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Postpartum Depression
Did Anyone Else Feel Like...
DH treated you differently after the baby arrived? Although he is being a wonderful daddy, he barely looks at me, talks to me, or anything.
I had a long labor, a c-section and we've now been home with baby for three days and ever since getting home, I feel as though my husband can't even stand me.
He criticizes the way that I do things for the baby. He hardly looks at me, doesn't talk to me. While in the hospital, DH and the nurse encouraged me to give baby a bottle so I could get some rest... baby then refused to take the breast. Now I am pumping every two hours, by myself. And DH's total lack of interest in me is making me feel like a dairy cow. While I'm pumping, he gets to hold the baby...
I'm sort of rambling here but I'm just wondering if anyone else felt as though their DH treated them poorly after baby came? Is this normal? I've tried talking to him but he won't even try to make me feel better or reassure me... there's just a total lack of interest.
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Re: Did Anyone Else Feel Like...
Oh dear, that's hard. I'm sorry. My situation is different as my DH was not home for the birth (thank you Army!), but I want to let you know that somebody has read your post and wanted to respond!
It sounds like you are both adjusting to being new parents and that some of the normal graces your provided one another have gone by the way side. I'm sorry that you are feeling so alone.
Are you working with a LC to transition your son back to the breast?
Can you calmly talk to your DH about how you are feeling? Perhaps in the stress of everything, he doeesn't realize how he's acting?
Regardless, I would feel hurt too. I hope that things get better!!!
Hi there...sorry to see you over here. I'm a regular
Anyway, some men have a hard time adjusting to life as a father and seeing their wife go through labor and delivery. You had such a long labor that ended up not being what you or your H thought it was. I know you've tried to bridge the subject but try to find a time everyday to ask him how he's doing. If he's unresponsive for a couple days address that as well. Ask him to be honest with you and if honesty means that he needs you to back off for a while then you have to respect that.
Kids can make or break your relationship. The key to staying on the same page is communication. So both of you need to communicate...what ever it is...good or bad.
Thank you for the response. I have met with two LC's but I have flat nipples and little one has nipple confusion... I spent two days, pretty much straight, crying and trying to get baby onto the breast night and day with no success and had to decide to give it up in order to enjoy my time with the baby. I'm hoping pumping will go well... so far it is and this way he is getting the nutrition from my milk but also has a less-crazy-mother who is able to enjoy him.
Sorry to see you here too, but thank you for responding.
DH has never acted like this before and we have such a strong relationship... I think that's why I'm so confused and upset about what's going on.
He apologized today and said he was really tired and has been acting more affectionately this evening, thank goodness. I hope that it continues. Funny how sometimes men pull away when you absolutely need them the most.
Being a mom is a very hard job and often times I feel like I'm just an employee of the house getting everything done. I remember it took me a long time to figure out who I was after Parker was born. Like my identity was completely taken away and I was just someone's mom now. It's hard to feel appreciated knowing all we do. They just don't get it. It sounds like you guys had a good conversation and hope things continue to get better.
As it turns out, I think I've just never seen him as tired as he has been these past few days. I don't feel exhausted but he does and I have to remember that he does have almost ten years on me.
I offered to handle everything last night so that he could get one good night of sleep and things seem much better today. I think we just need to find a balance. Oh, and my hormones need to snap back into shape.
Thank you for listening.