Separation anxiety at night?

wendyj · February 2010

I'm starting to wonder if this is possible. Ian's been a great sleeper since 6 months. We did Ferber at that time, and once he adjusted, all we'd have to do was lay him in his crib at night and he settle in and go to sleep. However, for the last few weeks, bedtime and naptime have been a chore. If we lay him in right away, he begins to wail, scream and cry, so in order to make life easier for all of us, we'll rock him to sleep before laying him in his crib. What's worse, he'll wake up anywhere between 3 and 5am and start all over again. Today, he was awake at 3:30am, and didn't fall back to sleep until almost 5am.

I noticed tonight that as I laid him down, he woke up, saw me, then turned to his side. He did this one more time before he fell asleep for good. Could this all be some sort of separation anxiety? We've tried to do Ferber again, but he is just not having it. I really don't know what else to do, and I was really hoping to find a solution this week while we're home on school break. Has anyone even come close to dealing with anything like this?

JenJar · February 2010

Not sure if this would work for you, but it's an idea - at bedtime, we don't have an issue....we do the same thing every night (book, song while rocking, get into bed). But sometimes at naptime, if I just put him in the crib, he cries. Now, we read before he gets in his bed for a nap and I let him take the book with him. He often will sit in there and look at the book before falling asleep.

Does he have a pillow in there? Maybe he could use your pillowcase so he smells you....or put a shirt of yours in the bed with him for him to snuggle with. A night light maybe? Not sure...hope it all works itself out soon!

Mrs._Vapor · February 2010

Our situation sounds almost identical. We however did not try the Ferber method. Our pedi suggested the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers by Elizabeth Pantley. I've read a couple chapters and so far everything sounds great. We've tried every suggestion in there but it doesn't seem to be working. We even went out and bought a toddler bed thinking he hated his crib. DS was sleeping through the night since he was 2 months old and up until his molars came in, 4 at once, at 17 months, it's been hell. We get the routine down pat for bedtime but he wakes up 2 to 3 hours after that and refuses to go back to bed. He holds his blanket and won't stop crying until we pick him up. As embarassing as it is, he's been sleeping in our bed once he wakes up until the morning. I'm sorry I do not have any suggestions for you but do know you're not alone. I'm at a loss of what to do as well.

kac0807 · February 2010

Could very well be. Or maybe could it be something scared him one time while he was sleeping....bad dream, etc and he's afraid to fall asleep.

kac0807 · February 2010

Mrs._Vapor:
but he wakes up 2 to 3 hours after that and refuses to go back to bed. He holds his blanket and won't stop crying until we pick him up.

This definitely sounds like night terrors or bad dreams. Someone mentioned it to us when T was doing this about a month ago. They said they're baby had it too. So we searched online a little bit and it does say that waking 2 to 3 hours after being put down is definitely a sign of bad dreams or night terrors. Try looking into that more.

Mrs._Vapor · February 2010

We thought that was the case too. We brought it up to the pedi but he didn't seem to think it was the issue. Now that I read up on it, it sounds like it could be a mix of both. Whatever it is, it is exhausting!

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