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Question for you all to help my sister

KittyKatBratKittyKatBrat
in Single Parents

My sister has been divorced for about a year.  She has one son.  She was asked out by a very nice guy at work that she talks about a lot.  We've told her to go out with him.  She hasn't dated since.

 She'd like to go but she feels that she hasn't been divorced long enough. She's older-46 and thinks theres some sort of time limit.

If anyone has been dating, how long did you wait after separation/divorce to start dating?

I want to show her this post. I don't think it would hurt to to try.  I want to see her happy.

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Re: Question for you all to help my sister

  • nbjenninbjenni
    Tell her to go for it! A lot of people date during their separation period, before the divorce is final. She has waited until her divorce is final, there is nothing more she can do but move on and be happy.
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  • mrgnmrgn member

    imagenbjenni:
    Tell her to go for it! A lot of people date during their separation period, before the divorce is final. She has waited until her divorce is final, there is nothing more she can do but move on and be happy.

    I 100% agree with this. Everyone's healing is different, but there is no time limit when it comes to dating! If she's not ready, she's not ready. But I think she should go for it too.

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  • laurieb602laurieb602 member
    I met my husband while he was seperated...lovely year wait in SC...we married a month after his divorce was finalized...took 14 months...we started dating a month or two after he seperated but we are a little unusual because we've know each other for going on 20 years and were best friends in high school.
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  • fauxshelleyfauxshelley member

    I was taught in therapy to wait one year for every 10 years of marriage.  This gives the person time to heal and find themselves without latching on to another relationship.  In the end though, only your sister knows when she is ready. 

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  • blondnearbyblondnearby

    I think it fully depends on the person.  Sometimes a marriage is over a while before people file for divorce and this can have an effect on the quickness of dating afterwards.  I would tell her to go out on a date with him and then judge her feelings towards the it afterward.  If she doesnt feel like going out again then she at least will know she isnt ready instead of just assuming so.  I am not legally divorced yet but I have been separated a long while and I felt getting into another relationship was okay after I had been separated a year.  I will also say that the way I feel and look at dating is completely different then it was prior to my marriage.. but I didn't realize this until I found myself out in the dating pool.

    GL to her though.

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  • meghan_mariemeghan_marie member
    Depends on the person and when they are mentally ready to put the effort into another relationship. My cousin was engaged while going through her divorce and celebrated her divorce with a wedding the following day. LOL
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  • achase123achase123
    She should go for it if she wants to.  I don't see any reason to hold back.  Shoot, XH didn't hold back WHEN we WERE still married so why should I hold back now.  I first hung out with a guy about two months after I filed....might have sooner if I wasn't hugely pg before then!
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  • CharmCitySmithCharmCitySmith

    Tell her not to necessarily look at it as a date per say but just going out for dinner and maybe drinks with a friend. That will in turn take a lot of the pressure off of it and she may be able to relax and just enjoy the moment and the company.

    I've been separated since October but if I found someone I was halfway interested in spending time with, I'd go out on a date in a heartbeat! Dating doesn't mean you're out looking for the next relationship. It's simply a way of getting to know someone a bit better and having fun at the same time!

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  • KittyKatBratKittyKatBrat

    Thanks girls!  He asked her for coffee tonight and she said yes!  I had sent her a link to this page so she could see how well everyone was doing.

     So thank you again!

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