Etiquette question

laurel_howeth · February 2010

I am asking this from a very innocent naive position. I have a good friend whose adoption with her DD was finalized today. She was fostering for a year and a half and today was the big day. I want to congratulate her but want to be careful not to say anything that would offend her. Is there anything I could say to a mom and dad adopting that would offend them? TIA

ksmeg78 · February 2010

Well I am sure there is a lot you could say that's offensive such as "I am glad you have your DD since you don't have any real children" or "children of your own" that could be offensive, but I think as a close friend you probably wouldn't say that. I think the main thing well-meaning people say to me is how lucky my children are that I am adopting them. That can be offensive because I am not saving them. I think if you just review positive adoption language https://www.parents.com/parenting/adoption/parenting/positive-adoption-language/ you will be fine. I am sure your friend will be thrilled you are sharing in her joy.

laurel_howeth · February 2010

Thank you for the advice!!

Etiquette question

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