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Told my BFF..(long)

amaksym05amaksym05 member
in Infertility
Hi! I just need to get something off my chest. I was talking with my Best friend last night and we were discussing her little girl who will Turns 2 this week. Then we go on the topic of when she will try for #2 And she said prob when she turns 3 because they are not ready yet Since her DD was a surprise and weren?t planning a fam yet. But any wayI said yea me and DH are trying and going to doctors to see what we need to do. She knows I have PCOS and was always jealous growing up becauseI never got a period and she always had bad cramps. Who knew how nowI wish I had AF and regular cramps.   So she asks like what do I need to do..For fertiles they have no idea.. I tell her we just did 3 rounds of Clomid and we are now going to a new RE and taking it to the next step. She asks how far would I take it? She saysYour not going to do that IVF/ IUI thing right!? I say well if we get to that point Yes..Why? She thinks it?s unnatural and OMG look at Jon and Kate andThat Octo mom??She said it?s just not right to have that many kids at once. I am kind of hurt because she doesn?t get it..I would Think she would be behind me to reach my lifetime dream of being a mom.But I guess for people outside the IF world all they see is what is portrayed And I guess Jon and Kate and Octomom is what is out there.   I am going to try to educate her a bit about it but I was just taken back on her reaction.I think I am going to wait to tell any more of my friends until we know ourNext step..Sorry for going on about this and thank you for your time and support! ~Ann


 
Dx: PCOS, Anovulatory, Amenorrhea 2006
TTC: Sept 2008
IVF#1 Cancelled due to breast biopsy.05/01/20

IVF#1.2- 9/2010 - Cancelled Oversurpressed

IVF#2 Microdose Lupron 10/2010 Beta 11/09=BFN
IVF#3 2/2011 - 2 blasts(2/25) Beta 03/11 =BFN
IVF#4 Lupron 01/02 =2 blasts, beta's 1-4 198,234,398,3100!!BFP
FET 3/2014 2 blasts BETA 3/20=BFP TWINS EDD 11/27 TEAM PINK!!!                   
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Re: Told my BFF..(long)

  • roselln2roselln2
    Ann, you're right... It sounds like your BFF really doesn't know anything about the process. And unfortunately, irresponsible people like Jon and Kate and Octomom haven't really helped the situation.  Good luck educating her! I've told several friends, and once they understood more about everything, they became very supportive.
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  • mrslovebugmrslovebug
    It is true that people base their view of IVF on the publicized cases of Jon and Kate/ Octomom.  Good Luck with whatever you decide to do, and good luck educating your friend!
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  • k-martk-mart

    I'm sorry you didn't get the reaction you wanted. It's great that you are making the effort to educate her. I hope she steps up to the plate and is ther for you.

    I have had several friends that I have tried to confide in about IF and as soon as I hear negative things, it makes me run the other way. I wish IF didn't have such a bad wrap and people took the time to understand it.

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  • amaksym05amaksym05 member

    Thanks ladies.. I don?t know why I was so surprised at her reaction..

     I guess always Knew I would need help

    having babies since I never got AF naturally and I always knew

    I had PCOS except growing up they never had a name for it.

     I never Looked at IVF has this bad thing it just bothers me

    That there is this lack of understanding about it..


     
    Dx: PCOS, Anovulatory, Amenorrhea 2006
    TTC: Sept 2008
    IVF#1 Cancelled due to breast biopsy.05/01/20

    IVF#1.2- 9/2010 - Cancelled Oversurpressed

    IVF#2 Microdose Lupron 10/2010 Beta 11/09=BFN
    IVF#3 2/2011 - 2 blasts(2/25) Beta 03/11 =BFN
    IVF#4 Lupron 01/02 =2 blasts, beta's 1-4 198,234,398,3100!!BFP
    FET 3/2014 2 blasts BETA 3/20=BFP TWINS EDD 11/27 TEAM PINK!!!                   
    image

     


     

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  • Edwina.McDunnoughEdwina.McDunnough
    I am sorry that your friend was not as supportive as you had hoped, but with a little education she may change her mind. The media has blown bad practices out into the mainstream consciousness, and hopefully your friend will see that that is not medically condoned or something you are interested in. Good luck.
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  • iluvadamiluvadam
    Sorry she wasn't sensitive to your feelings.  I def think you need to educate her more so that she will be a better friend to you during you journey.  This is not an easy process and we need all the support and love we can get.  GL!
    Dx with severe endometriosis. DS#1 conceived with Met and TI. TTC#2 for 2.5 yrs. Dx 2nd IF. 4 clomid cycles, 2 IUIs, Finally IVF#1 w/ICSI worked for us! twins born 35w3d. Unexpected total hysterectomy 6/11. Now on the HRT train.

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  • maddychickmaddychick member
    I have gotten the same reaction from friends as well.  I have also always had PCOS and as a teen it was great, now that we are TTC it's not so much.  I told my own mother the other day that I was going to an RE and would probably start out with IUI's and her reaction was "sick".  It made me not want to talk to her about grandchildren anymore.  How is it any different than getting pregnant naturally, I don't get it.  It's probably a good thing I live far away.
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  • c0debabec0debabe

    When I discussed IF treatment with my mother (who in everything is extremely supportive), even she couldn't help bringing up Octomom.  It's what's out there.   So I had to talk to her about monitoring, about embryo transfer, eSET, etc. 

    We haven't kept our IF/treatment a secret and now my mom is great at setting people straight when they think I'm going to end up with 6 babies.

    I'm sorry your friend didn't immediately act supportive.  It's hard to know the right thing to say when you don't know anything about the subject.  Let her know the facts and then you will be able to judge whether or not she's a good friend.

    DS #1 on the way after 2 cycles of ART (IVF+FET) EDD 7/3/11
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