Might have to move. Advice needed.

*NNO* · February 2010

DH's job advised him today that they are needing a couple more people to move to Chicago, and also need a couple people to move to Sydney, Australia. They chose DH because of his job knowledge.

I am a tad nervous about moving out of state/out of the country because I am close to my family, and couldn't imagine leaving my friends behind.
This move won't be taking place for another 2-3 years, but they told him now so he can prepare for it.

If you live away from your family, how do you deal with it? What challenges have you faced? Any advice you could give me? I've only lived in Ohio, and the whole move thing makes me nervous. TIA.

LaLaSweets · February 2010

Sydney is a big change but sounds sort of exciting! My thing would also be my family. I hope you get good advice. Sorry I'm no help

ibfloridagirl · February 2010

i get terribly homesick and miss my family like crazy (we moved from FL to TX 3 years ago), but in a lot of ways this has been a good move for us, DH and i have had to overcome a lot and because we had no friends/family here, we only had each other to depend on. GL to your DH!! Oh and i would love to move to Sydney!

babyflynn08 · February 2010

It's definately challenging now that we have a child. You will get less nights out by yourself but you will make friends and learn to adjust. I have also became friends with some older people through work. They are my parents age and treat me and DD as if we are family. I've never lived close to my family since graduating from college so I don't really know any different,

*NNO* · February 2010

LaLa- Yes, Sydney would be very exciting! DH tried to convince me by saying "They'll have kangaroos!" (one of my favorite animals). ; )
Guess we'll see where we end up.

ibflorida- Thanks for the information. I never thought about the fact that it may make us an even closer couple. It's amazing how a life changing event like this can change people. But yes...I will also miss my family dearly.

Naya1123 · February 2010

Tongue Tied

When we lived in NY, I was very homesick. I felt like I was missing out on my family. Ultimately, if we had made more money, I think we would have been okay, but we couldn't even afford to go into the city, so there were no perks of living near NYC, really.

I think Australia would be awesome, because I have heard Australia is very cool. I don't think I would like Chicago so much. And like pp said, it would be very hard at first because you wouldn't know many people and would have kids. You would have to find a sitter and all of that. But once you got established, you might find it is the best thing ever!

Skipperg82 · February 2010

I would love to live in Sydney, what a great opportunity!

I haven't lived in my homestate since I was 17, I've lived all over the place since then. I like moving to a new area, it's great to learn the regional differences, I always thing it's interesting to see how people live differently in different areas.

Right now we are really far from family, other than them not being able to help out as much with DS, it's been fine. We've made great friends here and have had the opportunity to live where most people will never get a chance to visit. Anything can happen in the next 2-3 years so I wouldn't worry too much about it right now - I think the best is to have an open mind and just see it as a learning opportunity.

ggbean · February 2010

Chicago is an awesome city....which is part of the reason we moved back here after living in South Florida for 3 years.

I have a really close extended family, and we anted DS to grow up near lots of family and cousins his age. I miss FL, but moving back here was the best decision for our family

Rubygirl · February 2010

Look at it as a temporary adventure! I mean, if you move to either place is it permanent or more than 5 years? You can always fly home for visits and just imagine little Q with an Australian accent! Cute! Or if it's Chicago, it's not THAT far from Ohio. Certainly within reason to visit home once every 4-6 weeks if you get homesick.

I studied abroad then traveled overseas a lot with my previous job. There were times I got homesick, but I tried to focus on the experience and have fun. At least you'd be with your immediately family.

*NNO* · February 2010

Maybe you ladies are right. It might be better than I think it will be.
I guess I'm just beyond nervous thinking about leaving my family/friends and everything I know behind me. I normally don't mind change, but this is a little hard for me.
Maybe I shouldn't worry about it now. I mean...it's 2-3 years down the road. Anything could change between now and then.

*NNO* · February 2010

Rubygirl:

I mean, if you move to either place is it permanent or more than 5 years?

It would be a permanent move.
And I am laughing at the thought of Q having an Australian accent. Hilarious!

lovemytwoboys · February 2010

Honestly, my DH would be looking for another job in that situation. Of course, he isn't completely happy in his current job anyway, so that might play a factor. But if we lived near all of our friends and relatives, there is no way we would uproot our family and move to another state/country at this point in our lives.

I have lived away from my family (all of them) for going on 8 years now, and I would give anything to move back. It wasn't so bad when it was just DH and I, but with two kids now, I especially hate it. It isn't just the fact that we don't have anyone around to help or give us a break (therefore, they both go to dr appts with me, on every errand with me, we have very few date nights, etc) but also the fact that the boys aren't really getting to know their only living grandparents very well. They visit a few times a year, and vice versa, but it is just not the same.

We do use Skype, but even that is a nightmare at this age. When DS was a baby, he just laid there and there wasn't much to see. But now that he is older, he is too much of an on-the-go type of kid to sit and talk with them, so he runs all over the place, and I try to move the camera around with him. He also tries to grab the laptop, camera, etc.

I'll stop now. Good luck with whatever you decide!

:: sigh ::

lite-bright · February 2010

I'd only ever lived in Ohio until I moved to CA for grad school.

I know nothing about Sydney, but Chicago, for all that it's a major city, is still "Midwestern" and probably won't be too much of a culture shock. (I have family there.)

DH and I are like 1,500 miles from almost all our family (a BIL/SIL moved into our state last year, but they're still 90 minutes away and we rarely see them). The hardest thing by far has been that we don't have many evenings out together or, say, a weekend trip without DD, because we just don't have family to leave her with for that kind of thing. Luckily, we live in a great, very friendly neighborhood and several of our neighbors have teen-age daughters who are willing to babysit.

I think the other challenge is just getting out there and making friends. Use old college connections, look up people on FB that you lost touch with that live in the area -- it's been a lot harder for me since I became a SAHM, b/c before that I could always socialize with co-workers. My local board is nice that way, since there are a lot of other moms who want to get together with people they "know", at least from the interwebz.

Geekchick921 · February 2010

Sydney is a really cool city, if you have to move that far. IF that becomes more than a possibility, MissErinnElizabeth, who mostly posts on BOTB (though I don't know if she's been around as much since she had her baby) lives in Australia (I think in/around Sydney) with her husband, but is from the states. She might be a good person to talk to.

ETA: Kangaroos are like deer here. They hit them ALL the time, and I believe they're seasonally hunted, as well. They also are in petting zoos and things (the smaller grey ones, anyway).

KMLP · February 2010

What does your husband do for a living?

mamamoos · February 2010

Ok. Sydney would be the opportunity of a lifetime. But in my head i'm yelling "noo! You can't leave!" =]. Yay that your DH is so awesome they want to give him that opportunity.

brandonsfuturewife07 · February 2010

1) what does DH do?

2) i HATED living far away from my family. we did it for 2 yrs and are moving back.

3) a lot can change in 2-3 years, so i wouldn't get too nervous.

*NNO* · February 2010

DH is in the engineering field. Once he gets his degree in 2012, they want to transfer him. He has a great deal of knowledge already, but they need him to have the actual degree to move him to Chicago or Sydney.

Shell24 · February 2010

I lived in Sydney for 7 months during a semester abroad in college. The whole country is amazing, and it's so easy to travel to Indonesia, NZ, Fiji, the Tahitian islands, and SE Asia.

The move would only be as permanent as you wanted it to be, so if you wanted to only go for 1-2 years you could! It would just mean your DH would have to find a new job when you came back. The "small grey ones" geekchick is referring to are wallabies. My DH and I would move there in a second (when I came back my dad actually helped me contact an immigration attorney because I wanted to go back after graduation for a year or so) but my DH also studied in Melbourne for a semester so we both know what it's like there. Simply amazing

But I love Chicago too...born and raised! At least from here you're close to home and could go back anytime you wanted.

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Might have to move. Advice needed.

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