Did everyone assume you were going to stop working?

DarthBaby · February 2010

Now that we are telling people one of the first things out of everyone's mouth is something along the lines of "Oh guess you aren't going to work anymore".

Which I actually hope to go back to work, but I don't feel that decision is anyones business. I fine myself explaining why it would be beneficial to us for me to go back to work.

I do always say I "hope" to go back to work, because obviously things can change and I may feel differently later. Am I being oversenstive about this?

nygrl79 · February 2010

Those are completely inappropriate comments and often judgmental (either that you "should" stay home or that you "should" work). I don't know what area of work you are in, but in my area (the legal field), the assumption is the opposite, that you are coming back. Those that have asked, have inquired whether I'm coming back full time and I always say that I "plan" to come back full time. If someone was to make a comment to me like you have received, I would NOT explain myself, but instead say "why would you think that?" -- it puts the other person on the spot and basically tells them not in so many words that their question is inappropriate.

jbl126 · February 2010

Honestly, I think people ask that anyway. But yeah, I did get that a lot and I was like, hell yeah I am going back to work. I have to be able to support these babies somehow.

sawyer918 · February 2010

I get that a lot from clients of mine that don't really care about me...but their trip. So I just say I plan to come back...but you never know. I also get when are you leaving? I just say.....you never know with multiples. People are so nosey.

BizEB · February 2010

No one who personally knows me has ever assumed I'd stay at home, even after we found out about the twins. I've always been a super career type- I've done very well and I love what I do and I think anyone who really knows me knows that I wouldn't want to SAH. I think where I live, it's expected that women work so that's probably why I never get those kind of comments.

pea-kay · February 2010

yeah. i still get that from people i meet. "you must not work." well, whatever. all you can say is that you plan to. it's no one's business! yeesh.

trtlvr · February 2010

I get all of these questions and I basically just say, I'm taking the full three months off. Then if they are like, but it will be so much work and day care is so expensive, I say...so you don't know anyone else with two or more kids that work full time? That usually shuts them up.

babya2010 · February 2010

For the most part everyone I work with is assuming I'm going to stop working, which is the plan...but I didn't want to tell them that up front in case -God forbid- something happens in the next few months (with the babies, or DHs job...) that would make going back to work a necessity. In any event, the company I work for is absolutely awesome and my boss has already told me that although he knows my intentions, he would find a spot for me regardless of if I change my mind at 35 weeks pregnant or after I've been off for 7 months. (He even said he'd welcome me back if I came looking for a job in 3+ years!) I thought that was really nice.

energyzer · February 2010

I heard it all the time but I did get it with my singleton pregnancy too, just not quite as much. I think people are just curious. I don't take too much offense to it.

kaiteedidit · February 2010

I never got that comment when I was pregnant with my singleton but I get it all the time during this pregnancy. I hate it when people ask me that!

susanc07 · February 2010

i used to say we couldn't afford for me not to work. that usually cut the questions short.

Temp159135562506975 · February 2010

nobody assumed I would stop working- but they often asked --- i actually went to PT after having the twins - but would have been FT if I wasn't so lucky that a position opened at my job when it did (they are hard to come by).

stay strong with your decision to work - you have to be confident about being a working mom - there will always be people who will judge you for doing it --- screw them- it's your family, your life.

I love being a working mom - it makes me a better mom because i work- and i am a better employee b/c i'm a mom.

nobody asks men that question which pisses me off.

jenkm · February 2010

nygrl79:
Those are completely inappropriate comments and often judgmental (either that you "should" stay home or that you "should" work). I don't know what area of work you are in, but in my area (the legal field), the assumption is the opposite, that you are coming back. Those that have asked, have inquired whether I'm coming back full time and I always say that I "plan" to come back full time. If someone was to make a comment to me like you have received, I would NOT explain myself, but instead say "why would you think that?" -- it puts the other person on the spot and basically tells them not in so many words that their question is inappropriate.

Me too - pretty much word for word. I'm a lawyer so the question isn't whether I'm coming back, but to what extent schedule-wise. And that's only b/c of the twins situation - if I were having one baby people would assume I'd be coming back ASAP and full time.

It's a sucky situation to be in either way, a lot of pressure.

volgirl123 · February 2010

kaiteedidit:
I never got that comment when I was pregnant with my singleton but I get it all the time during this pregnancy. I hate it when people ask me that!

volgirl123 · February 2010

kaiteedidit:
I never got that comment when I was pregnant with my singleton but I get it all the time during this pregnancy. I hate it when people ask me that!

volgirl123 · February 2010

kaiteedidit:
I never got that comment when I was pregnant with my singleton but I get it all the time during this pregnancy. I hate it when people ask me that!

This!

I actually had one person say "It' been nice working with you!" when I told her. I never liked her anaway. Ha!

mmbench · February 2010

Actually, that was one of the few comments I didn't hear. Everyone expected me to go back to work apparently.

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