Community› The Bump Message Boards› TTC After a Loss
TTC After a Loss
New Discussion

Like salt in the wound...

louisianamamalouisianamama
in TTC After a Loss

I keep frickin' going back to FB to check a friend who is pregnant and due to same week as I would have been.

She already has a healthy little 1 & a 1/2 year old and announced to FB at 4 weeks that she was pregnant!

4 weeks? Really? She peed on a stick and put it on FB? Not even confirmed by a blood test/doctor? Not even worried about waiting "just in case"? I guess this goes back to the "pregnant women are smug" because she just naturally accepts that everything is going to be perfect with this pregnancy like it was with her first.

Who is like that? I was worried about miscarriage from the day of BFP because I had so many friends/family who had miscarried. I was all too knowledgeable that something could happen. And, it did.

How do you ever feel confident about a pregnancy again after a miscarriage? How do you feel so freakin' sure at 4 weeks that everything is going to be okay that you tell the world via the social medium that is tantamount to a gossip site?

I think I'm just jealous (and a bit confused) why some people can have that sheer confidence that everything is going to just "be okay" while the rest of us sit out here and know that so very much can go wrong?

Report Reply to Post

Re: Like salt in the wound...

  • bahamamabahamama member
    I don't think that anyone here will feel confident about a pregnancy again. We've all been through difference experiences, but we share the same sense of loss. I recognized before I was pg that there could be many things that go wrong, but I have to admit that I was really excited with my news and wanted to share it with the world. Furthermore, as many others on this site have shared, not even a healthy delivery means that something won't happen down the road. I think your friend may be living in a world of ignorant bliss. If I were honest with myself, I wish that I were there, too. All of this worrying doesn't do anything to fix what's happened or change the future. My advice to you would be to just support your friend and wish her the best.
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • heathergirl67heathergirl67 member
     I know exactly what you mean.  And I hate comparing all of the things that I did "right" with all of the "wrong" things that my loved ones did during their healthy pregnancies.  For example:  Not telling the world "too soon", eating healthy, never having caffeine, getting plenty of rest, etc.  I don't like being bitter and jealous toward people I genuinely love who truly deserve a baby.  Sorry if I'm stealing your thread.  I just want you to know that I sympathize with you. 
    Report Reply
  • kilissakilissa
    I'm sorry for your loss.  I keep thinking about how we all have lost the innocence of pregnancy.  I was happy pregnant and looking forward to having a healthy baby in August.  I tried to do things as good as I could, but it still wasn't enough.  I'm just tired of feeling sad and scared.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • writergirl5786writergirl5786 member

    imagekilissa:
    I'm sorry for your loss.  I keep thinking about how we all have lost the innocence of pregnancy.  I was happy pregnant and looking forward to having a healthy baby in August.  I tried to do things as good as I could, but it still wasn't enough.  I'm just tired of feeling sad and scared.

    this exactly. since i went through my m/c one of my co-workers/friends who has gone through multiple losses has talked to me and let me vent, etc. on of the biggest things she said to me was that from now on, we will no longer have that innocent niavete (sp?) that normally occurs with pregnancy. i don't necessarily think that all pg women are smug...i just think that they are totally oblivious to what could happen. we will never be that way. while getting our bfp's and having a healthy pregancy will be joyous to us...it will be a different kind of joy. bc while we're happy, we'll still be desparately praying that this is our sticky baby. no one else outside of this sisterhood even knows what that means. it sucks. i'm just glad that there are others here to help me through it (but sad at the same time that so many others have to feel this loss as well). ((hugs))

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • louisianamamalouisianamama
    Thank you, ladies, for the feedback. I'm definitely just jealous and wishing that I had those innocent "everything is just naturally going to be okay" thoughts. It might be so nice to be blissfully unaware...
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"