ugh...another FB status

mrstice · February 2010

makes me want to cry.

"Has my Ipod plugged in so I won't hear (DD) crying.She's been fed and changed.Nothing more I can do (DD) you need to just cry."

This baby is 16 days old.

AutumnBride929 · February 2010

O... M... G. I would have to tell her a thing or two. I couldn't keep my fingers bound.

mrstice · February 2010

she is 17, and a relative (on DH's side). I really want to say something but I'm not sure I can keep it nice, and I don't want to start family drama, ya know?

shainababygirl · February 2010

I'd probably have to start family drama.That, or I'd tell my husband and he'd just call her himself. He's as anti-CIO as I am.

MrsAmers · February 2010

I would have told her to go pick her baby up. Screw family drama, you can (maybe) blame her age for her not knowing any better, but someone needs to tell her to PICK UP her baby NOW!

eisenberg0814 · February 2010

OMG... I don't know what to say. I would have to start a family drama too. Poor baby. I watch teenmom and I have no idea why child services has not taken the kids away yet... Argh, I feel for you and baby.

tunanuna · February 2010

SusieQ1982 · February 2010

Yeah, I'd definitely say something. That poor child... makes me want to cry, too.

cobaltblue · February 2010

I agree--say something!

TabithaGoins · February 2010

this is heartbreaking, I agree I would say something. Although since she's a teenager, if you respond harshly she will just come back at you with attitude and it won't help. I would maybe send her a private message and explain why a baby needs more than just being fed and changed. That her baby just wants and needs to be cuddled, loved and talked to. I'm just thinking that a more explanatory approach might help her more. She's a young mom and maybe just needs guidance.

sunnyday016 · February 2010

MrsAmers:
I would have told her to go pick her baby up. Screw family drama, you can (maybe) blame her age for her not knowing any better, but someone needs to tell her to PICK UP her baby NOW!

This. Plus, how does she know that the baby isn't hungry? Even if you just fed the baby, a baby that young could legitimately be hungry again!

Lotte134 · February 2010

mrstice · February 2010

I always know you ladies will sympathize! Smile

i really struggle with these kinds of things, because although i don't think i'm that 'alternative', compared to my friends and family i am very 'hippy' and 'crunchy'. and they already make comments behind my back about how i'm hard to talk to about parenting topics because i'm so passionate about it, and i pretty much have a completely different attitude about pregnancy and parenting than they all do.

so i feel like if i give unsolicited advice (although i think if you post it on facebook, you have to be open to comments!), i'll be considered the know-it-all, she-thinks-she's-the-perfect-parent even more.

i decided just to vent in my blog, instead.

misseshoneysett · February 2010

eisenberg0814:
OMG... I don't know what to say. I would have to start a family drama too. Poor baby. I watch teenmom and I have no idea why child services has not taken the kids away yet... Argh, I feel for you and baby.

what has any of the moms on teen mom done to deserve their kids being taken away from them?

and im not AT ALL okay with cio but it sounds like she just doesnt know any better. i too would have to say something. or have my hubby say something! maybe something like, "she must just want her mommy to hold her"

EmmieB · February 2010

mrstice:
I always know you ladies will sympathize!

i really struggle with these kinds of things, because although i don't think i'm that 'alternative', compared to my friends and family i am very 'hippy' and 'crunchy'. and they already make comments behind my back about how i'm hard to talk to about parenting topics because i'm so passionate about it, and i pretty much have a completely different attitude about pregnancy and parenting than they all do.

so i feel like if i give unsolicited advice (although i think if you post it on facebook, you have to be open to comments!), i'll be considered the know-it-all, she-thinks-she's-the-perfect-parent even more.

i decided just to vent in my blog, instead.

I understand why you vented on your blog, but maybe give her a heads-up that her baby could be crying because it's time to eat again - a growth spurt causes cluster feeding, or there's gas buildup. Maybe point her in the direction of an infant massage class.

I agree with the PP - it sounds like she just doesn't know any better. Setting yourself up as a sane source of help might be what it takes to help her figure out her baby.

And yes - she posted on FB, she should expect comments.

That status does make me sad. For both the mom (where is HER mom?) and her baby.

mrstice · February 2010

EmmieB:

That status does make me sad. For both the mom (where is HER mom?) and her baby.

heh...her mom is the same. she runs a daycare (although now she pretty much just watches her grandkids), and was going to watch DS - but after 2 hours of her babysitting DS, i quit my f/t job. there was no way i was going to allow her to care for my son.

this family....is the type you can't help but judge. 4 daughters, 2 got pregnant in HS, the other 2 got pregnant shortly after high school. constantly posting on FB the details of their fights with baby daddies, etc.

EmmieB · February 2010

mrstice:
EmmieB:

That status does make me sad. For both the mom (where is HER mom?) and her baby.

heh...her mom is the same. she runs a daycare (although now she pretty much just watches her grandkids), and was going to watch DS - but after 2 hours of her babysitting DS, i quit my f/t job. there was no way i was going to allow her to care for my son.

this family....is the type you can't help but judge. 4 daughters, 2 got pregnant in HS, the other 2 got pregnant shortly after high school. constantly posting on FB the details of their fights with baby daddies, etc.

That's heartbreaking. Those poor babies (the young moms AND their infants!)

I understand not wanting to start family drama, but I'm the type of person who wouldn't be able to stay out of it. If nothing else, I'd set up play dates so they could bring the babies over and then I would make a point of being a good example and showing that "crunchy" works when you give it a shot.

Good luck!

haleymay18 · February 2010

That is so sad.

fallbridequeen · February 2010

OMG, I would HAVE to say something. The circumstances warrant it, IMO. That is wrong. She needs to understand that babies have needs beyond hunger and soiled pants.

somethingchangd · February 2010

It's one thing to do that to a 4 month old - still not my style, but not necessarily damaging - but 16 days??? I think you'd be hard pressed to find people who think that's ok. Wouldn't you? What have other commenters said? I think you have a responsibility to say something. At 16 days I don't think no-CIO is an opinion - I think it's just responsible and safe parenting.

Sunny1inTucson · February 2010

UGH

you should say something. you can say it in a nice way, commiserating.

"I remember those first few months. It's hard for a baby because they've been in a tight, warm womb for 9 mos and it's so different on the outside. Usually what they want is to be held. Go pick her up and cuddle her. I bet she'll calm right now. If you want your hands free, get a carrier - it's magic. You can still get online, do stuff around the house, etc. and baby is happy too!"

and if you know this 17 year old's mom - have a word with her too. someone needs to look out for this baby.

ncbelle · February 2010

For a 16 day old, I'd have to start some drama too :-(

I think you could send her a PM with maybe some helpful links about calming a newborn - that would be less "confrontational" anyway.

mrstice · February 2010

I just sent her a (private) message on FB...

"Hi, Just saw your status and it makes me sad! I know those first weeks (heck, months!) are the hardest. I fully believe that babies don't cry for no reason, so if you want a good list of reasons a baby might be crying, or ways to help a baby stop crying, just let me know. I have some really good links.
She's just so cute, hope to meet her soon!
-(me)"

hopefully she takes it okay - will see how she responds when i get home later!

Lotte134 · February 2010

mrstice:
I just sent her a (private) message on FB...

"Hi, Just saw your status and it makes me sad! I know those first weeks (heck, months!) are the hardest. I fully believe that babies don't cry for no reason, so if you want a good list of reasons a baby might be crying, or ways to help a baby stop crying, just let me know. I have some really good links.
She's just so cute, hope to meet her soon!
-(me)"

hopefully she takes it okay - will see how she responds when i get home later!

I think that sounds great - and totally warranted for such a teeny-tiny baby. It makes my heart hurt to think of her crying alone.

Married2MrWright · February 2010

Tonya_G · February 2010

As a mommy of a fussy baby.... I've put my headphones on and cranked up the tunes many a time these past three months. I'm holding her, and trying to soothe her and console her, but sometimes, she just would cry no matter what I did, and there really was nothing more I felt like I could do. And that can get really, really stressful and tiresome on the ears. So listening to some music would make me a happier, less stressed mommy, and in turn, would sometimes help to calm her (I tend to dance around the house while listening to my music!). Don't knock her thinking she's necessarily CIO, b/c I could very well have posted this on FB at 16 days. I didn't necessarily get from her status that she had laid babe down to just CIO, but rather was just trying to drown out a fussy baby with her music. After reading OP's further comments, maybe this is the case, and if so, that's sad, but she's also just a young kid who might not know better. I wouldn't have had a clue at that age.

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