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Vent about DH (long) NIFR

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My husband is so unstable that it gets old. To give you a background from 2006 to 2008 I moved 3 times to 3 different states because of him. I moved from Miami to DC to Ohio back to Miami. He just doesn't get why I can't keep doing this. You know how bad that looks in my resume? We just moved back to Miami in December 08, I got this job in February of last year, around April he tells me he wants to put in for a position in Ft. Myers which I totally opposed to because I had just gotten this job and wasn't going to quit. Then around August he told me he wanted to put in for a position in Palm Beach, again I said no because ultimately where he wants to transfer is to Pittsburgh so why are we going to be moving from town to town until we get to Pittsburgh you know!? Of course he's with the same agency so he can move 1000 times and it won't make a difference, but in my case I work in the private sector so it does make a difference. Well last night, he tells me he has a promotion opportunity and we would have to move to either Jacksonville or Savannah whichever I want. My first thought was, what about none?! Seriously I can't keep moving and then in 2 years when you finally get your Pittsburgh position move again?! Fvck that! But I also know it will be a huge promotion for him plus a lot more $$$ and I don't want to be the wife who holds him back. So I said ok go ahead apply for it because it doesn't mean you're going to get it, but if you don't apply you'll resent me for not agreeing. I'm just so tired of it, it's not like I married a military person, if I was a military wife I'd understand but I'm not and this shiit gets old. I've never been to either place, don't know anybody in either place and I plain hate moving. I love Miami, why can't we stay here? Is it bad that I secretly hope he doesn't get it?
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Re: Vent about DH (long) NIFR

  • gymnst1013gymnst1013 member

    Wow Mey, that really sucks!!  It sounds like he needs to start taking your feelings and what you want to do into consideration a little bit more rather than everything being about what he wants.  I'm sorry     :(

    Edit b/c my sad face got broken up :(

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  • ams8099ams8099 member

    imagegymnst1013:
    Wow Mey, that really sucks!!  It sounds like he needs to start taking your feelings and what you want to do into consideration a little bit more rather than everything being about what he wants.  I'm sorry :(

    No kidding. I would put your foot down and say no more moves. That will be horrible for kids. Does her get bored? What is his reasoning for moving around so much? 

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  • amy0610amy0610
    I'm so sorry! I agree with Gym, it sounds like he needs to give a little.
    Struggled with IF from 2008-2011.
    Surprise Pregnancy 02/11!
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  • Temp305315937507972Temp305315937507972
    imagegymnst1013:

    Wow Mey, that really sucks!!  It sounds like he needs to start taking your feelings and what you want to do into consideration a little bit more rather than everything being about what he wants.  I'm sorry     :(

    Edit b/c my sad face got broken up :(

    I know he's a spoiled brat. He really is and I hate having this conversation with him because he always pulls the "you always knew my job required that" or some bullshiit like that. I don't even want to move to Pittsburgh, yea it's a nice city and everything but I hate the freaking weather there. I keep telling him how miserable I was when I was there and he says that the reason I was miserable was because he wasn't there. Ehm no that's no the reason because you can't prevent it from snowing! So whatever, those are the types of conv that end up in an argument and we just avoid them. He thinks that because we moved back to Miami he's already sacrificing a lot because he's far from his kids. Again bullshiit because when I met him he was living in DC which means he ws already living far from his kids and I had nothing to do with that. I'm just mad that he is really bad at compromising. He really is and I don't know how to make him understand that.
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  • heathercaraheathercara

    I'm sorry that you are so frustrated with your DH.  It's not bad that you don't want to move and hope it works out that you can stay.  I personally am jealous of the moves...new adventures!!  ((HUGS))

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  • Temp305315937507972Temp305315937507972
    imageams8099:

    imagegymnst1013:
    Wow Mey, that really sucks!!  It sounds like he needs to start taking your feelings and what you want to do into consideration a little bit more rather than everything being about what he wants.  I'm sorry :(

    No kidding. I would put your foot down and say no more moves. That will be horrible for kids. Does her get bored? What is his reasoning for moving around so much? 

    I don't know why he wants to move so much. I know those are all opportunities and promotions or a step closer for him to do what he really wants to do at this job but still he's not single. He has to think about the impact that all these moves causes in me.
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  • Jill070707Jill070707
    I'm sorry, mey.  That just plain sucks.  How frustrating that must be, it sounds like you can't reason with him at all on this.  I have deep roots and can't imagine moving like you've had to.  I hope you're able to get through to him.  *hugs*
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