S/O FF car seat

A + J · February 2010

I educated one of my friends on her 9 month old who is 25 pounds FF and she told me very sternly and not so nicely that she didn't need my parenting advice. Then she defriendly me.

MegGary · February 2010

She's an idiot. I'm sorry for her child.

punkfiction_v.3 · February 2010

bc its not your business.

LizzieandGar · February 2010

I'm not really surprised. I know a person would be doing it with the best intentions but being told how to parent (and when you correct someone's parenting, that's what it will feel like), even if it's law where you are and dangerous for your child, rubs people the wrong way, no matter how right you are.

emiliemadison · February 2010

If she was THAT offended, perhaps you weren't "educating" her so much as telling her she was a crappy parent (which, in this particular instance, she is).

JessiRaye · February 2010

Oh my gosh! I'm always open for some friendly advice. Too bad she isn't. Can't believe she defriended you over that. Were you really close friends?

risysmama · February 2010

Yup, this is the exact reason I keep my mouth shut to certain people.

Gin*In*TN · February 2010

punkfiction_v.3:
bc its not your business.

This. "Educating" can also sound an awful lot like "I'm a better parent than you, why don't you do things the same way *I* do because I'm right and you suck as a mother". I would defriend you as well.

A + J · February 2010

JessiRaye:
Oh my gosh! I'm always open for some friendly advice. Too bad she isn't. Can't believe she defriended you over that. Were you really close friends?

Yea, we were pretty close. I didn't say it mean or anything. And I definitely watched how I said it. I said "Oh, you have B forward facing already? My pedi told me it was bast to leave C RF until he was at least a year. Two years if possible. He said it was the safest for children." I don't think that's mean or saying hey you're a sucky parent.

punkfiction_v.3 · February 2010

A + J:
JessiRaye:
Oh my gosh! I'm always open for some friendly advice. Too bad she isn't. Can't believe she defriended you over that. Were you really close friends?
Yea, we were pretty close. I didn't say it mean or anything. And I definitely watched how I said it. I said "Oh, you have B forward facing already? My pedi told me it was bast to leave C RF until he was at least a year. Two years if possible. He said it was the safest for children." I don't think that's mean or saying hey you're a sucky parent.

oh gag.

A + J · February 2010

Gin*In*TN:
punkfiction_v.3:
bc its not your business.
This. "Educating" can also sound an awful lot like "I'm a better parent than you, why don't you do things the same way *I* do because I'm right and you suck as a mother". I would defriend you as well.

Since we're friends I felt I could and should say something. She has a tendency to tell EVERYONE how to raise their children. If she can give me "advice" I should be able to do the same.

mlc92404 · February 2010

punkfiction_v.3:
bc its not your business.

Whoa....wait a minute.........its none of her business to inform her friend of safer ways to have their LO in the car, but today it was EVERYONE'S business (some many times over) to tell NNO what a bad mother she is and how unsafe Q was/is?

punkfiction_v.3 · February 2010

mlc92404:
punkfiction_v.3:
bc its not your business.
Whoa....wait a minute.........its none of her business to inform her friend of safer ways to have their LO in the car, but today it was EVERYONE'S business (some many times over) to tell NNO what a bad mother she is and how unsafe Q was/is?

IRL friends v. online message boards. totally different.

A + J · February 2010

punkfiction_v.3:
A + J:
JessiRaye:
Oh my gosh! I'm always open for some friendly advice. Too bad she isn't. Can't believe she defriended you over that. Were you really close friends?
Yea, we were pretty close. I didn't say it mean or anything. And I definitely watched how I said it. I said "Oh, you have B forward facing already? My pedi told me it was bast to leave C RF until he was at least a year. Two years if possible. He said it was the safest for children." I don't think that's mean or saying hey you're a sucky parent.
oh gag.

I'm not sure what you're meaning with this comment. I did what I thought was best in a nice way. Think what you will.

A + J · February 2010

punkfiction_v.3:
mlc92404:
punkfiction_v.3:
bc its not your business.
Whoa....wait a minute.........its none of her business to inform her friend of safer ways to have their LO in the car, but today it was EVERYONE'S business (some many times over) to tell NNO what a bad mother she is and how unsafe Q was/is?
IRL friends v. online message boards. totally different.

So I should lie to IRL friends but rip the face off of anyone who is wrong online? Hmmm...

punkfiction_v.3 · February 2010

A + J:
punkfiction_v.3:
mlc92404:
punkfiction_v.3:
bc its not your business.
Whoa....wait a minute.........its none of her business to inform her friend of safer ways to have their LO in the car, but today it was EVERYONE'S business (some many times over) to tell NNO what a bad mother she is and how unsafe Q was/is?
IRL friends v. online message boards. totally different.
So I should lie to IRL friends but rip the face off of anyone who is wrong online? Hmmm...

no. you should shut your mouth and let your friends parent.

even if you HAD to say something - a simple "oh he's FF already?" would have sufficed. the rest was just indignant bullshiit.

violetvirgo · February 2010

i don't understand people. it's a freaking safety issue. and it's the law. i don't get how it's a "parenting choice".

i imagine that there was probably equal push back from dumbasses when carseats were first made mandatory for babies/children. can you imagine someone saying "it's my parenting choice to not use a carseat, tyvm" Confused

punkfiction_v.3 · February 2010

violetvirgo:
i don't understand people. it's a freaking safety issue. and it's the law. i don't get how it's a "parenting choice".
i imagine that there was probably equal push back from dumbasses when carseats were first made mandatory for babies/children. can you imagine someone saying "it's my parenting choice to not use a carseat, tyvm"

and there are better ways to say it than "well MY pedi said _____ and actually til 2 is BEST!!"

even a simple "hope you dont get pulled over - thats a pricey ticket" would be funny and get the point across

violetvirgo · February 2010

punkfiction_v.3:
bc its not your business.

just like it's not really our business if dumbass parents leave their kids unattended in the bath?

to me the issue is safety no matter what specific issues it is.

punkfiction_v.3 · February 2010

violetvirgo:
punkfiction_v.3:
bc its not your business.
just like it's not really our business if dumbass parents leave their kids unattended in the bath?
to me the issue is safety no matter what specific issues it is.

no. its none of my business what NNO does either. but since this is a message board, and everyone is bored, we make it our business for fun and to pass time.

A + J · February 2010

punkfiction_v.3:
A + J:
punkfiction_v.3:
mlc92404:
punkfiction_v.3:
bc its not your business.
Whoa....wait a minute.........its none of her business to inform her friend of safer ways to have their LO in the car, but today it was EVERYONE'S business (some many times over) to tell NNO what a bad mother she is and how unsafe Q was/is?
IRL friends v. online message boards. totally different.
So I should lie to IRL friends but rip the face off of anyone who is wrong online? Hmmm...
no. you should shut your mouth and let your friends parent.
even if you HAD to say something - a simple "oh he's FF already?" would have sufficed. the rest was just indignant bullshiit.

It's a law not a parenting choice. Choosing to wait to feed your child solids until 6 months is a parenting choice. (Which she told me I was a bad parent for doing. Go figure)

mlc92404 · February 2010

punkfiction_v.3:
mlc92404:
punkfiction_v.3:
bc its not your business.
Whoa....wait a minute.........its none of her business to inform her friend of safer ways to have their LO in the car, but today it was EVERYONE'S business (some many times over) to tell NNO what a bad mother she is and how unsafe Q was/is?
IRL friends v. online message boards. totally different.

Hellooooooooooooooo hypocrite...........nice to meet you!

violetvirgo · February 2010

punkfiction_v.3:
violetvirgo:
punkfiction_v.3:
bc its not your business.
just like it's not really our business if dumbass parents leave their kids unattended in the bath?
to me the issue is safety no matter what specific issues it is.
no. its none of my business what NNO does either. but since this is a message board, and everyone is bored, we make it our business for fun and to pass time.

true that. i guess i sort of view fb like a big public forum without the anonymity - lol.

A + J · February 2010

punkfiction_v.3:
violetvirgo:
i don't understand people. it's a freaking safety issue. and it's the law. i don't get how it's a "parenting choice".
i imagine that there was probably equal push back from dumbasses when carseats were first made mandatory for babies/children. can you imagine someone saying "it's my parenting choice to not use a carseat, tyvm"
and there are better ways to say it than "well MY pedi said _____ and actually til 2 is BEST!!"
even a simple "hope you dont get pulled over - thats a pricey ticket" would be funny and get the point across

It was a casual conversation. There was no MY pedi... I told her what a professional said was best.

lauren&matt · February 2010

mlc92404:
punkfiction_v.3:
bc its not your business.
Whoa....wait a minute.........its none of her business to inform her friend of safer ways to have their LO in the car, but today it was EVERYONE'S business (some many times over) to tell NNO what a bad mother she is and how unsafe Q was/is?

this x 1000000!!!

SeasideBride06 · February 2010

Yea I had a friend who got upset when I posted about her letting her 8 week old CIO! Her post said "Letting ____ cry it out so she'll learn that I can't hold her forever." All I posted was what my pedi told me about CIO...oh well.

A + J · February 2010

SeasideBride06:
Yea I had a friend who got upset when I posted about her letting her 8 week old CIO! Her post said "Letting ____ cry it out so she'll learn that I can't hold her forever." All I posted was what my pedi told me about CIO...oh well.

Exactly. I think it's harmless to tell the fact.

ToledoDeux · February 2010

Eh. If the offender is so sure that what she's doing is correct, she can accept a little well-intentioned advice without getting her panties in a twist and dramatically "defriending" someone.

Sounds like this isn't the first time she's been told about FFing....and she just doesn't want to change what she's doing.

blueshirt2003 · February 2010

That sucks that she defriended you. IMO, you said it politely.

BTW, those cookies in your siggy look tasty!

punkfiction_v.3 · February 2010

A + J:
punkfiction_v.3:
violetvirgo:
i don't understand people. it's a freaking safety issue. and it's the law. i don't get how it's a "parenting choice".
i imagine that there was probably equal push back from dumbasses when carseats were first made mandatory for babies/children. can you imagine someone saying "it's my parenting choice to not use a carseat, tyvm"
and there are better ways to say it than "well MY pedi said _____ and actually til 2 is BEST!!"
even a simple "hope you dont get pulled over - thats a pricey ticket" would be funny and get the point across

It was a casual conversation. There was no MY pedi... I told her what a professional said was best.

oh really?

-->

A + J:
JessiRaye:
Oh my gosh! I'm always open for some friendly advice. Too bad she isn't. Can't believe she defriended you over that. Were you really close friends?
Yea, we were pretty close. I didn't say it mean or anything. And I definitely watched how I said it. I said "Oh, you have B forward facing already? My pedi told me it was bast to leave C RF until he was at least a year. Two years if possible. He said it was the safest for children." I don't think that's mean or saying hey you're a sucky parent.

A + J · February 2010

punkfiction_v.3:
A + J:
punkfiction_v.3:
violetvirgo:
i don't understand people. it's a freaking safety issue. and it's the law. i don't get how it's a "parenting choice".
i imagine that there was probably equal push back from dumbasses when carseats were first made mandatory for babies/children. can you imagine someone saying "it's my parenting choice to not use a carseat, tyvm"
and there are better ways to say it than "well MY pedi said _____ and actually til 2 is BEST!!"
even a simple "hope you dont get pulled over - thats a pricey ticket" would be funny and get the point across

It was a casual conversation. There was no MY pedi... I told her what a professional said was best.
oh really?

-->
A + J:
JessiRaye:
Oh my gosh! I'm always open for some friendly advice. Too bad she isn't. Can't believe she defriended you over that. Were you really close friends?
Yea, we were pretty close. I didn't say it mean or anything. And I definitely watched how I said it. I said "Oh, you have B forward facing already? My pedi told me it was bast to leave C RF until he was at least a year. Two years if possible. He said it was the safest for children." I don't think that's mean or saying hey you're a sucky parent.

There was no emphasis on MY, hence the capital letters in the previous response "It was a casual conversation. There was no MY pedi... I told her what a professional said was best." As in I wasn't saying it like my pedi or my parenting is better.

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