How do you do it all day? (long)

Breenie29 · February 2010

I am having a bad day today, ya know.....just one of those days. I just feel like I don't do enough with the babies. I am so torn between spending enough time with them, getting house work done, and having a tiny bit of me time...it's very stressful. I feel so guilty when I'm not with the babies. They're at that stage now where they hang on my every word, and when I leave the room, they all watch me with these puppy dog eyes, it breaks my heart. So I am feeling like I have to be in their sight all the time.

Now, don't get me wrong I have a great DH and lots of help from my mom, but I feel like the babies always want me, and I feel bad asking my mom to clean my house (I know she would do it though)

And the other thing is I run out of things to do with them. There is only so much you can do with 4 month olds. What do you guys do with your LOs all day? How do you keep them entertained?

It's hard with three because there's three of them and one of me and I always feel like someone is being left out, I think that's part of why I feel so torn. Having multiples is not only physically exhausting it's emotionally exhausting too. Anyways, sorry for rambling, I just had to get that off of my chest. Thanks for "listening."

stillhoping · February 2010

Take a deep breath and be assured that you and the kids will get the hang of it. As things change and they grow you will go through phases and times that you wonder how the hell am I suppose to do this. But you will do it and you and the babies will survive. Trust me..

as far as what is more important the house can wait, the dishes can wait, the laundry can be done by someone else. Your babies can not wait and they will not be four months old forever. My trio will be six in one short month. I can not believe it has gone by so fast. This is a very magical time with them and soon it will be warm enough for you to take them on walks around the block. There will be so much more you can do.

That is not to say that you should not take some time to yourself, please do as you need it and it will benefit them to know that mom is not the only one who can care for them (and you as well)

atc282 · February 2010

Not sure how your weather is, but something I feel doing with the girls that breaks up the day is taking them out for some air--I'm in NY and it's too chilly/icy to stroller around, so instead I have found myself going to the mall, the grocery store, Target, Costco, etc. just to get them out (and it's a sanity saver for me). My girls love the car too (they tend to nap during the rides). The mall has garage parking so I don't have to bear the cold with them. Would your mom be able to go run errands with you if you need a hand?

Other things I do with them are tummy time (I found putting the boppy pillows down and letting them prop up works best), I rotate them on their activity mats (we bought two for variety sake), I put them in their bouncers and read to them picture books, or I carry one DD in a Bjorn while I do low maintenance housework while other DD either goes in a cradle swing or plays on her mat. And then there are times I just put on music and take turns dancing around w/ them (hey, I get bored!!) or lay them on the bed and stand over them talking to them/ letting them get kick time/ interaction time with each other (they are just coming around to recognizing each other finally).

We actually plan to buy a jumperoo and/or an exersaucer soon as I feel they are getting stronger neck control and would prob. like these items to play around in. I also plan to put up their jump and go doorway swing to see if that adds any entertainment value (?!)

Anyway, try not to feel guilty. You are doing an AWESOME job at caring for your babies!! Hope you have a better weekend ahead of you (and that you get a little time to yourself,it does wonders!!)

HANG IN THERE Wink

janjag · February 2010

hello in toronto. i grew up in north york

i'm guessing your trips were not full term. they take longer to get to each developmental stage... that's been my experience. and i think it can make things a little tougher (even though mine weren't very premature, and didn't have any lasting problems).

what you're going through sounds normal! singleton moms go through this too... so X 3... well, normal! as they get older you can roll around and rough house on the floor with them. things just do get easier as they get older. one is bouncing on me as i type this

even though they are just sitting there, they are discovering their world... things are becoming more clear, they are noticing things more. when one of my girls discovered her hands she stared at them off and on all day! she still does sometimes... ha.

have you considered getting a little bit of help... like a mother's helper from a local university - pay something like $10/hr, just for a few hrs at a time maybe a couple days a week. they can help with things like baby laundry, feedings, making/washing bottles.. or whatever. or can you have someone come clean your house for you... even if it's just a treat? and i don't think it's too much to ask your mom for help cleaning.,.. you have triplets!

jacobandcrystal · February 2010

Just wanted to say don't feel guilty about splitting your time! Your triplets have a wonderful blessing just in the fact that they have 2 siblings to grow up with, play with, and share wonderful stories with. They will be perfectly fine learning to be self-soothers while you pick up toys, sweep the floor, do some dishes... whatever you need to do in order to feel like you're keeping up.

Before you know it, they'll be crawling around with each other and having a grand ol' time : ) You've hung in there 4 months already and this is that stage when they are more alert but not quite independent and I think most moms feel stuck and not quite sure what to do day-to-day. In a few months things will be more playful and you'll be able to share your time better because you won't actually need to move them from place to place... they'll come to you when they want you!

I'm sure you're doing a wonderful job, and would tell any other mom in your position that she was doing great. Now be kind to yourself! : )

mlgd · February 2010

jacobandcrystal:Just wanted to say don't feel guilty about splitting your time! Your triplets have a wonderful blessing just in the fact that they have 2 siblings to grow up with, play with, and share wonderful stories with. They will be perfectly fine learning to be self-soothers while you pick up toys, sweep the floor, do some dishes... whatever you need to do in order to feel like you're keeping up. Before you know it, they'll be crawling around with each other and having a grand ol' time : ) You've hung in there 4 months already and this is that stage when they are more alert but not quite independent and I think most moms feel stuck and not quite sure what to do day-to-day. In a few months things will be more playful and you'll be able to share your time better because you won't actually need to move them from place to place... they'll come to you when they want you!I'm sure you're doing a wonderful job, and would tell any other mom in your position that she was doing great. Now be kind to yourself! : )I totally agree with all of this, and my experience is only limited to DS#1 (my twins are only 8 weeks). In my opinion, 4 months is definitely a new beginning in a way because babies emerge from the "fourth trimester" and are a little more alert and aware. I found myself wondering almost daily "Okay, so what do we do NOW?" I'd usually play with DS on his playmat, read him books in his bouncy seat, walk around the house with him and point out different things, etc. I also think its absolutely fine (and important, actually) to give them some independent play time -- on their playmat or wherever -- while you get some things done. I just wanted to let you know that you are not the first mommy to feel this way, and I only had a singleton the first time around! I have serious respect for all MoMs who have their multiples first, and I can't imagine what it's like to be a first-time parent and to have THREE babies. Hang in there; I'm sure that you're doing a great job!

lnle · February 2010

just wanted to say (((hugs))) and I"ll be in your shoes in a few months and asking you for advice! hang in there...

EverAfterinMi · February 2010

I still have bad days. Wait till the whining starts and they are all following you around! At that age.. there isn't much you can do. I used to call my living room "Curves for babies". I.E. I had every freakin baby apparatus that you could think of and multiple of them. Swings, bouncers, floor mats, then jumperoo's excersaucers.. you name it. I would rotate them and take turns wearing one in the bjorn too. It's hard cause you always have a baby in your arms pretty much.

Hang in there! It gets sooo much better when they sit up and can actually play!

dtwmco · February 2010

I think you've gotten a lot of good suggestions.

As they get older, things will become easier, and other things will become harder. You just learn to do what you can with the babies and the housework.

I used to feel guilty about splitting time, too, with (only) my two, but I really think that things end up turning out ok! You do what you can, and your babies will still love you very much. I have two of the happiest babies in the world who love me very much, and there were plenty of times I needed to leave one of them crying while I tended to the other...

Hang in there. You are being a good mama to your three babies. That takes a supermom!

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