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Multiples
20 mths apart is the same as twins
According to the lady i was talking to at a party this weekend. I said I had twins and she said that hers were 20 mths apart so she knows what I am going through. It took every ounce of me to not to WTF?!? She also said that they take $800 a week piano lessons - um, either you are full of crap or you are living in a whole different world as me. I just went "oh" and got away as soon as I could.
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Re: 20 mths apart is the same as twins
My twins are 5! My baby is 3!
DS#2 - Allergic to Cashew, Pistachio, Kiwi
DS#3 - Allergic to Milk, Egg, Peanut, Tree Nuts and Sesame
Guess so! I had a woman tell me so after she told me it was "like" she had twins. Having toddlers and newborn twins is definitely challenging, but having a toddler and a newborn is definitely not like having twins. I'm not even saying it's harder or easier... just not the same.
I seriously cannot wait until someone like that says something stupid like that. I would love to see the look on her face when I tell her
"wow, so when you had your second baby, your 20 mths old couldn't roll over, sit up, crawl, walk, hold a spoon, had to eat every 2-3 hours? I'm so sorry to hear that!"
My mom keeps trying to tell me that having twins is no more work than having a single baby, and that I won't even notice the difference.
Erm...?
She has an answer to everything, and it's driving me mad.
Me: "double the night time feedings"
Her: "you'll be up anyway"
Me: "double the diaper changes"
Her: "changing two diapers is no different than changing one"
Me: " You're starting to piss me off."
Her: "I'm just being realistic."
That made me laugh!
Ditto all of it, especially the bolded.
Well played nygrl79, well played. I shall use this logic on her shortly. Can't wait to see what she comes up with ( "of course they will be on the same internal clock - they're TWINS!!!" )
Anyway, on a side note, even though I did on some level realize that it will be like you say, having you put it so bluntly and eloquently has now terrified me to the very core of my being. I'm off to go hyperventilate and perhaps even crap my pants in fear.
Cheers.
you can't even talk to people like that... i would have to walk away ASAP before getting into an argument with someone like that... if I HAD to reply I'd have to say "it is challenging having kids only 20mo apart, but it really is quite different than having 2 babies at once"... which is 100% true and doesn't say that one is harder than the other (because quite honestly I think in many ways 20mo apart would be harder).
someone said it the other day to me - a doctor i call on for work- so i have to be nice... she said her kids were 3 under 3 and it's like having triplets - I just said "nooooo... it's really not. I know triplet moms and trust me- it's quite different". She dropped it thankfully
Um, that's called UNrealistic! I would be so annoyed!
Does she really think your babies will have the precise same sleep and awake times from birth? Does she really think having to put two babies in bouncy seats and feed them that way and have one scream while you burp the other is really exactly like feeding one? How is changing two diapers like changing one? It takes exactly twice as long. Plus you have to deal with one baby fussing while you change his brother. Does she think lugging two 20-lb babies up and down the stairs is exactly like lugging one?
Sorry she's being so dense.
I've had a ton of people say that theirs were 10-18 months apart and it was "like" having twins...They're all clueless and often rude because of it. Way to escape before you were the one that ended up being rude. They say the high road is always the tougher road to choose...I don't know how people do it with triplets and quads - they're SuperMoms on more than one level!
Tofumonkey:
SO Sorry! You can tell your mom that she can come take night time shifts for the first 6 weeks.....
Nights go something like:
10 pm - baby A awake -
10-10:30 feeding baby A
10:30-10:35 changing baby A
10:35-10:45 rocking baby A
10:45 climb back into bed...
11:05 baby B awake
11:05-11:35 feeding baby B
11:35-11:40 changing baby B
11:40-11:50 rocking baby B
11:55 climb back into bed
between 12:30-1 a.m. be prepared to repeat.
If they are one right after the other - then great (that was easiest for me), but same time or breaks in between are ROUGH!
Fa1ry - this is exactly how it was for me when I had my twins:
10 pm - baby A awake -
10-10:30 feeding baby A
10:30-10:35 changing baby A
10:35-10:45 rocking baby A
10:45 climb back into bed...
11:05 baby B awake
11:05-11:35 feeding baby B
11:35-11:40 changing baby B
11:40-11:50 rocking baby B
11:55 climb back into bed
between 12:30-1 a.m. be prepared to repeat.
If they are one right after the other - then great (that was easiest for me), but same time or breaks in between are ROUGH!
I just enjoy lurking on this board bc my girls are NOT twins haha. They are "only" 5 months apart but one of my best friends has twins that are the same age as my oldest. And trust me it is NOT like having twins AT ALL. And seeing as how I "win" the closest together award and I see my best friend struggle with two the same age I can assure that woman that having children 20m apart is NOT like having twins!
However, I see there are a lot of challanges that comes with having a toddler and newborn that twin mommas doesn't deal with, which is nice, but I think those cases are few and far between lol.
Anyways my girls are far from twins and when someone asks me if they are (which is everyday) I make it very clear that - no, they are not twins lol. It was so nice to have my 5 month old *almost* sleeping through the night when we brought our newborn home I think you ladies with twins or more are AMAZING and I tell my friend that all the time, shes my mommy hero!
Okay Ill step off my soap box now!
"I have four children. Two are adopted. I forget which two. -Bob Constantine
"All for Love,' a Saviour prayed 'Abba Father have Your way. Though they know not what they do...Let the Cross draw men to You...."