get CS out of him, then it wasn't meant to be. Don't give up and do what you have to do.
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  • cabbage5215cabbage5215 member

    imagecoffeeaddiction21:
    My biggest fear is that I will end up like my mom. My father ran and has never had to pay a dime of CS. He's in jail right now and they still haven't figured out that he's wanted in another state for CS. They took his taxes once and he started working under the table so they couldn't find him.

    I have to agree w/PP.  It sounds like not having your bio dad in  your life is the best that could happen under those circumstances and I am sure your mom did th best she could with you.  If your LO's BD is this big of a dbag now you really don't want him in your child's life because he WILL break your LO's heart at some point and probably consistently.  IMO not having your BD around at all(which still hurts:( ) is better than the constant heart ache and reminder of dissapointment.

    I'm sorry you were put in this situation but you can learn from your mom what to do and what not to do and teach your child to be a strong person and a good mom.  It desn't make the situation any less sad, though.  Good luck to you too.  I agree get a lwayer- they will take care of it and try to let everything else go.

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