Dr made comment about my weight :( (vent)

Vaughnswife2007 · February 2010

Just came back from my dr's appointment and am really aggravated....I go to a practice so am rotating between 4-5 doctors...This doctor I usually love told me that I need to be careful and not gain too much weight because I don't want a 9-10lb baby. First of all I really don't care how much my baby weighs as long as he/she is healthy. Then she proceeded to tell me that she thinks I should eat salads for lunch everyday because most women gain 25-30lbs and I have gained 42lbs so far....and I'm the one "who has to get rid of it after the baby". DH was fuming at this point because he said he feels like she's trying to put me on a diet which is ridiculous during pregnancy and because she's making it seem like I HAVE to lose the weight immediately after baby...He said doesn't care if I ever lose it and she shouldn't either. My doctor also contradicted herself by telling me that I should cut my 4 day a week workouts down and limit them....ok so I shouldn't gain anymore weight but I shouldn't go to the gym anymore and just occasionally walk around my subdivison?? Make up your mind lady!!! Ok vent over.....

scubaspot · February 2010

Ouch! What a bi@tch!

Did she give you any reason to believe that by gaining more weight that you would somehow be putting LO or yourself at some sort of medical risk?

kwinters87 · February 2010

My doctor told me that the weight I gain doesn't have as much to do with the baby's size as genetics do. I know women who gained over 50 lbs and had 6 lb babies, and I also know moms who had 10 lb babies and actually lost weight during their pregnancy.

So eat whatever you like, its one of the only times in our lives people feel we're entitled to do so Smile

claire1983 · February 2010

Not trying to be rude here...but don't you think it is possible that your doctor is warning you about your weight for your own health reasons? Not that it's the end of the world that you gained a few extra pounds but lets face it, being overweight is not healthy for anybody. It doesn't sound like she maybe put it in the nicest of terms but still...

ShariL · February 2010

I agree with PP. The amount of weight you gain has nothing to do with the babies size. I have a friend that gained 90lbs. with her first child and did not have a big baby. She lost most of the weight after the baby.

She is on her second and I know has gained over 50pounds so far and the doctor is not concerned. It could be genetics. Everyone gains a different amount.

amykins1283 · February 2010

Sorry you had to deal with that! I got the weight talk at my last appointment. In fact, I've gained the same amount as you have which makes me feel better about my weight, haha. All I've done is eat less sweets and bulk up on the fruits and veggies and protein. I figure there isn't much more I can do because I'm not supposed to be restricting calories or anything like that, obviously. My baby is measuring two weeks ahead of schedule but big babies run in DH's family so I don't think it has much to do with my weight.

Anyway, just know that I am in the same boat and I totally get how you feel. I go by the rule that every woman is different and our bodies know what needs to get done.

almostabuck · February 2010

This isn't going to come out right, especially since you are sensitive about it, but what was the doctor supposed to say? You have gained more weight than average and it is your best interest to slow it down a little. Eating a salad for lunch will not kill you and if the doctor can't tell you that you are gaining too much, then who can?

Unknown · February 2010

This content has been removed.

stgn01 · February 2010

This happened to me on Monday also! I asked my doc how much I had gained and he said he didn't look and those numbers aren't important, but would check anyway. Then said that I can't gain anymore weight this pregnancy b/c I'm already up 30lbs. So which is it? It doens't matter or don't gain anymore wieght (which is impossible!!)

I have already cut out soda and juice, eat a banana and cheerios for breakfast, only eat McD's about once a month (but I wish is was more), have at least one salad everyday, and do a prenatal DVD. What else am I supposed to do?!?!

Erika6504 · February 2010

I'm kind of with some of the PP who pointed out that the Dr. was probably just warning you. There is a "normal" range that you're supposed to gain and you've gone above that. Whether your DH cares or not, it's not healthy to be overweight, which is probably why she was bringing up losing the baby weight.

My Dr's are very strict about weight gain and I actually like it because I know they are just watching out for me in the long run.

megan329 · February 2010

This reminds me of my Dr's office. They weigh me with whatever I'm wearing. One week, it was snowing like crazy, they weighed me with my heavy wool coat, wallet, cell phone, car keys, blue jeans and heavy boots on. The next week, it was warm and I just had pants and a shirt on and they were shocked that I lost 8 pounds. The next week, it was cold again, etc. And each week, whoever I see is shocked at the weight change and I have to tell them what I was wearing the week before. So, I sympathize with your situation because I've heard the weight lecture too and I just shrugged it off because I know what I'm eating and I've been pregnant before.

Sugarnear · February 2010

Why did she tell you to cut down on your workouts? I'm still working out 7 times a week and the doc says it's fine.

ali_bl-nov05 · February 2010

almostabuck:
This isn't going to come out right, especially since you are sensitive about it, but what was the doctor supposed to say? You have gained more weight than average and it is your best interest to slow it down a little. Eating a salad for lunch will not kill you and if the doctor can't tell you that you are gaining too much, then who can?

Sorry, but I have to agree.

I'm fat, so that is a sensitive topic, but I'd rather have my doc give a reality check than telling me is all peachy if it isn't.

KYmama9286 · February 2010

I disagree w/ the PP's that are talking about 25-30lbs being the normal amount--25-30lb weight gain is the average weight gain of a pregnant woman but over the years it has been come to known as the max--in my opinion average weight gain means that 30lb gain is middle of road in comparing the highs and lows of what different women gain

Its one thing for a dr. to be wanting you to be healthy but I also feel like some woman can eat super healthy, exercise, etc. and still gain alot during their pregnancy whereas other women can pig out and not gain (or even lose!) I would just focus on getting lots of good protein, fruits and veggies and water and if you splurge on fast food or junk--youre pregnant! Give yourself a break! (plus as youve said none of the other dr's youve seen in your practice have had an issue w/ your weight gain--so if it was a true major health concern wouldnt the other dr's have brought it up?)

jilicious · February 2010

ali_bl-nov05:

almostabuck:
This isn't going to come out right, especially since you are sensitive about it, but what was the doctor supposed to say? You have gained more weight than average and it is your best interest to slow it down a little. Eating a salad for lunch will not kill you and if the doctor can't tell you that you are gaining too much, then who can?

Sorry, but I have to agree.

I'm fat, so that is a sensitive topic, but I'd rather have my doc give a reality check than telling me is all peachy if it isn't.

I agree that if a doctor can't be frank about weight gain than who can? Granted, it's during pregnancy when hormones and emotions run a little high, but still.

My doctor told me that refined sugars like chocolates, cookies and cakes can definitely contribute to a bigger baby, so perhaps that's what the doctor(s) mean when they say higher weight gain = bigger babies, because there's a fair chance that the hefty weight gain is due to unhealthy foods rather than nuts and berries.

Salads for lunch does NOT mean dieting dangerously, either, it just means a healthy diet. Remind DH that a salad is not just washed, undressed limp spinach leaves, they can have nuts, fruit, other veggies, lean meats, egg, cheese, etc in them. But the things they do not have are like, slices of pizza, fried chicken and donuts (though that could be a potentially appealing salad, LOL).

BUT: weird that the doctor wanted you to slow down at the gym, unless in some weird way she thought that you were allowing yourself to go willy nilly with food since you're working out?

witoga · February 2010

almostabuck:
This isn't going to come out right, especially since you are sensitive about it, but what was the doctor supposed to say? You have gained more weight than average and it is your best interest to slow it down a little. Eating a salad for lunch will not kill you and if the doctor can't tell you that you are gaining too much, then who can?

witoga · February 2010

ugh, I meant to say I agree with the above poster. It is in your best interest to slow down on your weight gain. Unless you are truly eating healthy all/most of the time and are still gaining at the rate you are then it is not going to hurt you to watch what you eat a little...your dr is there to give you advice based on their experiences and wisdom - I guess you take it or leave it but I think the advice you were given is appropriate.

ali_bl-nov05 · February 2010

skyllingstadl:

I disagree w/ the PP's that are talking about 25-30lbs being the normal amount--25-30lb weight gain is the average weight gain of a pregnant woman but over the years it has been come to known as the max--in my opinion average weight gain means that 30lb gain is middle of road in comparing the highs and lows of what different women gain

Its one thing for a dr. to be wanting you to be healthy but I also feel like some woman can eat super healthy, exercise, etc. and still gain alot during their pregnancy whereas other women can pig out and not gain (or even lose!) I would just focus on getting lots of good protein, fruits and veggies and water and if you splurge on fast food or junk--youre pregnant! Give yourself a break! (plus as youve said none of the other dr's youve seen in your practice have had an issue w/ your weight gain--so if it was a true major health concern wouldnt the other dr's have brought it up?)

Nope, 30 pounds is the max. And recently doctors are reconsidering this notion as excessive.

For a person who started off overweight (like me), we are adviced to gain no more than 20 pounds (I`ve gained 21 and my doc is not too happy)

If a person gains weight during pregnancy in spite of a heathy diet, it's one thing, but let's face it, most of us do because we over-indulge.

MWoodside · February 2010

I feel like a physician has an obligation to you as their patient to advise if they feel your weight gain is unhealthy or concerning. It's not a personal insult or anything, they are just being honest with you.

MsNessa · February 2010

Did she ask you about what you are eating? Because without that knowledge I think it's ridiculous for her to make a recommendation about switching your lunch to a salad.

I've gained almost 40 pounds and I haven't gotten any comments or lectures about it. But even if I did, it wouldn't bother me because I know what kind of diet is ideal for pregnancy (high protein, etc) and that's what I've followed.

Sorry it upset you. If I was in your situation I would take a good look at what I'm eating and if you feel you're eating the right things, tell them that at your next appointment. If not, maybe you should make some changes. Not so that you don't gain above a certain number, but so your baby is receiving everything it needs.

KYmama9286 · February 2010

ali_bl-nov05:
skyllingstadl:

I disagree w/ the PP's that are talking about 25-30lbs being the normal amount--25-30lb weight gain is the average weight gain of a pregnant woman but over the years it has been come to known as the max--in my opinion average weight gain means that 30lb gain is middle of road in comparing the highs and lows of what different women gain

Its one thing for a dr. to be wanting you to be healthy but I also feel like some woman can eat super healthy, exercise, etc. and still gain alot during their pregnancy whereas other women can pig out and not gain (or even lose!) I would just focus on getting lots of good protein, fruits and veggies and water and if you splurge on fast food or junk--youre pregnant! Give yourself a break! (plus as youve said none of the other dr's youve seen in your practice have had an issue w/ your weight gain--so if it was a true major health concern wouldnt the other dr's have brought it up?)

Nope, 30 pounds is the max. And recently doctors are reconsidering this notion as excessive.

For a person who started off overweight (like me), we are adviced to gain no more than 20 pounds (I`ve gained 21 and my doc is not too happy)

If a person gains weight during pregnancy in spite of a heathy diet, it's one thing, but let's face it, most of us do because we over-indulge.

That is not accurate at all--I have not had a single doctor tell me that there was a maximum weight gain (this includes me having seen certified nurse midwives, regular OB's and high risk maternal fetal medicine doctors) Just because 1 doctor prefers you watch your weight gain I have never been told once that I could only gain a certain amount (and I started out on the heavy side) I have known incredibly healthy, fit women who have gained 40+ lbs when pregnant who easily lose the weight after pregnancy (and not by modifying their diets)--just because a dr says something doesnt make it absolute truth

yourmomwreckedmybike · February 2010

Dr's are concerned about their patients health. Telling you to watch your weight gain and eat healthier is very good advice. Pregnancy is NOT a time to eat whatever you want and indulge in every craving. Excess fat gain DOES cause health problems and/or labor complications, and DOES affect your babys health and size. I'm also worried that your DH doesn't care if you don't lose any extra weight... That is a very bad attitude to have, and excess weight is very unhealthy. Just because we are pregnant doesn't mean everyone has to keep their mouth shut regarding anything that may offend us... Seriously?

grace416 · February 2010

skyllingstadl:
I disagree w/ the PP's that are talking about 25-30lbs being the normal amount--25-30lb weight gain is the average weight gain of a pregnant woman but over the years it has been come to known as the max--in my opinion average weight gain means that 30lb gain is middle of road in comparing the highs and lows of what different women gain

Its one thing for a dr. to be wanting you to be healthy but I also feel like some woman can eat super healthy, exercise, etc. and still gain alot during their pregnancy whereas other women can pig out and not gain (or even lose!) I would just focus on getting lots of good protein, fruits and veggies and water and if you splurge on fast food or junk--youre pregnant! Give yourself a break! (plus as youve said none of the other dr's youve seen in your practice have had an issue w/ your weight gain--so if it was a true major health concern wouldnt the other dr's have brought it up?)

I completely disagree with this. You're pregnant you're nutrition should be at its finest right now, its definitely not an excuse to endulge.

OP:

Baby: 7-8 pounds
Placenta: 1-2 pounds
Amniotic fluid: 2 pounds
Uterus: 2 pounds
Maternal breast tissue: 2 pounds
Maternal blood : 4 pounds
Fluids in maternal tissue: 4 pounds
Maternal fat and nutrient stores: 7 pounds

I'm not going to sugar coat this, anything on top of this give or take a few pounds is excess fat, any excess fat is unhealthy for the baby. Be thankful your doctor is concerned about your weight. If the other doctors aren't concerned I would be concerned with their skills as a doctor. Their responsibility as a doctor is to make sure you have a healthy pregnancy. Are you eating healthy?

BelleIsa · February 2010

jilicious:
ali_bl-nov05:

almostabuck:
This isn't going to come out right, especially since you are sensitive about it, but what was the doctor supposed to say? You have gained more weight than average and it is your best interest to slow it down a little. Eating a salad for lunch will not kill you and if the doctor can't tell you that you are gaining too much, then who can?

Sorry, but I have to agree.

I'm fat, so that is a sensitive topic, but I'd rather have my doc give a reality check than telling me is all peachy if it isn't.

I agree that if a doctor can't be frank about weight gain than who can? Granted, it's during pregnancy when hormones and emotions run a little high, but still.

My doctor told me that refined sugars like chocolates, cookies and cakes can definitely contribute to a bigger baby, so perhaps that's what the doctor(s) mean when they say higher weight gain = bigger babies, because there's a fair chance that the hefty weight gain is due to unhealthy foods rather than nuts and berries.

Salads for lunch does NOT mean dieting dangerously, either, it just means a healthy diet. Remind DH that a salad is not just washed, undressed limp spinach leaves, they can have nuts, fruit, other veggies, lean meats, egg, cheese, etc in them. But the things they do not have are like, slices of pizza, fried chicken and donuts (though that could be a potentially appealing salad, LOL).

BUT: weird that the doctor wanted you to slow down at the gym, unless in some weird way she thought that you were allowing yourself to go willy nilly with food since you're working out?

I also agree with pp above. If a doctor can't give you health advice, than who can?

grace416 · February 2010

jilicious:
ali_bl-nov05:

almostabuck:
This isn't going to come out right, especially since you are sensitive about it, but what was the doctor supposed to say? You have gained more weight than average and it is your best interest to slow it down a little. Eating a salad for lunch will not kill you and if the doctor can't tell you that you are gaining too much, then who can?

Sorry, but I have to agree.

I'm fat, so that is a sensitive topic, but I'd rather have my doc give a reality check than telling me is all peachy if it isn't.

I agree that if a doctor can't be frank about weight gain than who can? Granted, it's during pregnancy when hormones and emotions run a little high, but still.

My doctor told me that refined sugars like chocolates, cookies and cakes can definitely contribute to a bigger baby, so perhaps that's what the doctor(s) mean when they say higher weight gain = bigger babies, because there's a fair chance that the hefty weight gain is due to unhealthy foods rather than nuts and berries.

Salads for lunch does NOT mean dieting dangerously, either, it just means a healthy diet. Remind DH that a salad is not just washed, undressed limp spinach leaves, they can have nuts, fruit, other veggies, lean meats, egg, cheese, etc in them. But the things they do not have are like, slices of pizza, fried chicken and donuts (though that could be a potentially appealing salad, LOL).

BUT: weird that the doctor wanted you to slow down at the gym, unless in some weird way she thought that you were allowing yourself to go willy nilly with food since you're working out?

Because of excess weight gain it can make your BP sky rocket. And it will put stress on the baby.

grace416 · February 2010

scubaspot:
Ouch! What a bi@tch!
Did she give you any reason to believe that by gaining more weight that you would somehow be putting LO or yourself at some sort of medical risk?

I don't think her doctor was giving her a reality check for the sake of being bitchy.

grace416 · February 2010

kwinters87:
My doctor told me that the weight I gain doesn't have as much to do with the baby's size as genetics do. I know women who gained over 50 lbs and had 6 lb babies, and I also know moms who had 10 lb babies and actually lost weight during their pregnancy.

So eat whatever you like, its one of the only times in our lives people feel we're entitled to do so

Are you seriously telling her to eat whatever she wants after her doctor just told her to watch her weight ??

ali_bl-nov05 · February 2010

skyllingstadl:
ali_bl-nov05:
skyllingstadl:

I disagree w/ the PP's that are talking about 25-30lbs being the normal amount--25-30lb weight gain is the average weight gain of a pregnant woman but over the years it has been come to known as the max--in my opinion average weight gain means that 30lb gain is middle of road in comparing the highs and lows of what different women gain

Its one thing for a dr. to be wanting you to be healthy but I also feel like some woman can eat super healthy, exercise, etc. and still gain alot during their pregnancy whereas other women can pig out and not gain (or even lose!) I would just focus on getting lots of good protein, fruits and veggies and water and if you splurge on fast food or junk--youre pregnant! Give yourself a break! (plus as youve said none of the other dr's youve seen in your practice have had an issue w/ your weight gain--so if it was a true major health concern wouldnt the other dr's have brought it up?)

Nope, 30 pounds is the max. And recently doctors are reconsidering this notion as excessive.

For a person who started off overweight (like me), we are adviced to gain no more than 20 pounds (I`ve gained 21 and my doc is not too happy)

If a person gains weight during pregnancy in spite of a heathy diet, it's one thing, but let's face it, most of us do because we over-indulge.

That is not accurate at all--I have not had a single doctor tell me that there was a maximum weight gain (this includes me having seen certified nurse midwives, regular OB's and high risk maternal fetal medicine doctors) Just because 1 doctor prefers you watch your weight gain I have never been told once that I could only gain a certain amount (and I started out on the heavy side) I have known incredibly healthy, fit women who have gained 40+ lbs when pregnant who easily lose the weight after pregnancy (and not by modifying their diets)--just because a dr says something doesnt make it absolute truth

Well, that is worrying. I think more and more doctors are keeping mum about the weight issue becasuse it is such a sensible topic for so many people.

What I just said is not only based on my doctor's opinion, but it is what alll my book and trust worthy online resources say.

Of course a morbidly obese woman can have a healthy baby, of course a fit lady can gain a lot of weight, we have all seen those cases, but is is not about our personal experiences, it is about medical facts and gaining a lot of weight during pregnancy is not healthy. I'd be more concerned that offended (I was when the doc brought up the weight issue with me)

Jennicap · February 2010

I was told I gained too much too but not in that way! wow! though my doctor did tell me I have to limit my sugar intake ASAP and exercise more so I'll have a healthy baby! I've been doing that for a month now and haven't gained as much as I have been!

sdtchica13 · February 2010

I don't know, everything I have read says average weight gain is 25-35 pounds if you are a healthy weight to begin with, so I am not sure where people are getting this "30 pounds max" thing from.

I am up at like 29 pounds right now at 29 weeks and was up 28 pounds at my appointment 2 weeks ago and my doctor didnt seem concerned at all. It might be because I am literally 90% belly and BOOBS, but in general they have mentioned that they have stopped stressing out their pregnant patients over weight gain because its not healthy to do so.

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