After 18 months of crap with them we are truly done. They called us at the beginning of February and ACTED like we were coming in to discuss the program.
Well we walked in excited and thinking FINALLY it's happening but they slammed the door in our faces again. And we were stupid enough to think it was going to be fine?!
Apparently, even after they approved our home study, they want my husband to get counseling over his relationships with his family. My husband always "gives" and they always "take". The agency said we are the "perfect adoptive couple" but they want him to get counseled over his losses. But they don't mean just 5 or 6 sessions ... they were saying this may take a year or more. They even brought up cutting ties with his family and distancing ourselves since we live 30 mins apart. Yes, the word moving was even brought up!
This is NUTS! My husband looked at them and said you just want everyone to be perfect?! He also made the comment, which I was about to make, that at first they wanted us to try and have more contact with them b/c in adoption they really want both sides of the families involved, yet now they want us to cut all ties with them?!
Needless to say, we are cutting ties with them. We can't take the ups and downs. I said doesn't us already being parents show you anything at all? We've proved our family is healthy and so is our daughter.
I am just so frustrated right now ...
Re: Agency Meeting Went Terrible
Sorry they are continuing to make you jump through hoops.
Better to move on at this point, no matter how much money you will lose.
Wow Jess,
I can't believe it! I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Obviously, you know it's time to move on. I just don't get how they can approve your HS and then do this. I'm frustrated for you. I'm here if you need me. So sorry!!
((HUGS))
I'm sorry....that really sucks. Very weird! I hope you guys find a place that treats you good.
If you don't want to go the "agency" route.....try a birth facilitator. Thats what we are doing and it's been so pleasant and quick to get matches. She is really there for us.
Good luck *hugs*
I'm really sorry. I don't understand why they put you through all that.
Thank you ladies soooo much!! I got on my facebook and an old friend of our family told me that maybe I should just be happy with what we have (1 bio daughter) because some people have harder roads --- but that doesn't mean that what we've been through and what we've put into this doesn't hurt! Our daughter is completely different to the journey we are enduring for this baby. I don't put the 2 together if that makes since? We have such a wonderful miracle but our infertility came this time around ... now it's been 4 1/2 years trying and 18 months with a bad agency and how can we NOT be unhappy, sad, & angry over this? How can we put aside what we've lost financially & emotionally?
Then I got on here and was nervous I might get that response at some point but you ladies blew me out of the water!!
Thank you SO MUCH for understanding and being supportive. This is truly a great board : ). Love it!
BTW we are still pursuing private adoption. We are now going to research some more agencies and we WILL make it out of this with a baby in our arms!!