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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
Anyone still have a miserable baby?
I remember reading posts a while back that said some of you had the unhappiest babies around. Mine is still that way and it's starting to wear on both myself and DH. We've gotten to the point where we're taking it out on each other. We have no idea what else to do.
She goes to the pedi next week for her 4 month and hopefully she'll have some suggestions for DD. I feel like a failure and I'm beyond frustrated. DD is pretty miserable about 90% of the day. I thought she'd grow out of constantly needing to be held or bounced it by now, but she hasn't. She cries constantly and my main fear is that our in-home provider is going to say the money isn't worth it to her and that she doesn't want to watch DD anymore.
I just feel like DH and I are doing something wrong, all I want to do is make her happy! Ugh so frustrating!
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Re: Anyone still have a miserable baby?
While I don't have any suggestions as to how to stop it, I remember those days and I am SO sorry you are still going through that. Those were rough days and while having a new baby is stressful enough on a marriage I can only imagine the emotional strain it is taking.
Remind yourself and DH that you are a team, a good one at that and you are both in it for the long run- aimed at accomplishing the same goal (s)- the best for your little one, and a happy successful loving life together as a family. I know for me, sometimes even now I have to remind my DH that we are a team and we shouldn't be so snarky to eachother over the little things.
I hope the pedi has some suggestions. Take some deep breaths and maybe a drink or two :-)
Harrison is...difficult. I don't know what the right word is. High-maintenance? Intense?
We don't have the screaming that we did previously, but he does bore very easily If your knee stops jiggling for even 2 seconds, he starts fussing. If he's not moving in some fashion, he's fussing. It is wearing, but it's so much better than it was that it feels like a miracle.
Have they talked about allergies/aversions to dairy or soy? Reflux?
Blair I remember that Harrison was also a high maintenance baby as well, I was hoping that you would respond. No they haven't talked about allergies or reflux. I brought up both at her 2 month appt and the pedi basically avoided me like I was crazy.
She has to be moving non-stop or she's screaming. DH will disagree with me in terms of the percentages, but I'd say about 80% of her day when she's awake is spent crying. I just don't know what else to do.
If I were to cut out milk, do you have any idea how quickly I may see a change in her personality? My only other thought is reflux..I'm out of ideas and steam at this point!
L was like that for the first four months. I dare say she has gotten easier in the last month, but I'm afraid I will jinx us. lol Seriously tho, she got better at a little over 4 months. We can leave her on her playmat or in her jumparoo for a bit. She still doesn't like to be in a room by herself, but now I can put her in the jumparoo while I fold laundry or whatever and she is fine as long as I don't leave the room for long. I may run a pile of clothes into our bedroom for example and then go right back to her room, but it's way better than when she cried and cried if I wasn't holding her every second.
I know it's so much easier said than done, but just keep going as a team and it will get better. You're not doing anything wrong, some babies are just needier than others. Good luck!
Is it possible she has reflux? Our DD does and before it was diagnosed she was miserable and cranky. She only wanted to be held, preferably straight up and down (she really like being in the Baby Bjorn). It took about 2 weeks for the medicine to start working fully but once it did it was like we had a whole new baby. Also, she doesn't have to be spitting up a lot to have reflux, our DD never spit up much. If you have it, check out the section in Baby 411 about reflux, it explains all the symptoms and our DD had a lot of them.
Also, if you have a pediatrician who just thinks kids should grow out of reflux and they'll be fine, switch doctors. Seriously, there is no reason for the baby to be miserable, Zantac (in liquid form) is FDA approved for infants and it changed our lives. A lot of what doctors used to call (and some still call) colic is actually undiagnosed acid reflux. Also, I eliminated caffeine from my diet (i BF) and that helped a lot too. Caffeine is a trigger for reflux (even in adults) and even with the medicine, it affects my DD. That's something you could try because it worked pretty quickly for me (as much as it sucks not being able to have caffeine). Good luck, you are not a failure (although I know how you feel). You are a good mommy, it will work itself out eventually.
I'm just so sorry. I remember what those days were like when he would scream & scream.
We saw an improvement in 36 hours once we cut all dairy & soy & started the rice cereal. But then we slid back, so we upped the Prevacid & switched to oatmeal since rice cereal has soy in it. So maybe try cutting all dairy for 2-3 days & see??
Have you ever taken video of the crying & then shown the pediatrician?? I think that was instrumental in showing him what we were dealing with - I had several different videos of different times during the day, different situations, etc.all of him crying. & it showed all the ways I tried to soothe him that didn't work.
When I finally cracked & took Harrison into the pediatrician, he told me to leave him for 30 minutes. & I started crying & said that he was only 2 1/2 months old, that all the books say not to let them cry, that I didn't want him to feel abandoned. & my pedi told me that H & I were creating a vicious cycle for each other & that with that level of distress on my part, that I needed 30 minutes away. 10 minutes wasn't cutting it. I used to make sure he was dry, fed, & then put him in his crib and get in the shower for 30 minutes. Just so I couldn't hear him. I'm obviously not telling you to leave your kid for 30 minutes (let you & your pedi make that call), but my best piece of advice is to take care of yourself. You're no good to her when your skin literally feels on fire from her crying. I also used to put him in the stroller, put on my iPod, and run. He screamed throughout the neighborhood but at that point, I didn't give 2 shiits what the neighbors thought. I hate them all anyway
I COMPLETELY agree with this statement.
I think a lot of doctors, including our own, think kids just outgrow it. When they diagnosed H at 3 weeks with the 'flux, Dr. Hottie was like, "Don't worry, most kids outgrow it by 3 months or so. A little Zantac & he'll be good to go."
When I took in the video was when he realized that this was WAY out of Zantac's territory & that it had gotten worse instead of better as he grew.
Oh man, good advice all, and good luck!
I am facing something similar, that my 5 month old still won't sleep. She's happy when she's awake (though not very willing to be happy alone), but anything about sleep/sleepiness means she's crying/screaming/yelling.
I've finally realized she's in pain most of the time from gas. And it hasn't gotten better. It keeps her from sleep many times a day.
I am cutting out dairy tomorrow and plan to do it for a week. I'e already experimented with other things and the only thing I know for sure not to eat is beans and raw onions. But my husband has trouble with dairy so I'm trying that first, if it doesn't work I'll probably experiment with cutting out wheat. Man I love dairy... but I need to get some sleep. And so does my baby!
Umm my baby is almost 6 months and he is still very unhappy/miserable!!!