Tired of be ridiculed...

magic867 · February 2010

for the way I am raising my son!!!

My parents are big fans of pacifiers and if my baby fusses even the slightest they are quick to throw the binki in his mouth...I on the other hand only use it when he is extremely fussy and we have exhausted all other interventions and for going to bed when he needs extra sucking time! I have explained this time and time again and every time i go to their house they continue to do what they want to do. when i try to explain to them what we are doing, they throw the baby at me and walk away...last night the baby was fussing and they were making fun of me for not use the binki! I don't know what to do?????

magic867 · February 2010

to add....this morning LO was fussing on his actitivity mat while i was on the phone with my mom...he had already played on his changing table and another toy and this was his third toy! i picked him up after fussing for a few minutes and my mother replies "ohhhh we know mommy is going to pick us up when we fuss!" i told her what he had already played with this morning and added he probably needed a mini cat nap... all i got was an hmmm and he probably wants to play more!!! UGGHHHH! NOT once have they told me they think I am a good mom!! all they do is criticize because I am not parenting they way they would!!!!

jennybeams · February 2010

Do you live with them? If so, maybe it's time to look for a place to raise the baby to your liking. If you don't live with them, maybe you should take a little break from visiting or talking to them everyday. Maybe they'll realize that if they criticize your parenting, you won't bring LO around as much. I would bring the paci but hide it in the car when you go to visit. Then they can't shove it in his mouth. You can always run out to get it if you really need it.

magic867 · February 2010

no i don't live with them!! no way!

jennybeams · February 2010

Then maybe you should distance yourself for while. When they start to miss LO, they'll call, and you can politely let them know you you're busy and will get back to them in the next week or so.

PinkMnM26 · February 2010

my mom does this sometimes. believe it or not she thinks she is being helpful:) Last time she said I spoiled my son by holding him I pointed out how she still spoils my 21 yr old brother.

Next time they comment-- ask them why it bothers them so much. Your baby your choice to make.

ms_mellor · February 2010

I agree with Jennybeams, I'd take some time off from talking to them/seeing them. They will quickly learn that criticizing you is not ok.

I learned really quickly with DD #1 that some people want to be the ones who are able to soothe your LO (my MIL & my Grandmother are the worst). I had to put my foot down really fast, because it only gets worse (my Grandmother was over the other night, and badly wanted to give DD candy, and rolled her eyes and made a comment when I said no...it had nothing to do with what was best for DD, it was what made her feel good).

JLG95 · February 2010

You could be a small drama queen about it over the telephone and ask your mother: "Why are you hurting me? Your disapproval wounds me ... Oh, the teakettle is whistling, I have to go."

jennybeams · February 2010

ms_mellor:

I agree with Jennybeams, I'd take some time off from talking to them/seeing them. They will quickly learn that criticizing you is not ok.

I learned really quickly with DD #1 that some people want to be the ones who are able to soothe your LO (my MIL & my Grandmother are the worst). I had to put my foot down really fast, because it only gets worse (my Grandmother was over the other night, and badly wanted to give DD candy, and rolled her eyes and made a comment when I said no...it had nothing to do with what was best for DD, it was what made her feel good).

My MIL does this with our nephew so bad. Everytime he gets upset, she wants to be the hero and swoops in with candy. I told DH the first time she tries that with our DD she's gonna get an ear full. I'm not afraid to put my foot down. It also bugs me that his family medicates with food, if you're sad, have a cookie. DH was an over weight kid because his mom gave him junk food or took him to McD's everytime he was "good" or cleaned his room. HEY MOM, HOW ABOUT A HUG INSTEAD OF A PIECE OF CAKE FOR A JOB WELL DONE

beckypooh03@yahoo.com · February 2010

jennybeams:
Then maybe you should distance yourself for while. When they start to miss LO, they'll call, and you can politely let them know you you're busy and will get back to them in the next week or so.

This!!!

jmrussell03 · February 2010

I agree you need some distance. If that doesn't work, try saying something to get your point across. "You got to raise your children the way you wanted, now it is my turn." Tell them it hurts your feelings. You are the mom and you are the boss.

Temp785382312506150 · February 2010

jennybeams:
Then maybe you should distance yourself for while. When they start to miss LO, they'll call, and you can politely let them know you you're busy and will get back to them in the next week or so.

I completely agree with this.

Kingston54 · February 2010

Luckily they are YOUR parents so you should just be able to be direct with them. Tell them you understand that they did things one way but this is your child and you'd appreciate if they respected your wishes!

kreeper611 · February 2010

jennybeams:
Then maybe you should distance yourself for while.

this. remove yourself from the situation. tell them you want the chance to raise your child...they already had theirs.

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