How to tell guests not to wear jeans? — The Bump
Baby Showers

How to tell guests not to wear jeans?

My shower is going to be at a golf club we are members at.  The thing is you can not wear jeans at this place, and for my bridal shower I remember that 2 guests had on jeans  (it was at a nice restaurant). Is it tacky to write country club attire on the invitation?

Re: How to tell guests not to wear jeans?

  • What are they gonna do? Kick your guests out for wearing jeans? I wouldn't consider having my baby shower at a place with a dress code. That is tacky IMO. Even if it is a really nice place. Otherwise, you're wording is probably the best it can be in that situation.

    EDIT: spelling.

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  • That's the rules, i'm sure they won't allow people not to come it if they do have them on.
  • That IS hard to word. Use what you got, or maybe something like "let's get dressed up and celebrate Baby Smith's arrival at City Country Club, etc..." Haha. That's all I could think of. I'd hate for your guests to show  up and feel uncomfortable because they wore the "wrong" thing. If there aren't a huge amount of guests, maybe word of mouth would be an even better option?
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  • It's not tacky if that is the rule of the establishment. 
  • image collrob2101:
    That's the rules, i'm sure they won't allow people not to come it if they do have them on.

    Talk to someone in an Administrative position at the club about it. Unless it is going to bother you personally and no one is going to kick them out, I wouldn't worry about saying anything at all unless someone calls you and asks what to wear.

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  • As a guest, i would want to know.   Plus, this isn't a "Well, I WANT people to be dressy".  This is a "they HAVE to be dressy" in order to attend.  Your guests need to know this!

    I see nothing wrong w/ saying "Country club attire", or even stick another slip of paper in the invitation that says that the country club has a dress code and that jeans aren't allowed.  "We apologize for the inconvienence" blah blah blah.

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  • Yes, it is hard to word...lol  We could do the word of mouth thing too, the people that wore the jeans were MIL's 2 cousins so maybe she can give people a head's up and also when people RSVP to my sister she can mention it. 
  • image K.a.T.e:
    It's not tacky if that is the rule of the establishment. 

    I'm sorry but telling people what to wear to a shower is tacky. Now, I can understand if it is a small group of people and you can get word around by mouth but most of the time, you have a friend or family member that doesn't have nice things to wear and doesn't have the money to buy something to wear to a shower. It's kind of snobbish in my opinion.

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  • image jiffy-pop:

    image K.a.T.e:
    It's not tacky if that is the rule of the establishment. 

    I'm sorry but telling people what to wear to a shower is tacky. Now, I can understand if it is a small group of people and you can get word around by mouth but most of the time, you have a friend or family member that doesn't have nice things to wear and doesn't have the money to buy something to wear to a shower. It's kind of snobbish in my opinion.

    But this isn't the OP's personal preference.  This is a RULE set up by the club.  The OP doesn't have a choice.  If she were saying "I want people to look nice!", then yes - it's tacky to 'tell people what to wear'.

    But when there is a chance they won't even be allowed IN if they are in jeans, it's not tacky. It's NECESSARY! 

    I love to wear jeans.  i wore jeans to my shower.  But if I were going to a location where I weren't allowed to, I would want to KNOW THAT so that I don't look like an a$$ when I'm not allowed in.

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  • image EastCoastBride:
    image jiffy-pop:

    image K.a.T.e:
    It's not tacky if that is the rule of the establishment. 

    I'm sorry but telling people what to wear to a shower is tacky. Now, I can understand if it is a small group of people and you can get word around by mouth but most of the time, you have a friend or family member that doesn't have nice things to wear and doesn't have the money to buy something to wear to a shower. It's kind of snobbish in my opinion.

    But this isn't the OP's personal preference.  This is a RULE set up by the club.  The OP doesn't have a choice.  If she were saying "I want people to look nice!", then yes - it's tacky to 'tell people what to wear'.

    But when there is a chance they won't even be allowed IN if they are in jeans, it's not tacky. It's NECESSARY! 

    I love to wear jeans.  i wore jeans to my shower.  But if I were going to a location where I weren't allowed to, I would want to KNOW THAT so that I don't look like an a$$ when I'm not allowed in.

    While I agree with you about being embarrassed about being the only one there with jeans on, she also said that she didn't think they would turn someone away with jeans on. Which is why I suggest speaking with someone at the club about the possibility if someone did happen to show up with jeans on. Again, I wouldn't want to have a baby shower at a place that requires you to dress a certain way. But I don't know the whole situation, that may be her only option of having a baby shower.

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  • I think its perfectly fine to put Country Club attire on the invites.  Its no different than stating a wedding is black tie or something of the sort.  I would rather know what I should wear than showing up completely under-dressed and feeling like a fool
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  • I totally agree with ECB.  Jiffy-pop...she said they would NOT let the person in if they show up in jeans...so it is not a question that the person might feel out of place because they won't even be in attendance.  They MIGHT feel embarrassed if they are asked to leave...epsecially if they come with someone who IS appropriately dressed.  Whether YOU would want your shower at such an establishment is not the question.

    I went to my niece's shower and it was the same thing.  It was at an exclusive country club with a dress code.  No jeans and shirts on men had to have a collar (meaning no T-shirts).  It is their rules and they can do as they want since they OWN the establishment.  I appreciated very much having a slip of paper in the invite giving this info.  It was actually a copy of the country club's rule on dress code.  I talk to my niece rarely so word of mouth just wouldn't have worked out.  Also, if I had not known and wore jeans I'd be a bit upset that I had driven 2 hours to a shower I was not allowed to attend once I got there!

    Establishments like this normally do not "bend" the rules because if they did it for her they would have to do it for everyone.  KWIM?

  • I can't imagine someone wearing jeans to a shower, let alone a shower at a country club, but I guess they do. So I would say in small print at the bottom "Country Club Attire"
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  • I don't think it's tacky at all to address the issue of the venue's dress code on the invitation, but I'm not sure how I would word it.  And don't even feel bad for a second that you or the people throwing your shower picked that venue.  If your guests are excited to join you in celebration, they shouldn't have an issue with a dress code.  And if they do, I'd say that's their loss.
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  • image jennygirlmt:
    I can't imagine someone wearing jeans to a shower, let alone a shower at a country club, but I guess they do. So I would say in small print at the bottom "Country Club Attire"
    I wore jeans to my shower, and some of my guests did too.  But they knew that I was planning on doing so and it was at a local restaurant where jeans were totally fine. 

    I think a dressed up pair of jeans often looks nicer than some "sunday best" outfits I see people wear! 

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  • We are having our shower this saturday at our country club and if people want to wear jeans I could care less! 

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  • image VanderLaan:

    We are having our shower this saturday at our country club and if people want to wear jeans I could care less! 

    You obviously didn't read this.  Its not the OP's choice.  Its country club rules

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  • I would write, "business casual attire", as some people don't know what "country club attire" is, and it's not really standardly listed.  Or, simply put, "No jeans, please."  While the second is more direct, and by no means rude or brash, it may embarrass the people who wore jeans to the last event.
  • I think "Country Club Attire" is a good choice for the wording.  If people don't know what that means, they'll probably ask the host for clarification.

    I wouldn't put "Business Casual" because there are about 1,000 different interpretations of that phrase.

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  • I would make it as clear as possible for your guests.  Some may not know what "country club attire" means.  "Business casual" is also something that has a broad spectrum of interpretation.  I think it is best to be direct and have something somewhere (probably a slip of paper inserted in the invitation) that says that the club does not permit jeans.  Perhaps this can be included with directions to the club?  Check and see what the club offers.  A lot of times they have a map and/or information about the club that members can provide to guests.  It usually includes the dress requirements.
  • If it's at a country club, people will have to RSVP, correct?  I'd just have the person who is handling the RSVP's tell guests who are coming when they call what the rules are, something along the lines of "Great, you're coming!  By the way, we wanted to give you a head's up just so you don't feel uncomfortable, the country club where we are hosting the event has a bit of a dress code, nothing too fancy, but no jeans."

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  • image hopefulmom:

    I went to my niece's shower and it was the same thing.  It was at an exclusive country club with a dress code.  No jeans and shirts on men had to have a collar (meaning no T-shirts).  It is their rules and they can do as they want since they OWN the establishment. 

    I think this is the rule for most country clubs- be sure to state in the invite so no one gets left out!  I don't think it's snobbish (but some could say belonging to a country club in the first place is snobbish.)  F' them :)  Enjoy your shower and help all your family and friends enjoy it w/o being self concious. 

    ps- EVERYone owns at least one pair of dress pants/skirt/dress. Comeon

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  • Can you say "Country Club Dress Code Required", then if anyone has any questions about what the dress code is they can call you or the hostess.
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  • image mysticporter:
    If it's at a country club, people will have to RSVP, correct?  I'd just have the person who is handling the RSVP's tell guests who are coming when they call what the rules are, something along the lines of "Great, you're coming!  By the way, we wanted to give you a head's up just so you don't feel uncomfortable, the country club where we are hosting the event has a bit of a dress code, nothing too fancy, but no jeans."

    Lots of people show up without RSVPing and this is common knowledge. My shower was at a hall and we needed a head count and people still didn't RSVP.

    You have the ones that think they don't have to because you know they are coming.

    You have the ones who wait until the last minute and call like the night before.

    Then there are the ones who just show up. 

    Plus there are times when people can't answer the phone and guests have to leave a message. 

    If you want people to be aware of something, put it in the invite. Relying on a phone call that may or may not happen just doesn't seem to wise.

  • "Country Club Attire - No jeans allowed" followed by Thank You
  • You could just write "dressy casual" or "Sunday attire".

    To be honest I wouldn't know what country club attire is. I've been to some where men have to wear shirts with collars at ALL times but jeans are allowed. And some where there are no jeans/tee shirts/ shorts allowed - no excptions.

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  • image MCC1010:

    You could just write "dressy casual" or "Sunday attire".

    To be honest I wouldn't know what country club attire is. I've been to some where men have to wear shirts with collars at ALL times but jeans are allowed. And some where there are no jeans/tee shirts/ shorts allowed - no excptions.

    I woudn't do this.  Believe it or not, to some people dressy casual or Sunday attire does mean jeans. 

    I would put it on the invite, and not in a piece of paper that could be lost.  I would do this as people have pointed out that not everyone RSVP's. 

    It is not rude to convey the dress code.  Rather, it is just the opposite.  You are being considerate that people come to the shower are not turned away for wearing jeans.  How are they going to know if they aren't told?

    The suggestion that I think has been the best so far was the "Country Club Attire - No Jeans Thank You" has been the best yet. 

    OP - I hope that you have a great shower! 

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  • On a little insert include this:

    Due to strict Country Club Dress Requirements, please be aware of the following policies:

    Then list, or include the little note that the CC puts out to the members regarding attire.

    I know you are saying no jeans, but depending on the CC, some places even have requirements as to the length of the shorts and dresses that are worn...even if they are a pair of $250 golf shorts. We golfed one place that had a 2 inches above the knee policy...and they enforced it. By including a "notice from the club" it, IMHO, will seem more like a "this is them, not us", sort of a thing.

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  • image northtamarack:
    image MCC1010:

    You could just write "dressy casual" or "Sunday attire".

    To be honest I wouldn't know what country club attire is. I've been to some where men have to wear shirts with collars at ALL times but jeans are allowed. And some where there are no jeans/tee shirts/ shorts allowed - no excptions.

    I woudn't do this.  Believe it or not, to some people dressy casual or Sunday attire does mean jeans. 

    I would put it on the invite, and not in a piece of paper that could be lost.  I would do this as people have pointed out that not everyone RSVP's. 

    It is not rude to convey the dress code.  Rather, it is just the opposite.  You are being considerate that people come to the shower are not turned away for wearing jeans.  How are they going to know if they aren't told?

    The suggestion that I think has been the best so far was the "Country Club Attire - No Jeans Thank You" has been the best yet. 

    OP - I hope that you have a great shower! 

     

    After I read this I have to agree you are right. Ignore my suggestion of dressy casual or sunday attire

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  • "Country Club Attire" is a perfectly acceptable way to word it on the invite

    If guests don't know what that is, they can google it, ask when they RSVP, or if they are really concerned they can call the club (who's info will be on the invite) and ask. I really wouldn't stress any more about it

    I personally think it's "tacky" to wear jeans to a shower unless you KNOW it's acceptable for the situation AND being held at a casual venue. I always err on the side of overdressing, but that's just how I was raised. I just laughed a little at the PP that labeled a country club dress code as "tacky." Our definitions of the word are vastly different

     

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  • image EastCoastBride:

    stick another slip of paper in the invitation that says that the country club has a dress code and that jeans aren't allowed.  "We apologize for the inconvienence" blah blah blah.

    This.  It is polite and informative.

    Heather

  • image ToBeFrank:

    image mysticporter:
    If it's at a country club, people will have to RSVP, correct?  I'd just have the person who is handling the RSVP's tell guests who are coming when they call what the rules are, something along the lines of "Great, you're coming!  By the way, we wanted to give you a head's up just so you don't feel uncomfortable, the country club where we are hosting the event has a bit of a dress code, nothing too fancy, but no jeans."

    Lots of people show up without RSVPing and this is common knowledge. My shower was at a hall and we needed a head count and people still didn't RSVP.

    You have the ones that think they don't have to because you know they are coming.

    You have the ones who wait until the last minute and call like the night before.

    Then there are the ones who just show up. 

    Plus there are times when people can't answer the phone and guests have to leave a message. 

    If you want people to be aware of something, put it in the invite. Relying on a phone call that may or may not happen just doesn't seem to wise.

    If someone doesn't care enough to RSVP, I wouldn't be particularly concerned about them feeling uncomfortable at the shower in jeans, honestly...the same people are just as likely going to chuck the invite in the trash and wear whatever no matter what you say in the invite (if they ignore "RSVP", why would they pay attention to "Country club attire?").  I see the point about people needing to leave a message, though.


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  • I would also suggest the insert card with the dress code.
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  • image megdrew1218:
    That IS hard to word. Use what you got, or maybe something like "let's get dressed up and celebrate Baby Smith's arrival at City Country Club, etc..." Haha. That's all I could think of. I'd hate for your guests to show  up and feel uncomfortable because they wore the "wrong" thing. If there aren't a huge amount of guests, maybe word of mouth would be an even better option?

    I like this, "lets all get dressed up and celebrate..." I think it gets the point across without sounding like there is a "uniform" required to enter the shower.

  • You could say - Country Club Attire

    Or you could say - Country Club Attire (no jeans)

    One is explicit and that's that. Totally clear.

    The other is still vague and will cause people to wonder what it means and call around to ask. I would assume most people might guess it means no jeans, but you never know.

     

  • I'm coming to this one late, but I thought I'd give my two cents. It seems to me that she isn't actually saying they won't be allowed in - she said two people showed up to her bridal shower there in jeans and were not kicked out - so technically people can come in jeans without being kicked out.

     

    I'd do a separate insert. It's easy to glance over "country club attire" on an actual insert - plus it doesn't imply a must. If she does an insert explaining it's the rules, then guests will get it and see it's not her, it's the club.

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  • image sarahbear:
    "Country Club Attire - No jeans allowed" followed by Thank You

    This.  If I received an invite that only stated "Country Club Attire", I wouldn't automatically link that to "no jeans" in my mind.

     
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  • First of all, I couldn't imagine not dressing up for a shower but that's just me.

    I don't think it's rude to include that the country club has a dress code.  It's their rule, not yours.


     
  • i would either put 'cocktail attire' or something like that at the bottom of the invitation so that if people don't know what to wear, they can ask when they rsvp.
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