- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Breastfeeding
ibis
member
LLL couldn't help me
ibis
member
I'm so frustrated right now. I saw several LCs while I was in the hospital and after 4 wks of painful BFing I finally made it to a LLL meeting. They pretty much just told me it's not supposed to hurt but they can't tell me what is wrong, even though I BF my baby right in front of a group leader.
My nipples have that lipstick look after a feeding and I know the latch is wrong, but I can't fix it. I'm about a week away from giving up on BFing.
I'm so angry with the whole BFing culture right now. All the focus is on convincing pregnant women to BF. Once you have your baby there is just NO support to be had. I've read everything ever written about BFing by now. If one more person tells me to use lanolin or a nipple shield I'm going to punch someone.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: LLL couldn't help me
Did anyone put their finger in your baby's mouth to make sure his tongue isn't too tight? I had "horrendously traumatized nipples" as my LC told me at 2-3 weeks- I was so blood and scabby. It was awful. My LC felt around in his mouth and said "no wonder" because his mouth was so tiny I could barely fit my breast in his mouth. She had me do "finger excercises" with him, where I'd put my finger in his mouth and press down on his tongue. I also used a nipple shield, while I healed......that totally saved me. Oops, sorry, just read you are going to punch me. Ok....so why are are you so against a nipple sheild? It saved me with both my kids, I fully believe I never would have bfed for as long as I did without it. and I had a rough time with DS1- he lost way too much weight, I supplemented, my supply dropped, I had to pump nonstop to bring it up, he had a bad latch, I had constant clogged ducts etc etc etc. Nipple sheild helped. Sorry to say!
Go to Kellymom.com in the meantime for support and post this exact post on their 0-6 board and see what kind of support/advice they can give you....I lived on this website when I was bfing. Good luck! Happy mommy=happy baby, so do what you need to to get through this!!!! And don't forget to enjoy your baby!
No, they didn't check his mouth. Only one person actually came over to give us any personal attention and she just watched me BF for a minute and couldn't tell what was wrong.
The nipple shield... I tried one and it was 100x more painful than just a bad latch. I don't know why. Maybe I have the wrong size, I'm not sure. But that damaged my nipples more than anything else I've done so I ditched it.
I'll try kellymom too, thanks.
I'm sorry that you are feeling so alone and disheartened right now. I sure hope that you can find an answer before this week is up! (or you give the deadline a little longer)
I'm going to assume that the LCs did check for this... but I have to ask- did they check for tongue tie? My 1st son had that, and we never got it diagnosed/ corrected in infancy- which was a shame. When he was a teeny baby (5 weeks early) I also had that creased lipstick shaped nipple- but it stopped being a painful problem as he grew into a bigger baby.
Just a FYI- LLL is a mother to mother support group- and the LLL leader is trained in group dynamics, to lead the meeting, direct the flow of conversation and also highly trained in breastfeeding issues... what questions to ask a mother (in person or on the phone) so the mother can properly explain her situation... BUT a LLL leader is not supposed to outright give advice- ("You should do X,Y and then Z") they aren't supposed to touch you or your baby- they are NOT a medical professional (they might be a nurse or a LC but they don't need to be) and they are volunteers- they don't get paid a thing - they are supposed to help you, by being supportive and compassionate and connecting your with other mothers- to build a social support, to find answers to your own problem. So I just want you to understand her role- and if you are frustrated- that's understandable- but it's not exactly fair for your to be mad at her/LLL as if she let you down because her job is not what you thought it is.
Hugs to you mama! I hope you feel better soon!
I know EXACTLY how you feel. You deserve more help. You need to see someone who will sit with you for an hour while you feed your baby and will be hands on. Can you ask your pedi or hospital for a GREAT LC rec?
Try a bigger nipple sheild. I had to use the biggest one. It may "pinch" for the first 30 seconds or so, but once you have a letdown, it should feel more comfortable. I'd give it another try, find a good LC, and get on kellymom.com
Sometimes my nipples look like "lipstick tubes" after Emma nurses. Sometimes it does hurt me and other times I don't really feel it. If I feel her latch is wrong then I tug on her chin and try to get her to open her mouth wider to take more of the nipple in her mouth.
I know what you mean about being ready to throw in the towel. I've been nursing Emma since birth but now that I am back to work and my case load is increasing (I have 19 to work and get to prosecution) I do not have the time during the day to stop what I'm doing and pump. I still nurse her at night and in the morning though. I seriously feel that it isn't enough, like I'm not doing enough.
The nipple shield and lanolin did nothing for me. If one side hurt more than the other then I would suffer through it and put her to that specific side more often to try and toughen the nipple more. It helped but some days are worse than others.
I'm sorry you're still having trouble, ibis. I'm having a similar problem. My nipples definitely have that lipstick look after feeding. I'm actually kind of glad to hear other people have the same problem. I thought I just had whacky nipples
. I've been working on getting DS off of using the nipple shield because I hate having to use it too. But maybe the previous posters are right about trying a different size shield. I had a lot of pain from the shield in the beginning because it cause little blisters I guess from the friction. I started putting some lanolin on before putting the shield on and that helped some.
I hope you're able to get things figured out. I know how you feel about wanting to give up.
I'm sorry about my negative attitude about LLL but it was SO frustrating to sit there for 2 hrs and hear about how great BFing is and how it doesn't hurt, and not get any help. That is not support for someone like me who is suffering severe pain EVERY DAY.
I'm beginning to think that he may be tongue tied. What do I do about this, call the pedi?
We were told DS had tongue tie while we were in the hospital. If you think Miles has it then you can ask the pedi to check it out or you could even go straight to calling an oral surgeon. The oral surgeon we went to said he often had people bring in their babies to see if they had it. If he does have it, it's a very simple and quick procedure to fix it. Try to look at his tongue and see if his frenulum comes all the way to the tip of his tongue. When he sticks his tongue out the tip will look sort of heart shaped. Maybe try googling it to see if you can find some pictures of what it looks like.
I too am having issues with BFing and pain. I spoke with a LC at the hospital who first thought we had thrush so I made an appointment to visit with a LC. At our appointment it was determined DD is tongue tied and this is causing me to have the "lipstick" looking nipples and why it hurts so much.
I just called and made an appointment with an ENT to examine her tongue tie. They have to see her before she is 6 weeks, otherwise they have told me the procedure must be done at a hospital. If they end up cutting it and BFing still hurts I will finally make the switch to EPing because I can't handle the pain anymore.
Hey ibis!
First, congrats on your baby!!!!
Second, I'm so sorry you're having problems.
I agree with others that it sounds like your baby might be tongue tied. My daughter was tongue tied, and my nipples were HORRIBLE. I was in so much pain. Thankfully, we had a great LC at the hospital who realized that she was tongue tied. She gave us a bunch of information on it, and gave us the name of a doctor who would cut it.
Basically, they think tongue tie is the number one reason women give up on breastfeeding. But, if you talk to pediatricians, they'll tell you that tongue tie is no big deal, it doesn't cause problems, there's no real reason to cut it, etc. That's because most women can't stand the pain -- by the time they mention it to the pediatrician, they gave up breastfeeding long ago, and they never connect the two. A few pediatricians will do the procedure. Mine wouldn't, so we actually ended up going to see a different pediatrician (who is also a LC) who did it for us. You can also ask your ped for a referral to an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor.
The procedure itself is SO easy. It's really just a little nothing procedure. They don't use anesthesia at all because they don't need to. The baby doesn't have nerve endings there yet. DD was angry that there were instruments in her mouth, but for the actual cut she didn't even cry. There were just a few drops of blood on a little piece of gauze, and she was all fixed.
I'd also look into finding a good LC that will see you now. Can you still see the ones from your hospital? Were they any good? If not, find a better one. Ask your ped, your local Nest board, friends with babies, anyone.
Oh, and lanolin? Child's play. Everyone talks about it like it's some miracle. It isn't. Well, maybe it is if you have normal nipple pain. I was blistered, cracked, and bleeding. Here's what the pediatrician/LC said -- first, wash your nipples with soap. Don't worry about drying them out -- they're infected, and they need to be cleaned. Second, use polysporin on them. It'll actually heal the cuts, instead of just "preventing" them like lanolin is supposed to do. You don't have to wash off the polysporin -- just put it on after every feeding. Also, I actually moved beyond polysporin. There's something called Newman's All Purpose Nipple Ointment (or APNO). It's an ointment that a compounding pharmacist has to make. My OB's office had never heard of it (I'd read about it on here), and I don't even know where to find a compounding pharmacy. But, you can make your own at home -- mix equal parts polysporin, Lotrimin AF (yes, for athlete's foot), and Cortaid. It really is a miracle worker.
Finally, nipple shield. I was in so much pain that nursing with the nipple shield still hurt like HELL. It didn't hurt more than nursing without it (like you said it did for you), but it sure didn't hurt less. If your son really is tongue tied, the nipple shield should allow him to latch properly. That won't necessarily mean it won't hurt, but it will mean that he will be able to empty the breast and get enough to eat. (Are you noticing that he seems to take forever to eat? My daughter was and it was because she was physically incapable of latching properly, so she wasn't getting enough to eat unless she literally nursed constantly.) It might be worth another try. Get the HUGE ones. I actually have small nipples, but I use the huge nipple shields. The Medela ones that are 24 mm.
Big hugs. If you want to talk anymore about the tongue tie, I'd be MORE than happy to. Send me an email at darcylongfellow at gmail.
Thank you Darcy!!
I remember reading somewhere that most women who give up on BFing bc of pain have a tongue tied baby... it might have been Ina May?
I'll try the homemade APNO too. I'm so glad you know what I mean about lanolin. Seriously it's like telling someone with a broken leg to put a bandaid on it.
I'll even look into the bigger nipple shield, hell.
This afternoon we're going to our usual Mom & Baby group. It's led by a LC from our hospital. Normally you have to pay to consult with a LC, which I am really reluctant to do given that none of the ones I saw in the hospital helped me. But I will see if this lady will do me a favor today and just take a look.
Thankfully he is still gaining weight fine, but yes he still takes forever to feed (often close to an hour) and sometimes cries through the feedings.
I really hope it helps!!! It does sound like you baby might be tongue tied. I was in pain for a long, long time. (DD's tongue was clipped, but she also had a tight frenulum on her upper lip, which we didn't clip, so we had problems for a while.)
One thing -- when I was in horrible pain and convinced that DD was tongue tied, everyone (including her pediatrician) kept brushing me off. They all said she had a tongue tie, but that it was "mild." I felt like they were all patting my head and appeasing me. Then I finally took her to get it clipped, and the doctor who clipped it said, no way -- it isn't mild. It wasn't as severe as some, but it definitely needed to be clipped. So -- don't let people talk you out of something if you know it's what your baby needs!!
I'm sorry he's crying through feedings, poor little guy. DD never did that, so I don't know what it could be. I cried through most of her early feedings, but she usually fell asleep.
One other thing you might want to look into, if you're worried at all about how much he's getting. You can see a LC, and they can do a weighed feeding. You take him in, strip him down, weigh him. Then feed him, then weigh him afterwards. That way they know exactly how much he's getting. (We did this after the tongue clipping, and it's how we figured out she couldn't get milk out without the shield because of her tight frenulum on top.)
Good luck. Keep us posted!
I can try that today at Mom & Baby - one of the moms did it last week. I'll post an update if anything develops....
I have heard that some babies will grow out of it, or just that their mouths will eventually be big enough that it doesn't hinder nursing. There are definitely different degrees of it. I just can't make it to 3-4 months when it *might* resolve itself!
I'm so sorry. I ran across that with my 1st... had a fine latch and tons of pain, and was basically told the same thing. I came to figure out (after she had been to a DDS) that she has a high, arched palate. I know now that there is a method to feed with a syringe while you do "suck training" so your baby learns how to suck correctly. So That's What They're For has a small section on this, but I definitely suggest seeking out an LC who has experience with the anatomy of a newborn's mouth and suck training.
Hang in there! You're doing a great job!
SoontobeMrsN -- That sounds exactly like a tongue tie! It's pretty common.
If you're not in pain, and your son is gaining weight fine (ie, getting enough from the breast), then there's no reason to worry! Plenty of adults are tongue tied. It can, rarely, cause problems with speech, but usually only if it's severe. It may be worth mentioning to your ped, but no rush!
I am so sorry you haven't had the help you need. I haven't read all the responses but I hope you got some good answers.
I saw a few comments about tongue tie. My DS was tongue tie and we had a lot of issues latching the first few weeks. In fact, my LC suggested I pump right away to make sure he gained weight. It was the right decision and then I spent the next few weeks (3-6) figuring out the latch. We had his frenulum clipped at 2 weeks. Even after his frenulum was clipped, it took him a few weeks to learn how to use his tongue. It was definitely a looong process. I don't think it was until 6 weeks that we finally got breastfeeding down cold.
I don't know if this is any help. Definitely be pushy about your needs. I found LLL to be helpful but more if it was one-on-one with a call to one of the leaders (and not the meetings).