NTR: WDYT about this guest situation? DH and I have different opinions

djandkellen · February 2010

Backstory: We had guests on Friday evening through half of Saturday. It's one of DH's best guy friends from HS (with whom he's still close) and his fiancee. I'm friends with them too (through DH) and like them both a lot. They live in upstate NY and decided to take a vacation to South FL as they have a few friends down here. So, they asked if they could stay with us a couple of nights, which we gladly said yes. We enjoy their company. So, Friday night, we had a big dinner for them and Saturday morning, we had a big breakfast for them too. No big deal, I love to cook and be a polite host!

So, they are staying with us tonight, as well, and told DH (on Saturday and again yesterday) that they'd like to pay for dinner tonight - just order something in. Well, DH feels really weird about this - that we shouldn't allow them to pay for food for us since they're our guests (even though they asked to stay here). I absolutely don't mind fixing something, but I don't see anything wrong with allowing them to buy order in dinner if they've offered several times. DH and I have paid for dinner while we were guests at other people's house...

Anyway, I'm going to make burgers for tonight (again, no big deal). BUT, I have to be the "bad guy" b/c DH won't be home from work by the time they get here, so I have to tell them we're not letting them pay.

So, am I weird for thinking it'd be okay to let them get dinner or is DH totally right that b/c they're guests in our house that they shouldn't pay for dinner?

/random question (vent)

lhuttlinger · February 2010

it is fine for them to buy dinner.

BecauseICan · February 2010

If they are offering, it's b/c they are being proper houseguests. By refusing their offer, you're making it far more awkward than it would have been for them not to offer at all.

Amymarie13 · February 2010

I would definitely let them get you dinner. If I were the guests, I would feel like this was my way of saying thank you for opening your home to us.You've put them up and fed them for several days, they can buy you 1 dinner!!

busygal · February 2010

What? I think it's perfectly appropriate that they would pay for a dinner.

It's almost a little ungracious to refuse to accept their gesture. After all, you even said you guys pay for a meal at someone else's house...

I would change plans and order in after all.

Temp552270562505132 · February 2010

lhuttlinger:
it is fine for them to buy dinner.

yes i agree.

it's like their way of giving you a "hostess" present, kwim?

when i stay at someone's house as a guest i always bring something whether it be fresh fruit, bagels, coffees, wine, other delicacies... etc- its nice to show gratitude that way. if i fly long distance, its easier for me to treat to dinner since getting to the store is harder then.

LuLu38 · February 2010

I think it is great for them to pay. If I were staying at a friend's house, I would want to pay also, just to feel as if I were showing thanks for the friend's generosity. Let them pay!!

Mrs.Hizzo · February 2010

They're being very gracious by offering to pay for dinner and reciprocate your hospitality in some small way. You should allow them to take care of dinner tonight, it's almost rude not to.

LucyGoosey81 · February 2010

I don't think it's bad if they pay for dinner, but like your husband, I think I'd be inclined pay just because. Either that or tell them that you kind of had a meal planned for them and were hoping to make it.

J&A2008 · February 2010

Most house guests usually take out their hosts for a dinner. Ordering in sounds good, too. What's with your DH?

17Apes · February 2010

I agree, it's fine to let them buy dinner. It is probably their way of saying thanks for the hospitality. They also probably don't want you to have to go through the trouble of making dinner, even though you don't mind. I would let them.

LynnJones · February 2010

I think it's fine for them to pay if they offered. I know me and my dh love getting take out so they might have a craving for something specific and so that's why they are offering.

murphyec · February 2010

I would take them up on their offer, unless i knew they had financial problems or something that would make me feel bad about it. If I stayed at someone's house, the least I would want to do it take them out to dinner to thank them for their hospitality.

brideatbeach · February 2010

Let them buy you dinner. It is thier way of thanking you for letting them stay there!

djandkellen · February 2010

ITA with you all that it's their way of saying thanks to us and it'd be a little slap in the face to not allow them, but I don't know how to convince DH of this. He was pretty adamant about it the couple of times we've discussed it. He gets weird about things like this sometimes... I just don't know what to do. I'm going to have a 15 month old that I'm trying to wrangle for dinner, bath and bed right around the time they get here, so I'll have to have dinner "ready to go" before they get here to be able to pull of the - no, we're not letting you buy thing.

Ugh, DH....

WrkgMomLA · February 2010

We were guests at some close friends' home for a few nights. We offered to take them out to dinner or order in, but they politely said they'd already purchased food to cook. However, there were a few items at the store they needed, so they asked us to pick them up while we were out. We gladly did.

Could you maybe call them and say "DH and decided since it's such a nice day, we'd love to grill burgers tonight. I know you offered to order-in dinner for all of us, but instead could you guys pick up some lettuce, tomatoes, and your favorite dessert to go with the burgers? ABC Market has great produce and a wonderful bakery if you'd like to stop there."

lpennie16 · February 2010

They want to buy dinner and you aren't letting them. That makes you the rude one. They obviously want to thank y'all for your hospitality; let them. :-)

jsugrin · February 2010

Not only do I think it's fine for them to pay but in the end you may make them a bit uncomfortable about staying with you. They obviously appreciate it and want to be good guests and give something back to you guys. I say let them pay for dinner and let them have the enjoyment of being able to contribute in some way.

blueshirt2003 · February 2010

IMO it's fine for them to buy dinner. Honestly, they are probably wanting some fast food'ish foods since they are on vacation. I know that when I am on vacation that's part of vacation, the fun eating outs, etc.

sara1817 · February 2010

I would let them buy dinner. This is their way of saying thank you. I view it the same way as them bringing a hostess gift. Refusing seems kind of rude.

Mia Wallace · February 2010

I think it's fine for them to pay. It's their way of thanking you for your hospitality.

AmyDrinkie · February 2010

I'd let them buy dinner. It's their way of thanking y'all for putting them up for a few days. I'd offer to buy dinner too, if I were staying at someone else's house.

Amrice78 · February 2010

Mrs.Hizzo:
They're being very gracious by offering to pay for dinner and reciprocate your hospitality in some small way. You should allow them to take care of dinner tonight, it's almost rude not to.

yeah I agree with this

*KatieH* · February 2010

I can see both sides and think since you are the one there you get to make the final call. It wasn't right for your husband to tell you to pass on the news of thanks but no thanks. If you turn this down in the future they probably won't ask to stay with you Sad

Why not just let them order two pizzas it'll be $20?

djandkellen · February 2010

*KatieH*:
Why not just let them order two pizzas it'll be $20?

I wish 2 pizzas only cost $20!!

*KatieH* · February 2010

djandkellen:
*KatieH*:
Why not just let them order two pizzas it'll be $20?
I wish 2 pizzas only cost $20!!

Greasa (Pizza) Hut $10 lol jk I know but I am just saying pizza is the cheap option. I don't like that he's making you be the bad guy. Sad

Want a personalized experience?

NTR: WDYT about this guest situation? DH and I have different opinions

Re: NTR: WDYT about this guest situation? DH and I have different opinions

Choose Another Board

Search Boards