1st Trimester

2nd time moms- found out sex of one and not the other?

HELP! I'm on the 2nd tri board, but wanted to get as much advice as possible.  DH and I have gone back and forth and back and forth and back AGAIN in deciding to find out sex of baby.  This is our first and we've thought what a wonderful surprise it would be to wait, but then the curiosity and practicality take over.

Just wondering if any of you have found out for one and not the other and whether or not you preferred knowing/waiting.  Also, did knowing take away some of the excitement.  I know we'll be excited no matter what, but you know what I mean...

TIA and GL to all of you!!

Re: 2nd time moms- found out sex of one and not the other?

  • We found out with our DS, but for baby #2 I'd like to wait.  My husband is not on board with my idea. :)

    Good luck in making your decision.

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  • I didn't find out with DD but we are finding out with #2. We figure if it's a girl we will be set with clothes and such and if it's a boy then we have some shopping to do. I loved not knowing with DD.  She was my first and I wouldn't have changed not finding out. We both have daughters so we are really hoping for a boy, although we will be happy with whatever we are blessed with.  I loved the excitement up until the last month when I said, "This better be a girl because they have way cuter clothes than boys do."

     If I had a vote, I would vote not to find out! At least not with your first.

  • We found out with DD, but are leaning towards not finding out with this one.  Honestly, for us it was about state of mind.  With DD, we were both obviously happy, but we were having a hard time feeling like it was real.  We both kind of thought that if we had a pronoun for the baby and started talking about *her* and not just "it" or "the baby" then we'd start feeling more in touch with the pregnancy.  And it worked - once we had a pronoun and we could imagine ourselves with a little girl we both got so so so much more into things!  It's not that were weren't excited before, it was just so abstract and we needed it to be more real.

    This time around, we both feel like we're already there - we know that this teeny tiny little seed of a person is going to be a real live human being and neither of us feels the same need to make things real, so we're thinking it might be fun to wait and see.

    I have absolutely no regrets about finding out, and for what it's worth - it was a wonderful surprise then too, it was just a surprise at 20 weeks instead of 40!  Oh, and I also don't think that finding out takes anything away from the birth moment.  That's still incredible and amazing.  :)

    GL!

  • we did not find out the first time - having my husband be the one to tell me "we have a beautiful baby girl" as she popped out was one of the highlights of my life.

    that being said, i'm sort of contemplating finding out this time. this pregnancy is totally different, and i'm wondering if maybe i'll be able to connect better with it if i find out. but who knows at this point...i really loved being surprised so we'll likely end up waiting.

  • We found out with #1 and it was nice to call her her name and I liked the bonding but I did kind of miss the excitement at birth. This time it's a secret and I can't wait until DH gets to tell me the sex, and not an ultrasound tech. You can always find out for #1 and then keep #2 a secret =)
    2 losses
    2 beautiful children
    proud mommy!
  • not much help, but we are not finding out for this baby and we did not find out for baby #1.  such an AWESOME moment at the birth!  it really is spectacular - i can't wait to have that experience again.  everyone's different though - it really wasn't too hard for me to sit back all 9 months and wait.  you can save money on not shopping so much while pg.  ;)  we got so many baby gifts after the baby was born anyway (and all shower gifts were non-clothes items).
  • We found out with our first because I had to know.  We aren't finding out with this one and I think it will be a little easier.  I'm fine with doing a gender neutral nursery this time around and will just use the sleepers I kept from my son and buy a few girly pieces and just keep the tags if we have another boy.  I truly think this baby is another boy so I would love to be pleasantly surprised in the delivery room if its a girl. 
  • We did not find out with the first one and it was an awesome surprise! However, we are considering finding out this time around just because it might be easier to explain to our 3 year old...  Knowing for sure that she's having a baby brother or a baby sister will probably be less confusing for her!
  • We found out with DD and we will find out with this baby.  For me finding out didn't take any of the excitement away.  If anything it allowed us to feel less frantic in the sense that we didn't need a boy and girl plan.  Picking a name was rather hard for us so knowning the gender helped to elevate half that pressure also.  My only fear in knowing was what if they were wrong.
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