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Georgia Babies
Daisygirl613
member
Toddler Discipline help
Daisygirl613
member
I can't remember if I"ve posted this or not, but we need help!
Jax is in a hitting phase. I guess the good thing about it, is that for the most part he only hits me...and sometimes DH. So he doesn't hit other kids or anything. In fact, everyone else he is around thinks he is perfect. (haha. yeah right)
Anyway, I am not opposed to spanking, but I feel like if he hits me, and i say no and spank him, it's not sending the right message. Time out does NOT work. He is unphased by these forms of discipline. He will happily go sit in time out.
So, right now, I have started just picking him up and sitting him in my lap and holding him there for a minute. Of course I say no, hitting is not nice, blah blah blah. He does not like to be held like that and that might be working...but it's only been a couple days.
Anyway...what else can I do? How do I get him to understand at this age?? I know now it's hitting, and next it will be something else. So I need to figure out something that WILL WORK!!
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Re: Toddler Discipline help
I still can't believe how well timeouts work for us. I think the key is just be consistent with it. Gavin has his corner and I put sit him there and start the timer on the microwave for 2 min (I follow Super Nanny's rule- 1 min for each year of life). If we aren't at home, I just find a safe place where there is nothing for him to get into. He has occasionally tried to walk/crawl away but I just pick him up and put him back and don't say anything- just ignore him while he is in there- no matter how bad he screams. When the timer goes off, I go ask him for a hug and to say he's sorry and explain why we don't do whatever landed him in there to begin with. It works so well now, that he has actually put himself in timeout for pulling the cats hair or whatever! Now the hardest part is not laughing when he does it to himself! He is throwing some MAJOR 2 year old fits right now and those are a real test for me. But basically, a temper tantrum = time out just like hitting/biting/whatever. I don't even view it as a punishment, but I try to use it to teach him that unacceptable behaviors do not get him more attention. Also, DH are trying to really find something to praise him for within a couple minutes of him getting out of timeout. It just reminds us to use more positive reinforcement and it refocuses Gavin's attention from the negative timeout experience to the happy thing that just earned him praise.
Ridge went through a phase like this. He actually asked for time outs so they didn't work then but work again now. He outgrew the hitting Mom and Dad thing.
There is a great book called Love and Logic that can help you. Just be sure to get the one for children 6 and under. It has a purple cover. I got mine on Amazon. Good luck!
What worked best for us (with both kids) was to tell them that we didn't want to play with them anymore. We'd leave the room and if they followed, we'd just let them know that we would play with them again when they were treating us with love. That's it. They hated the rejection.
This also worked well in group settings. If they weren't playing nicely with other kids, we'd pick them up and tell them we were going to go play on our own for a while. It was all very calm and in a non-confrontational sort of way. They weren't getting in "trouble". They just needed to know there's a proper way to treat others and they could play with other kids if they treated them nicely. They shaped up pronto without crying or tantrums and the other kids didn't even notice.