What's your opinion on only children?

caseybuchda · February 2010

DH and I were debating this last night. Do you think they will grow up spoiled and snotty no matter how you raise them?

I grew up with two older sisters but had three friends that were only children and good gawd they were awful sometimes.

preppynewlywed · February 2010

Nope.

My best friend is an only child, and she is one of the most generous, caring, and loving people I have ever met in my entire life.

I think some people would spoil their kids whether they had 1 or 50.

robinsokj · February 2010

People with siblings can be just as snotty as only children. I was an only child and like to think I came out pretty good

armandos_girl · February 2010

It could go either way - I know plenty of only children who were also very well behaved and mature because they mostly dealt with adults.

DH and I would like for Gabe to have at least one sibling. But it's not for everyone.

Beabs · February 2010

I think it depends on the parenting whether or not the kid (or kids) comes out spoiled/bratty.

Jenandtonica · February 2010

I'm not spoiled and snotty. I know more people with siblings than only children who are spoiled and snotty. That might be because I don't know many only children, but still. It's an individual thing, not a sibling thing.

ValentineBB · February 2010

I am an only child. I was exposed to many things that I might not have otherwise been with siblings. I had traveled all over the world before I left high school. I was definitely spoiled, but also was raised with very high expectations and an intense work ethic. You can definitely raise a well-adjusted only child, in my opinion.

*I will add, I now have step & half siblings, but since they didn't come along until I was 17, I do still identify as an only child.

Lyssapee · February 2010

IMO a child can be spoiled, but it does not automatically make them a brat/snotty/ahole.

It depends how they are raised.

I know children that have siblings who are spoiled and they don't appreciate anything and are huge brats.

As long as you teach your child to appreciate what they have it shouldn't be an issue.

preppynewlywed · February 2010

Oh, and I am pretty stuck up and high maintenance.

I'm the oldest of 5.

caseybuchda · February 2010

preppynewlywed:
Nope.
My best friend is an only child, and she is one of the most generous, caring, and loving people I have ever met in my entire life.
I think some people would spoil their kids whether they had 1 or 50.

I should have added this too. I do have one friend who was an only child that is like this as well. If we can only have one child I am nervous that (knowing our families) will spoil the hell out of them and they will expect everything handed to them.

mrsadamc 05 · February 2010

Like PP, I think it all comes down to the parenting. If you give your child(ren) everything they can become spoiled. If you teach a child how to share, be generous, etc they can come out just fine.

two-pink-shoes · February 2010

My SIL who was the middle of 3 children is a lot more self-centered than any only children that I know.

Jessis62781 · February 2010

as we are about 80% sure that we will only be having one child I would like to think that he won't be brought up spoiled and snotty.

two-pink-shoes · February 2010

Lyssapee:

IMO a child can be spoiled, but it does not automatically make them a brat/snotty/ahole.

It depends how they are raised.

I know children that have siblings who are spoiled and they don't appreciate anything and are huge brats.

As long as you teach your child to appreciate what they have it shouldn't be an issue.

This too. I was very spoiled, but I was taught to be thankful for everything that people gave me.

armandos_girl · February 2010

caseybuchda:
preppynewlywed:
Nope.
My best friend is an only child, and she is one of the most generous, caring, and loving people I have ever met in my entire life.
I think some people would spoil their kids whether they had 1 or 50.
I should have added this too. I do have one friend who was an only child that is like this as well. If we can only have one child I am nervous that (knowing our families) will spoil the hell out of them and they will expect everything handed to them.

Your family is probably going to spoil them no matter how many kids you have. You can do things to counteract that by encouraging compassion, volunteering, etc.

ginifred · February 2010

I am an only child, and I don't think I am spoiled or snotty. Of course I'm biased.

But seriously, throughout my life, people were always surprised to find out I was an only child. My best friend, however, has a younger brother and she is way more spoiled than I ever was.

I think it all depends on the parents and how they were raised. I will say that it was lonely at times being an only child, and thats the reason I want to have 2 kids. On the flip side (and slightly spoiled only child side), Christmas was awesome.

Jenandtonica · February 2010

caseybuchda:
If we can only have one child I am nervous that (knowing our families) will spoil the hell out of them and they will expect everything handed to them.

You don't have to allow that.

Dr.Loretta · February 2010

My DH is an only child.

He had nothing growing up.

He turned out fine.

We may only have one.

It depends on how you raise your children, whether you have 1 or 20.

ValentineBB · February 2010

ginifred:

I think it all depends on the parents and how they were raised. I will say that it was lonely at times being an only child, and thats the reason I want to have 2 kids. On the flip side (and slightly spoiled only child side), Christmas was awesome.

This. When my parents got divorced, I felt incredibly alone. But Christmas did (and still does) rock.

I would add that my husband, who is the only boy in a family of 5 is WAY more spoiled than me. His mom in particular spoils him way more than any of her other kids.

buckin · February 2010

I see many pro's and con's of only one child. I used to say I only wanted one, but then I got older and as I face the future without many family members, I realize that having siblings and cousins has its advantages. It gives one a sense of roots and tradition and home. I can't imagine personally, leaving my child with no one beyond itself when DH and I go.

Also, I can't imagine the way I grew up, not having a playmate and someone to confide in. My sister can be very selfish and self centered and take a lot out of the family dynamics but she can also be giving and loving and a confidante. It's the nature of the beast but I wouldn't change not having a sibling.

If I can only have one, I will be sure to surround him/her with their cousins and family so they establish the roots but if I can, I will provide them with a sibling and selfishly myself a legacy of continuance.

fabbate13 · February 2010

My Mom is an only child and I think she's pretty awesome.

This baby will most likely be an only child. I have gotten comments from people when I tell them this and it's usually on the negative tone. But to each their own I guess.

danlexi04 · February 2010

Being an only chld, I was brought up to be very independant and self reliant (sp?). I may have been spoiled in a sense that I was given alot from my grandparents but I've never had a feeling of entitlement. The most spolied, obnoxious, and self centered person I know has siblings.

It's not about who you were raised with, but how you were raised imo.

caseybuchda · February 2010

Jenandtonica:
caseybuchda:
If we can only have one child I am nervous that (knowing our families) will spoil the hell out of them and they will expect everything handed to them.
You don't have to allow that.

DH and I have already talked about making her do daily chores like we did and work for everything like we had too. I think that was the way that I learned to appreciate everything I had. I just still worry sometimes.

Mama_SAS · February 2010

I think only children can be well adjusted. I also think having another child for the sake of not having an only child is not a good idea. The only reason to have another child is if you want one.

If you decide to have only one you may get many different comments. I've heard that you should have another in case something happens to your only child. Your child will be all alone when you die. Every child needs a sibling. And many other horrible reasons to have more kids.

ETA: I should say these are horrible reasons to have kids that you don't want. If you want more kids that is fine, and if these reasons are part of why you want more kids that is fine too, but you have to want the kids.

Jay_Cee · February 2010

I think it depends on the parents, to be honest. My DH was not an only child, but he was the only one in the house when he was born (his sisters are the same age as my mom). He is one of the most giving people I know and he was not spoiled -- his parents taught him to realize the value of a dollar.