PSA: For those who don't post because they don't know what to say or "can't relate"

pepomntpat · February 2010

Some suggestions for responses:

I'm sorry you are having a rough day.

I wish I had answers, but know I am thinking of you.

All good answers. You are then giving support, people are getting to know you and it is just nicer that way.

::steps off soap box::

ETA: I am assuming all negatives.

Also good responses:

That's great!

Good luck!

Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

kona08 · February 2010

pepomntpat · February 2010

PS. This is not directed at any particular person. I see this a lot and it bugs me. No one can relate to every post, but everyone can be supportive. This isn't a Q&A forum.

hking76 · February 2010

Yes or PIP work well, too Big Smile

Awesome PSA!

dondraandluis · February 2010

Yes

eminbmore · February 2010

ITA! I don't always know what to say, but I know if a friend is hurting - she needs a hug, or a word of encouragement. It's common sense.

KelinandKevin · February 2010

You make a good point. For me it's hard to keep up with everyone and I often don't have time to follow up to posts. I do my best to say, "welcome" and "good luck" and all that jazz. But I am often a post and run type of gal too. Gotta pay those IVF bills!

Amanda78 · February 2010

pepomntpat · February 2010

KelinandKevin:
You make a good point. For me it's hard to keep up with everyone and I often don't have time to follow up to posts. I do my best to say, "welcome" and "good luck" and all that jazz. But I am often a post and run type of gal too. Gotta pay those IVF bills!

No one can reply to every post. That isn't what I mean. I don't keep up all that well either, but I try very hard to give a response to any post I open.

KelinandKevin · February 2010

pepomntpat:

KelinandKevin:
You make a good point. For me it's hard to keep up with everyone and I often don't have time to follow up to posts. I do my best to say, "welcome" and "good luck" and all that jazz. But I am often a post and run type of gal too. Gotta pay those IVF bills!

No one can reply to every post. That isn't what I mean. I don't keep up all that well either, but I try very hard to give a response to any post I open.

Well apparently your one of like 200. I have seen posts around here lately that have like 5 replies and 300 views. You know those 5 people haven't clicked on that thread 300 times....

I think they are chicken. <bawk bawk bawk>

Texas77again · February 2010

pepomntpat:
PS. This is not directed at any particular person. I see this a lot and it bugs me. No one can relate to every post, but everyone can be supportive. This isn't a Q&A forum.

i'm confused on what you mean here. you say you see a lot of it and it bugs you.

what do you see a lot of? people who don't know what to say? because of post views vs replies?

and i do think that a lot of what we talk about here is Q&A.

kndeckar · February 2010

KelinandKevin:
You make a good point. For me it's hard to keep up with everyone and I often don't have time to follow up to posts. I do my best to say, "welcome" and "good luck" and all that jazz. But I am often a post and run type of gal too. Gotta pay those IVF bills!

This is me exactly. I appreciate you posting this because I am probably one of these ppl you are talking about! I am going to try and post more instead of just lurking!!

johannaknip · February 2010

Yes

IMO a (hug) is always a good thing to do as well. It can be a (hug) or a ((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))).

KelinandKevin · February 2010

kndeckar:

KelinandKevin:
You make a good point. For me it's hard to keep up with everyone and I often don't have time to follow up to posts. I do my best to say, "welcome" and "good luck" and all that jazz. But I am often a post and run type of gal too. Gotta pay those IVF bills!

This is me exactly. I appreciate you posting this because I am probably one of these ppl you are talking about! I am going to try and post more instead of just lurking!!

I'm pretty sure she was talking about me too. But that's ok. I've earned my right to lurk and pick what I respond to around here. Wink

pepomntpat · February 2010

Texas77again:
pepomntpat:
PS. This is not directed at any particular person. I see this a lot and it bugs me. No one can relate to every post, but everyone can be supportive. This isn't a Q&A forum.

i'm confused on what you mean here. you say you see a lot of it and it bugs you.

what do you see a lot of? people who don't know what to say? because of post views vs replies?

and i do think that a lot of what we talk about here is Q&A.

I see people say that they don't reply because they don't know what to say. I thought that was pretty straight forward. And while there is Q&A I think the point of the forum is support. HTH.

Texas77again · February 2010

pepomntpat:
Texas77again:

pepomntpat:
PS. This is not directed at any particular person. I see this a lot and it bugs me. No one can relate to every post, but everyone can be supportive. This isn't a Q&A forum.

i'm confused on what you mean here. you say you see a lot of it and it bugs you.

what do you see a lot of? people who don't know what to say? because of post views vs replies?

and i do think that a lot of what we talk about here is Q&A.

I see people say that they don't reply because they don't know what to say. I thought that was pretty straight forward. And while there is Q&A I think the point of the forum is support. HTH.

it's hard to tell with words, but do you have a shitty tone?

pepomntpat · February 2010

Texas77again:
pepomntpat:
Texas77again:

pepomntpat:
PS. This is not directed at any particular person. I see this a lot and it bugs me. No one can relate to every post, but everyone can be supportive. This isn't a Q&A forum.

i'm confused on what you mean here. you say you see a lot of it and it bugs you.

what do you see a lot of? people who don't know what to say? because of post views vs replies?

and i do think that a lot of what we talk about here is Q&A.

I see people say that they don't reply because they don't know what to say. I thought that was pretty straight forward. And while there is Q&A I think the point of the forum is support. HTH.

it's hard to tell with words, but do you have a shitty tone?

I don't think so.

Texas77again · February 2010

ok then. it's hard to tell when it's typed.

writergirl5786 · February 2010

pepomntpat:
PS. This is not directed at any particular person. I see this a lot and it bugs me. No one can relate to every post, but everyone can be supportive. This isn't a Q&A forum.

right on. this is totally a support group. i know i'm new but i already feel the love and totally understand the "gotta give some to get some" philosophy. even ((hugs)) count because let's be real...we all know that sometimes there are no right words

ksyknelvr73 · February 2010

Well, I know I said that in my "re-intro" post that you posted earlier...and by all means, I understand the support aspect. I just don't want to post on anything that is a direct question about something that I have no idea about. I've seen certain things about late losses or IVF or things like that and while I am definitely available to offer the "I'm sorry" or "Good luck", if there are specific questions relating to those things then I won't be able to offer anything. That's all! I am trying to do a better job of posting and responding to things - work makes it hard for sure. I'm sure the bump is going to be banned off my computer soon!

pepomntpat · February 2010

ksyknelvr73:
I'm sure the bump is going to be banned off my computer soon!

This would suck. For the longest time at work, I could only read, but not post and it was infuriating. Then I got a better job and I posted all the time and now I am unemployed and I post all the time.

Jillwithani · February 2010

kona08:

jprovo · February 2010

eminbmore:
ITA! I don't always know what to say, but I know if a friend is hurting - she needs a hug, or a word of encouragement. It's common sense.

I agree that it is common sense!!

DaisyCakes18 · February 2010

I'm trying to post more, but things move so fast here that it's hard to keep up. I truthfully only read a handful of threads every day just because I don't have a lot of time most days. DH is working tonight so I can Bump til bedtime but most days he's home around the same time I am so I don't get to spend as much time on here.

It doesn't mean I care any less about what people are going through - it's just hard to keep up! I'm going to try harder though because I think this board is a lot more welcoming and friendly than some of the others.

*hugs to all*

louisianamama · February 2010

Thank you for this good reminder. I think I've been "lurking" more than posting because I feel so new to the boards. I don't want to say the wrong thing or upset anybody by saying something "ignorant."

However, it is a good reminder that even saying something simple & supportive can be helpful.

Thanks!

ChicagoWeded2007 · February 2010

While I understand what you are saying, you can't change other people's behavior. Some people are going to respond and some people aren't.

Personally, if I am reading through the board and I come across someone giving bad news and they have 60 people already responded to them and it's someone I've never heard of -- I just don't have the urge to respond. Guess I'm a biitch then, but I don't understand why you should let it bother you. I don't necessarily think that people post on here just so they can get a certain number of people to respond. Hope I am not hated forever for saying this.

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