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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
BlairWaldorf
member
I have a serious question.
BlairWaldorf
member
If you had PPD, how did you know it? I mean, aside from your OB telling you. At what point did you stop thinking it was just part of the adjustment & realize that you had a bigger problem on your hands?
If you don't feel comfortable saying it on here but wouldn't mind sharing, will you please email me? blairbear111@gmail.com
Thanks.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I have a serious question.
When I wanted to yell at William... or throw him in his crib... it sounds bad and I'd never do it... but that was the main thing.
I also feel like I'm the worst mother and he deserves better.
*Puts on my therapist's hat*
I've worked with many women who had PPD over the past few years and most of them either had someone else bring it to their attention that "they weren't the same" over a period of time or they had some disturbing thoughts, such as regretting having LO, wanting to harm themselves or LO, etc.
Some of the ladies just weren't feeling "right" and wanted to talk to someone to sort things out. About half of those ladies really had PPD, the other half ended up having an adjustment disorder or something else that they were able to treat (like anxiety).
There were a few that struggled with depression prior to having a baby and the importance of LO in their life kickstarted getting them into therapy, which I totally admired.
*Taking off therapist's hat and putting on bumping hat*
I would say that if someone doesn't feel right, or notices a change, or any of the above, it certainly can't hurt to reach out and get treatment. The worst thing that can happen is you learn a little bit more about yourself in a few sessions and you are sent on your way.
if you want to know my situation more in depth, I don't mind emailing you...some of it I don't want to share but will email you once I can get DS off my lap
There is a test you can take.
For a minute, we wondered if i had it, but a nurse came to our house as a service from the hospital. she gave a ppd test (multiple choice) along with the baby checkup.
they "grade" the test via number chart. I came up a 6, which was better than a 12 (12 being the worst).
Taking that test gave me piece of mind that what I was feeling was normal.
There is a PPD test???
Thoughts of hurting her, not wanting to get out of bed, thoughts of hurting myself, mood swings.
I had to take it at the 6 wk check. It is more like an emotions survey.
My baby is two!!! Baby girl 9/17/09
My other baby is still a baby! Baby Boy 11-30-11
These feelings exactly. There are nights B is crying and screaming and I just want to go in there and tell him to STFU. However, this is the only place that I've ever discussed it. I tend to keep things bottled up in hopes that it will fade away.
I didn't particularly struggle with PPD, but I had horrible anxiety issues. And it didn't hit right away. Ansley was born in September, and it came to the surface in December.
I knew that something had to be done when I could not function one night because I kept thinking something could go wrong. I was shaking uncontrollably. I had to call my dad to come to my house because I couldn't calm down and Paul was at work.
The next day, I had another attack while in the car with Paul.
It was invading my thoughts and I couldn't calm myself down. I felt like I had no control. I made a doctor's appointment that next day. I've been taking something for the anxiety, and I feel much more in control of myself now, and my mind doesn't immediately react in a worst case senario thought process like it did before.
I never had any thoughts of hurint DS, but everytime he would cry I would and couldn't wait until DH came home so he could "deal with him." I would find myself yelling at DS to stop crying. But at the same time I didn't trust DH to be alone with DS. I also found myself starting fights with DH over the stupidest things and just not feeling normal. I knew the biggest issue was when I went back to work and found myself not missing DS. I didn't mind working late and looked forward to it so I wouldn't have to go pick up DS beacuse whenever we got home he would just cry all night - probably because he could sense the tension in me.
The nurses in the NICU were concerned that I had it and kept telling me to talk to my OB and I didn't until today. When I mentioned to my DH and mom that I thought I had it and needed help, they both agreed and said it would be best. This pissed me off because they never mentioned that they thought I had suffered from it up until this point.
Certainly look into the signs of PPD, but also consider having your thyroid checked. Often times the symptoms of thyroid issues and depression can overlap. Otherwise, PPD or not, talking to someone never hurts. Being a mom can feel overwhelming at times and anyone can benefit from a listening ear. I?m a licensed professional counselor and have seen many clients with depression. It?s a real and physical disorder, but I would suggest ruling out any possible medical health issues first.
Momma Maven In The Making!
https://changingtheuniverse.blogspot.com/2010/02/difficult-topic-to-blog-about.html
That's my blog entry about it.
What I didn't write in there were my visions of hurting Aric. Like throwing him in his crib, or leaving him to cry while I left and never returned.
But I knew I needed help when I called DH home from work because I wanted nothing more to do with my child.
A friend of mine has had PPD for 3 years without realizing it... 3 years! Unfortunately her husband never said anything about it (they are getting divorced now) even though he thought she had "distanced herself from the relationship".
She described it as though she were driving through an ice storm and her husband and child were in the back seat. She knew they were there and could hear them talking to her, but she was white knuckling and focusing on the road.
My advice would be, if you think something isn't right, make an appt to talk to your OB. It can't hurt.
My other advice is, if you see a friend and you think they may have PPD, and don't realize it, PLEASE say something to your friend, or to her doctor if she won't listen to you.
I got the same "grade" on that test at 36w pregnant as I did at 2w pp & 6w pp so I'm not a big fan of a number determining whether you have PPD/ PPA or not.
B- if you think it's an issue, I urge you to talk to your doctor rather than go solely on people's experiences here. Every case of PPA/PPD is different and I don't want you to get some false sense of security because what you feel doesn't "feel like" ppd to someone else.
**Edit- I failed the PPD test miserably but waited til I was 8w pp and out of control to get help... but Zoloft has been a godsend. GL
I look back on how I was with DD1 and I really think I had PPD. I had a nurse come to my house and give me that "test" and I passed w/ flying colors.. I also hid it from DH and everyone else. My OB commented that I "looked great so obviously no PDD here". I just wanted to cry. I had such horrible thoughts about doing things to DD and visualizing it that I still cry today thinking how could I possibly think those things of my daughter. I had major anxiety and couldn't sleep. There were times where I had to hand DD off to DH because I seriously thought I might hurt her (not on purpose and I never did, nor do I think I really would have) and was scared. DH would come home and DD would be in her bouncer schrieking and I would be sitting in the shower crying hysterically. DH just said it was because she was colicky (which she was, BAD) and that I was ok.
Is that normal? I don't know. But I really wish I'd spoken to my doctor about it and gotten help because I feel like I missed out on enjoying my DD1's first year of life because I hated it.
I've talked to some of my friends who did have PPD and they have said they felt the same way. I'm not saying that the test didn't work, but I do think that it comes out differently for different people and the test isn't always a reliable truth. If you're asking on here, it is probably a good idea to talk to a professional about it, just in case.
BFP 5/07 - Kylie born 2/08. BPF 2/09 - Alexandra born 10/09.
TTC since 8/13 - diagnosed difficulty conceiving due to LP defect. Took vitamin B and Vitex Berry to help lengthen.
BFP 2/14 - Missed M/C found at 8.5 weeks. D&C at 9w2d. Partial Molar Pregnancy.
BFP 11/14
My Pregnancy(ies) Blog
This was me. I literally BEGGED DH (sobbing) not to go back to work because I was so afraid I would drop DS or do something equally horrible that would result in his death. About two weeks after I started taking prozac, I was happier than I had ever been in my life (and I still am).