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2nd Trimester
Momma to Ms. C age 16 months and Mr. C age 3 months!
Dear Mom, you gave birth 30 years ago...
I love her and we are close but I may strangle my mother.
We went shopping this past weekend and here are a few gems she bestowed upon me:
Women that use boppys are just lazy, hold your damn baby and feed them!
You have to use glass bottles from advent or your baby will have colic and spit up too much. Plus they hold breast milk longer than plastic.
You have to cloth diapers otherwise you might as well pour acid on your babies butt.
Yup I love my mom but I looked at her because it was embarressing and also I plan on using both disposable diapers and a boppy.
SO... I not so nicely said "Mom, I love you but keep your opinions to yourself. The last time you had a kid was 30 years ago". SHe got her feelings hurt and did the whole "I don't know how I raised you three without you dying because I was such a horrible mother" routine to which I replied "Mom, this baby is not about you and my choices aren't either. Get over yourself."
Thankfully she let it go and hasn't brought it up but my Aunt told me to just ignore her and quit being such a b*tch to her.
Eh- sorry that is just how I am- I say what I think.
Anyone else's mother trying to raise their baby in 1980?
Momma to Ms. C age 16 months and Mr. C age 3 months!This discussion has been closed.
Re: Dear Mom, you gave birth 30 years ago...
Ooh, my Oma is!!
I told her about the not using really old cribs, or crib bumpers, becuase they increase the chance of SIDS... and she said 'I wish you'd stop listening to all this newfangled stuff. You were all fine. Borrow the crib, use the pretty bumper, and don't put the baby on his back or he'll get a flat head!!!'
Yeah.
Here. I mention a stroller and it's "well dad and I always carried you". I plan on trying to carry, but can see how a stroller would come in handy.
We went looking at furniture yesterday because she offered to buy the dresser/changer, and it was "well when I had you dressers only cost $1" ($1 is an exaggeration but you get the point). It's so frustrating
Well, I am with you sort of. I wrote a blog that my MIL read, and she has disowned me from the family...LITERALLY! Wrote me an email told me I didn't deserve my last name and that was that all becasue I talked about some of the things she has said/done to me about my child and how to raise him. Gotta love it! My reply to my husband was she'll get over it and if she doesn't that is her deal. I apologized for putting it in my blog but that was all I did wrong was share that she was crazy with other people. Everything I said about her opnion and what she said was true, and she can learn to deal. She got to be a parent, now it is my turn!
Your mom will be fine
just give her some time. Good luck!
Yup, my mom is similar in many ways.
-She thinks boppys or any "special" pillow is stupid and a waste of money. You shove any pillow under the baby and you'll be fine (ha she may actually be right about this one though!)
-She insists my brother and I slept in a regular twin sized bed by age 1, she thinks cribs are dumb! She used one only in the beginning and then we were "fine" in a bed!
-She also saw that I had a nursing "cover up" on my registry, or one of those pretty sheets you put over yourself when nursing in public and of course that is a stupid waste of money since any old sheet will do just fine (yes mom but the special ones are pretty!
- Also, I swear she also can't really remember specific things about pregnancy so when I tell her one of my symptoms like a weird pain I had or pain in my hip (despite only being 17 weeks pregnant), she swears I'm making it up!
Other than that she's been great and will be a great help, she's just very opinionated (thanks mom I get that from her!) and just likes to simplify things. This is all fine, but hey technology has advanced some in 30 years and I like having new pretty things for the baby! If it was up to my mom I would just have a bunch of old used crap since "it will do the job just fine!"
http://balletandbabies.blogspot.com
OOOH I forgot about that one- my mom told me if I didn't lay my baby on her stomach to sleep she would hate me for the rest of my life because she would have a flat head. And then she went on to say "everytime I brush my hair I think GEE MOM would have it been that hard for you to turn me over every once in awhile.. I'm so embarressed by the shape of my head!"
To which I replied "so you mean all the way up until granny died you hated her for your flat head? that's so stupid"...
I used to just lay down flat and let people walk all over me or do whatever I had to appease them, but I am finally at a place with a DH that totally supports me where I say "Look, you can have your opinion but I don't care I am going to do what I want".
My mom is constantly trying to throw little pearls of wisdom at me, and I've been doing my best to ignore most of them. Some of my favorites are when she tries to tell me about her pregnancy went, and her labor, etc.
She criticized my registering for a double electric breast pump, and said a single hand one should be all that I need. When I told her that it was worth the money to me to be able to do things quicker and have more time for other things. She told me that she hardly used hers because, "my breasts were just in tune to your needs." Umm, thanks....
My MIL keeps comparing her pregnancy to mine like we have any genetic make-up that would make how I am doing compare with how she did. She also keeps telling me how big of a baby DH was and says I should just get use to the fact that I am going to have a heavy baby, when I try to tell her that his weight doesn't guarantee the weight of my baby.
My favorite is when she told me that DH potty trained at age 2, so our baby will that early too. When I asked her how she got him to train so early she said that his babysitter had a son who was 3 1/2 years old so DH mimicked what he did. Ok, so she really had nothing to do with his pt the situation did. Thanks....
DS will be 3 next month...and we still go through it! I have learned to pick my battles!! The one that I continue to fight though...is carseats!!! A 21 year old carseat that is stored in your hot humid garage is not safe for my son, so I travel 1000+ miles and always bring my own carseat (which she thinks is a waste, and completely unnecessary!) Oh well, I figure that it will never end, especially after having my Grandmother stay with me for a week (that was much worse!!!)
Kudos to you for standing up to her!!!
Yup, my mom is the same way. And what's worse is she gets very offended when I contradict her advice. For example I said that we won't be letting LO sleep on her stomach and she said, "Well I guess we just did everything wrong with you," and hung up the phone.
Oh well...
I'm on my 3rd baby and still get 'advice' from my mom. It's only the beginning girls. Next it is when/if you feed rice/oatmeal..solids...then finger foods, then tummy time...then preschool or not, when to start wearing a bra, when to get a cell phone, when its ok to play tball and On and On and On and On. Believe me, the sooner you learn how to nod your head and say "really, hmm" and move on, the better. You'll only hurt her feelings and she really is just trying to help you in a way that she thinks only she can. She won't ever stop, really...I'm quite sure
Haha some of these stories are hilarious! My mom isn't doing anything like this, thank god! She's very open to the idea that its been a while and things change.
But my MIL is another story... She was telling me all about episiotomies and vaginal tearing at a Christmas family get together. Also, she told me why she didn't breastfeed BIL - Apparently there were too many people in the room trying to help and "touch her boob" so she yelled at everyone to get out and never tried to BF again.
Both my mom an MIL are very hands off. I'll actually be interested to see what opinions are tossed my way.
My mom did tell me I'll need to 'adjust [my] housekeeping habits' if I plan to cloth diaper. Not really sure what she meant. I just told her that I'm aware that babies come with a lot of laundry and I am prepared for that!
Before DD was born, My IL's wanted to put up SIL's 25 year old crib and mattress to use while the baby was at their house. I said no...the mattress is too old, and you're not supposed to use cribs made before 1987. They basically ignored me, and kept bringing it up. I'd say no at every turn. Finally I sent DH over there with a print out from the Government of Canda's health and safety website that specifically said that it's illegal to use, borrow, sell or give away a crib made before 1987.
We bought them a P&P to use when DD stayed over. Which has actully turned out to be once during nap time just this past Christmas while we were there anyway becuase they don't babysit.