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Multiples
XP: BFing...ugh (long)
I don't post here often but I really need the advice of some other MoMs...
So this is way harder than I thought it would be. I knew it was hard, I BF'd DD but didn't make it very long (maybe a month). I thought with her it was because I was young and not very committed to it. Here I am, old and (sometimes) wise and it is still really hard! Granted, I am feeding two, but I never in a million years thought it would be this difficult. I thought I was going into it with an open mind but it turns out my "open mind" had visions of me BFing both boys at the same time and it not consuming my life, and everyone gaining weight. Carter is still down by 7oz. I am BFing and we are supplementing with formula. The pedi encouraged me to cut back on the number of times I try to BF in a day because the babies were premature (their due date is this coming Thursday) and it is still really hard work for them to BF and it wears them out. She noticed that I was frazzled and said if I'm not taking care of myself, I'm no good to them. (When I was trying to EBF I was only sleeping about an hour or an hour and a half at a time before I had to start the whole feeding process all over again.) I know she's right and as much as I hate it, I've cut back and only BF about 3 times a day. The other times I pump and we mix that with the fomula supplement. Problem is, I'm only getting about 3oz of breast milk when I pump. Its no wonder they aren't gaining much weight.
So now I'm torn. I know that breastmilk is best for them (and much cheaper) but I feel like I'm failing. I'm not producing much milk which I would guess is because its hard to remember to take care of myself when I'm taking care of 2 newborns. I'm lucky if I remember to eat 3 times a day...and I'm certainly not getting enough water. Now that I'm pumping I have a little more time but I still don't remember to eat half the time...DH always reminds me. And with my extra time its usually a choice between eating and sleeping and sleep has been winning.
And both boys have trouble staying latched. I end up getting really frustrated because it takes 45 minutes total to get one baby on one breast and out of that 45 minutes only 20 minutes of that is them actually eating. I'm no where near close to being able to nurse them at the same time so it is really time consuming.
I would EP but that is still double the work when I already have double the babies. I could switch to just formula but then I feel like a failure. I know its not the end of the world and they will survive but I really wanted to be able to breastfeed. I've read a book about breastfeeding multiples and its good and makes it seem possible but its a full time job! I have an older child that needs my attention at some point. Ugh...this is such a hard decision.
Sorry for such a rambling, all over the place post. I just don't know what to do. DH will support me no matter what but I think he wants me to switch to formula just because he sees how I'm killing myself trying to make this work.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: XP: BFing...ugh (long)
BFing was really challenging at first... We had to triple feed for every feeding - BF, bottle of formula+BM, pump - which was so exhausting. But it was necessary while DDs were getting older/bigger and better at BFing and while my supply was getting established.
It took a lot of work to get to being able to EBF, and even more work to be able to tandem feed. And I am someone who didn't even know if she was going to BF or not! If you are committed, know that it will get easier as time goes on.
I'm sure that having an older child complicates things. Do what you can, and be sure to take care of yourself, too.
OK, first--DON'T feel guilty, don't tear yourself up over any of this. Bottom line is you are feeding your children. That's all that matters.
Next. any amount of breastmilk is good for them, so don't feel like a failure. Anything you can give them for however long you can is good.
If you want to keep breastfeeding, keep at it. My inclination is to tell you the opposite of your pedi. If you want to BF, keep putting them to breast as often as possible. The only way they get better and the only way your supply goes up is if they are nursing. If they aren't, they won't learn and your supply will go down. But...I guess I don't know how it works exactly with premie's. So, take what I said with a definite grain of salt there.
Also, you have to do what works best for you and your family. I have an older child too (he's 2). And I've found that EPing works for me (my DD was having weak latch issues too, just got tired out BFing). I've figured out a way to pump and tandem feed bottles all at the same time (I have a bra that helps me pump hands free), so that really cuts down on my time there. If you can pump hands free and even just feed one baby while you do it, it will help immensely there.
And, if you end up switching totally over to formula that's OK too. They'll be healthy, happy babies!!
I'm with ErinCB, everything in me says that you should be putting them to breast more. They'll stimulate your supply way better than a pump. As long as they are peeing and pooping they're probably doing ok. That said, I don't know all their weight issues etc. and am definitely no expert so....
I don't have an older child so I don't have that part to deal with, but for me, I just decided that for the first few months my job would be breast feeding. I have been exhausted and in pain, but I kind of figure that if I put the time in now it will be worth it in the end. I haven't had supply issues but have had awful nipple issues and have felt like I couldn't take it multiple times. I just keep telling myself that 2 months from now BFing will be so much easier, cheaper and better for the babies. But it is hard.
GL with your decision.
Hang in there, I can tell you it does get easier. I also agree with putting the babies to breast as much as you can. For me, that was always the best way to up my supply.
My one suggestion is to find a situation that works for you (Easier said than done, lol) For us, the is situation is that I nurse each baby three times a day and the other feedings are with a pumped bottle. I pump that bottle out of the other breast while I am nursing the one baby. So that saves me some time on pumping (although I do occasionally pump between feedings to save up some milk. I currently have 32 oz saved for when I go back to work next week)
Sure, there are times when I still tandem nurse (normally when they are both screaming and I dont have bottles pumped) but I honestly don't like it.
Also, I have started supplementing with formula when I need to. I used to beat myself up over it and I would pump and pump until I had enough to feed both babies but I have realized that its not worth making myself crazy over.
Hang in there. Any breastmilk you are able to give your babies is great. And if it doesnt work out for you, thats ok too!
2 things:
1) buy an EZ2Nurse pillow. It is THE best $50 i ever spent. It makes tandem nursing sooo easy (and hands free)
2) remind yourself it WILL get better. both my babies had latching/sucking issues. i, too, just wanted to quit and EP but didnt respond well to the pump (remember, just cuz you can only pump a few oz doesnt mean the baby cant get out more - babies can get out milk when the pump cant). But I just kept pumping and trying and it was around 6-8 weeks when things finally started working.